Monday Morning Movie Review: Train to Busan (2016)

1 May 202330 April 2023 The Portly Politico8 Comments

In a comment on last Monday’s review, Audre Myers asked if I would write a review of Burnt Offerings (1976). I’ve seen the film and intend to fulfill Audre’s request posthaste, but I a.) need to rewatch it and b.) I wanted to get this review of 2016’s Train to Busan out while it’s still fresh in my mind. That said, I always encourage requests, so if there’s any film you’d like me to review, leave a comment below!

That disclaimer aside, on to the review!

The first couple of decades of this century saw a renaissance of sorts for zombie films. Myriad thought pieces and cultural analyses have been written exploring why, and the mass cultural appeal of zombie flicks is certainly a fascinating topic. There is a sort of fantastical, apocalyptic element to zombie films, television shows, books, and comics that speak to the fundamental questions of humanity and civilization. Why are we here? How do we handle stressful, life-threatening situations? Is civilization a shield against our baser urges? When it collapses, do we give into those urges, or do our higher moral beliefs prevail? Are those moral beliefs merely a mask that life in a stable, prosperous society makes the wearing of easier to achieve? Or do we really believe in these higher ideals, even when they are battered and threatened on all sides?

It’s been written before, and I’ll write it again: the real threat in zombie movies are not the zombies themselves, but the surviving humans. Yes, the zombies are dangerous—and in Train to Busan, they’re quite deadly, and move with astonishing speed—but many of the film’s deaths are due to human ignorance, fear, callousness, and selfishness. Sheer panic does much to end lives and lead to poor (and wicked) decisions, while levelheaded thinking and restraint—coupled with astonishing courage—often, though not always, lead to better outcomes.

By this metric of zombie-movies-as-movies-about-ourselves, Train to Busan succeeds wildly. But the film is much more.

Lazy Sunday CC: Myersvision, Part II

30 April 202328 April 2023 The Portly Politico9 Comments

Lazy Sunday turns 200! It’s hard to believe that I’ve been phoning it in for 200 Sundays now, but here we are.

In celebration of this milestone, I’ve decided to highlight some more features from our senior correspondent, Audre Myers, who contributes her Myersvision pieces roughly every Wednesday (or whenever the muses move her). Here are three more of her excellent pieces:

“Myersvision: Eye on Idaho” – One of the first Bigfoot pieces I convinced Audre to write, it’s also one of the best introductions I’ve ever written it.
“Myersvision: Last Tango in Halifax” – Audre’s review of a British dramady, Last Tango in Halifax.
“Myersvision: The Walking Dead” – Audre is a massive fan of The Walking Dead. Her review of the season is insightful and intriguing—worth checking out!

Here’s to many more editions of Myersvision to come!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: The Fog (1980)

24 April 202323 April 2023 The Portly Politico21 Comments

Regular readers will know I am a big fan of John Carpenter. He is, perhaps, my favorite director, and one of my favorite film composers and musicians as well. Big Trouble in Little China (1986) was my #2 pick for the best flick ever, and would have likely been #1 if I weren’t had I not been trying to troll Ponty. My #3 pick was 1982’s The Thing, which is actually better than Big Trouble objectively, although that’s the definition of comparing whiskey to wantons.

Naturally, readers would be correct in thinking that my assessment of his 1980 release The Fog would be similarly rosy (and rose-tinted, perhaps). While I don’t think it’s a masterpiece like the other two films—not the lightning-in-a-bottle amalgam of genres that make Big Trouble more than the sum of its parts, nor the nihilistic and terrifying, claustrophobic experience of The Thing—it is quite good. It’s not particularly scary for a horror film, but it is quintessential Carpenter.

Monday Morning Movie Review: The Haunting (1963)

17 April 202316 April 2023 The Portly Politico4 Comments

Last week I reviewed Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, which prompted several readers to recommend the 1963 film adaptation, The Haunting. I rented the flick on YouTube for about three bucks, and found it to be a mostly faithful adaptation of the book.

Indeed, beyond a few changes to some of the characters (Dr. Montague is now Dr. Markway, and his wife is not an insufferable Spiritualist but instead scoffs at the idea of ghosts) and the elimination of Arthur, the overbearing boys’ school headmaster, it does a great deal to enhance the book, a rare case where the movie, if not necessarily better than the book, is at least a worthy supplement to it.

Spring Break Short Story Recommendation 2023: “The Bottle Imp”

12 April 202311 April 2023 The Portly Politico2 Comments

While visiting family over the long Easter Weekend, my mom had me go through a collection of her old books, inviting me to take whatever I wanted (with the [stated] ulterior motive of clearing out my parents’ house). Among the treasure trove of books was my mom’s 1963 Scholastic book sale edition of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In that edition are a few of Stevenson’s short stories, including the subject of today’s edition of Spring Break Short Story Recommendations, “The Bottle Imp.”

Ponty’s Pen: Stranger Things Series Review

17 February 20238 February 2023 The Portly Politico20 Comments

We’re pro-spooky stuff here at The Portly Politico, and perhaps the greatest example of syncretic spookiness is the Netflix series Stranger Things, an amalgamation of 1980s nostalgia, John Carpenter, Stephen King, and every other significant sci-fi horror franchise of that glorious decade (and beyond).

Talk about a lightning-in-a-bottle cultural phenomenon. The series is the kind that is profoundly a product of the age of streaming, yet it hearkens back to the horror miniseries of the 1980s and 1990s—rich, multi-episode arcs; tight story construction; and satisfying pay-offs that reward loyal viewing. I also appreciate that the show doesn’t overstay its welcome with bloated seasons. The Duffer Brothers tell the story they want to tell without stretching their material thin.

Ponty sent me this epic review of the first four seasons of the show (the fifth and, it seems, final season is coming soon), and it’s surely his reviewing magnum opus. Audre Myers wrote her own review of the series last year, which overlaps somewhat with Ponty’s, but they both bring different insights into the show.

I don’t have much left to add that Ponty hasn’t said better. With that, here is Ponty’s series review of Stranger Things:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Best Films: #3: Cube (1997)

6 February 20232 February 2023 The Portly Politico10 Comments

Ponty never ceases to surprise me with his thoughtful picks, and I was not expecting a relatively obscure sci-fi horror thriller in his top three. After reading the review, though, it makes sense—and it really makes me want to see this flick.

Sci-fi and horror tend to be the genres that, when done well, explore stories and concepts that stick in one’s mind for weeks, months, and years after viewing. Cramming six volatile personalities into a mysterious death cube sounds a bit hokey, but the opportunity to explore the frailty and the triumph of the human condition makes it an exquisite, albeit devilish, setup.

How would we behave and react in bizarre, lethal situations? Would we keep our cool? Or—more likely—would be panic, virtually guaranteeing our destruction? Ponty’s #3 pick dives into these uncomfortable questions.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 1997’s Cube:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Portly’s Top Ten Best Films: #3: The Thing (1982)

30 January 202329 January 2023 The Portly Politico20 Comments

As we get into the final three of our picks, I find myself thankful that Ponty and I are doing an “Hono[u]rable Mentions” post, because this point is where it gets hard. How do you pick the best three films? Ten is hard enough, but there’s some margin for error.

That said, I know my #2 and #1 picks. But #3 was giving me a time, until Ponty mentioned this film in one of his comments.

John Carpenter is my favorite director, up there with Stanley Kubrick, Wes Anderson, and similar directors. These are the guys that have a distinct style, even when making films in vastly different genres. That uniqueness of directorial tone seems to be fading in Hollywood, in favor of homogenized, corporatized sameness. That’s not an entirely fair assessment, but I have a sense that the phenomenon of the “director-as-artist” is fading.

What sets Carpenter apart for me is not just his uniqueness; his movies are fun. They’re not dumb fun, either (for the most part)—his shots are deliberate, and make sense for whatever scene he is shooting. He is a strong visual storyteller, in addition to being a great composer and musician. There’s a reason his films will appear twice in my top three.

This picture is arguably his best, but for personal and sentimental reasons I’m putting another of his films higher. That said, Carpenter’s 1982 remake of The Thing is a masterpiece of tension, horror, and suspense.

Ponty Pans: Halloween Kills (2021)

18 November 20226 November 2022 The Portly Politico25 Comments

Halloween might be over—noooooooo!—but the Halloween film franchise will never die—or End, as the latest installment claims. If you’re like Ponty and myself, you try to watch at least the 1978 John Carpenter classic at least once a year, preferably on Halloween.

Unlike Ponty, I haven’t seen the plethora of sequels, besides—of course—Halloween II (1981) and the unusual Halloween III: Season of the Witch. I’ve also seen the “soft reboots” since 2018, thought I haven’t seen Halloween Ends (2022) yet.

As Ponty points, I, like many others, will. I’ll also see Halloween Ends Again or whatever comes out next. Heck, I’ll probably see Halloween Ends Again III: Season of the Witch: The Musical, with an original score by Andrew Lloyd Webber, including that annoying Silver Shamrock jingle. These franchises know how to hook in suckers like yours portly, who will never hesitate to drop a $1.25 RedBox coupon to sample some tasty trash.

But I digress. Ponty asked to take a stab—no pun intended—at reviewing 2021’s Halloween Kills, a film I reviewed last November. Ponty assiduously avoided my review, so it’s interesting (though not entirely surprising) that we walked away with some similar reflections on the film. “Evil dies tonight!”—ugh. How could anyone miss that braying mantra?

Regardless, Ponty’s review goes far deeper than my own, delivered with his own brand of acerbic and longsuffering wit.

On a lighter note, he also includes some pictures from his and Tina’s Halloween festivities. Well done on the decorations, Tina!

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2021’s Halloween Kills:

Ponty’s Friday Video Game Review: Little Nightmares

14 October 20229 October 2022 The Portly Politico6 Comments

It’s the witching season—the time for all sorts of ghoulish, spooky things to go down—and what better way to toy with dark forces than via video games?

Good ol’ Ponty has been dying to review this game for some time now, and he has finally delivered the goods—tasteful bedroom photos of his allegedly hot girlfriend.

Oh, wait—wrong e-mail [just kidding, Tina—Ponty wouldn’t do such a thing, and I wouldn’t ask]! No, no, Ponty has offered up his review of Little Nightmares, a game of Tim Burton-esque grotesquery.

It’s long sat in my Steam library, just waiting to be played; after the Spooktacular this weekend, I will have to do just that!

With that, here is Ponty’s review of Little Nightmares:

The Portly Politico

One Southerner's unique, erudite, conservative perspective in a hectic world

Tag: horror