TBT^2: Happy Birthday, Murphy!

20 June 202412 June 2024 The Portly Politico19 Comments

This past Saturday my sassy old bull terrier, Murphy, celebrated her eleventh birthday (humorously enough, she and my recent ex-girlfriend share the same birthday).

The old girl is doing well enough. I adopted Murphy when had just turned eight, and I can tell she is slowing down as the years progress. She still has a bout of the “zoomies” in the evenings before bedtime, but that usually wears her out. Mostly, she spends her days lounging like a diva and begging for scraps from me, her all-too-manipulable owner. As I write this post, she’s relaxing on the floor near me, and I can tell she is considering whether or not she wants to get up and go out—which, when she hears the clackety-clacking of my keyboard, she usually wants to do!

According to the American Kennel Club, the life expectancy for a bull terrier is between twelve and thirteen years, though I have known of bull terriers that live longer (interestingly enough, the miniature bull terrier has a similar life expectancy). Other than slowing down a bit, I don’t think Murphy is going anywhere anytime soon, but she is nearing the end of the breed’s average life expectancy.

Here’s hoping the old girl has at least a few more birthdays in her. She’s a good, albeit sassy, dog, and I’m thankful to have this chubby, stinky old diva in my life.

With that, here is 15 June 2023’s “TBT: Happy Birthday, Murphy!”

Ponty Praises: The Fly (1986)

19 June 202412 June 2024 The Portly Politico26 Comments

Truly the 1980s were a golden age in many ways—a great economy, a confident Western civilization, and tons of great movies. Even remakes from the era felt like totally fresh intellectual properties, with screenwriters taking advantage of improved technology to breathe new narrative life into older stories. But it was also the peak of practical effects, as CGI had not quite reached the point of plausibility (and digital effects from the late 1980s now look quaint and dated).

I would argue, too, that the 1980s represented a golden age for body horror. Who can forget the grotesque transformation scene in An American Werewolf in London (1981), or the stomach-churning effects in The Thing (1982)?

So it was with 1986’s The Fly, a film that combined the narrative abilities and amazing musical scores so endemic to the 1980s with the most horrifying body horror the decade could muster. The combination of these elements—combined with great performances from the cast—put The Fly into the national consciousness, all while scaring the living taters out of us.

With that, here is Ponty’s buzzing review of The Fly (1986):

Open Mic Adventures LXXXIV: “Funk Chorale (Hymn to Funk)”

18 June 202412 June 2024 The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

My latest album, Advanced Funkification, is out now on Bandcamp and various streaming platforms. I’ve compiled the various links into one list for your convenience. I’m really proud of this release, and I think it deserves to be heard—and I think y’all will enjoy it!

Here is the current list of websites/platforms/services where you can listen to the release:

Bandcamp (listen for free three times; purchase for $5): https://tjcookmusic.bandcamp.com/album/advanced-funkification
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/advanced-funkification/1737543866
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0CYVXHCYL
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTYRd6KE2p8&list=OLAK5uy_kK6CTJ90P8IWCohEr7YnmWCqkBfDCZDWI
YouTube Music: https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_k763vzrC76DaIsZtNfyYoYbnK-H-lSl50&si=V4D4kRQRGC03mfI4

I always like to include a chorale on my various releases, and that includes on Advanced Funkification. How do you write a funky chorale? I’m not entirely sure, but this week’s installment of Open Mic Adventures demonstrates my attempt in the form of “Funk Chorale (Hymn to Funk)“:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Deathdream (1974)

17 June 202412 June 2024 The Portly Politico7 Comments

A common thread among horror aficionados is seeing some horror flick at an age that is far too young. Maybe it was a whole movie, or maybe just snippets and scenes, but the movie terrifies and fascinates, leaving in indelible imprint on the impressionable young mind.

Often, we don’t even know the name of the film that affected us so. If we’re lucky, we might stumble upon it years later, and go back to that time when we experienced horror for the first (or one of the first) time(s).

There were several such moments for yours portly. Growing up with a Stephen King- and Halloween-loving mom, two that immediately come to mind are the It (1990) miniseries and the Salem’s Lot (1979) miniseries. That little boy vampire scratching at the window still frightens me.

Another possible film is Deathdream (1974). I’m not 100% sure if Deathdream is the movie I saw as a kid, but I remember seeing a flick as a kid that featured a deceased son who came back from the dead and was utterly soulless. I think the film I saw was made a bit later, but Deathdream sucked me in because it seemed so familiar. The soulless Andy—who is killed in the Vietnam War—is truly haunting.

Lazy Sunday CCLXVII: Political Stuff, Part II

16 June 202411 June 2024 The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

I’m spinning out a few more of my political posts this Lazy Sunday, one of which goes back to my ancient Blogger site.

“Politics, Locally-Sourced” (and “TBT: Politics, Locally-Sourced“) – A classic post from the old The Portly Politico site on Blogger, in which I discuss the importance of local politics.
“New Criterion on Principles in Politics” – A discussion of principles, which can either be timeless, fixed lodestars of the commonweal—or whatever the victors decide they are.
“Support Culture, Not Political Machines” – Stop giving your money to political parties. Give it to me instead.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

SubscribeStar Saturday: Don’t Panic—God Is with Us!

15 June 202411 June 2024 The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive. To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more. For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Introduction

What do we do when it feels like God Is nowhere to be found? That question comes up again and again in the Gospels and, indeed, throughout Scripture. Of course, we know that God Is Always with us; at least, we know that intellectually. But there are times when we feel that He Has Abandoned us, even when we know that He Keeps His Promises.

Let us turn to tonight’s passage, the unusual story of the Boy Jesus at the Temple during the Feast of Passover:

Luke 2:41-52 (ESV): The Boy Jesus in the Temple

41 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. 43 And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, 44 but supposing him to be in the group they went a day’s journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, 45 and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 And when his parents [alternatively, “they”] saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” 49 And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” [alternatively, “about my Father’s business”] 50 And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. 51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature [alternatively, “years”] and in favor with God and man.

Context

I have always found this passage to be particularly confounding. It comes at the end of the long, famous, second chapter of Luke, the chapter we all know so well, and which we read aloud every Christmas. The chapter consists of several scenes from Jesus’ early Life: His miraculous Birth (v. 1-20); His Circumcision and Naming (v. 21); His Dedication at the Temple and the incredible story of Simeon (v. 22-35); Anna’s praises to God, and her instant recognition of Jesus as the Messiah (v. 36-38). Then Mary, Joseph, and Jesus return to Nazareth until this passage.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

Phone it in Friday LX: YouTube Roundup XVI: Bull Terrier Edition, Part VIII

14 June 20246 June 2024 The Portly Politico8 Comments

After a bit of a dip in views, Murphy is starting to earn his keep again with the latest round of Murphtent (Murphy content). Considering I feed, bathe (sometimes), clothe (not really), and shelter her, the least she can do is get strangers to gawk at her lazy antics on YouTube… right?

Well, it turns out yours portly can only come up with so many ways to narrate his dog sleeping, so I just have two Murphy videos this week—but they’re good. Finger lickin’ and grass eatin’ good!

TBT^2: Touring the Solar System in Rural Maine

13 June 20249 June 2024 The Portly Politico2 Comments

Back in 2019 I learned about The Maine Solar System Model, a model of the Solar System stretched along Highway 1 in Maine. The planets are spaced proportionally as they are in the Solar System, with the Sun being part of an entire building. It’s a really cool concept, and it’s something I hope to see someday.

This model Solar System reminds me of what John Derbyshire calls the “old, weird America.” The United States is a vast country, with huge regional differences, even within States. Just look at barbecue, for example: there is no uniform way to prepare it in the South. By “barbecue,” I specifically mean pulled pork barbecue, and being from western South Carolina, we like a mustard-based sauce for ours. In North Carolina, its vinegar-based. Other States use—horrors!—ketchup-based sauces.

The point is not to get you hungry—although my mouth is watering—but to give one example of how even in the tiniest details, we Americans are an incredibly varied bunch. One major source of the American Civil War that is often overlooked is the sheer differences between Northerners and Southerners in their respective outlooks about the world itself, much less all the political and economic disagreements.

The Maine Solar System Model is a great example of that kind of weird, localized boosterism. It also harkens back to a time before everything was built to look like a Brutalist J.C. Penney’s.

With that, here is 8 June 2023’s “TBT: Touring the Solar System in Rural Maine“:

Myersvision: Joe Rogan Meets Bigfoot

12 June 20249 June 2024 The Portly Politico9 Comments

The title of today’s piece is misleading—we call it “clickbait” in the blogging biz. Joe Rogan doesn’t actually meet Bigfoot, which would surely be the media event of the century, but he does listen to an alleged recording of our big, hairy friend.

Audio is pretty easy to manipulate, and with the rise of AI-generated sounds, it’s going to be increasingly difficult to discern actual recordings of anyone—much less Bigfoot—from AI ones. The difference here is that the audio Rogan listens to was recorded in the early 1970s, and is—as far as we know—undoctored.

Our senior correspondent and resident cryptid expert Audre Myers offers up several videos of alleged Bigfoot recordings, one of which is at an Interstate rest stop. I’m willing to believe that any thing is possible at an Interstate rest stop at 10:48 PM, and not just calling Seabass for a good time.

With that, here’s Audre with some intriguing possible recordings of Bigfoot: