Well, dear readers, yours portly finds himself back in his natural state of being—single.
My very sweet girlfriend of the past eight months decided to break things off this past Sunday evening. There was no bitterness or anger involved; it was simply a matter of logistics. Due to our conflicting work schedules—she is a flight attendant, so her schedule varies wildly from week-to-week—and the two-hour distance between us, she decided to end the relationship.
Have no fear—yours portly is doing well. In our discussion, she told me that I am the kindest, most thoughtful, and most mature man she’s ever dated. I think she genuinely meant it, too. But she expressed concerns about being stretched thin between her family, her friends, and me, so I was the one-third that had to be dropped.
At this point in my life, I’m quite accustomed to this outcome. The benefit of dating for twenty years is that I spend a great deal of time in self-reflection (something I engage in frequently anyway, but having someone reject you is a good opportunity to take stock). It’s made me much more contemplative, and while I was certainly upset (but not angry, to be clear) Sunday evening, afterwards I took it with the Zen-like Stoicism of a Buddhist monk (let it never be said that I’m not syncretic).
That said, I am not relishing the return to the dating market. It’s gotten pretty awful out there. Despite the doom and gloom, though, there are still good women out there. I’d like to think I am a good man, but I’m introspective enough to know my flaws and limits.
Oh, well. The plan now is to focus on writing, composing, and building up my fledgling online empire. I also need to get in shape and lose some pounds before putting myself back out there onto the meat market.
I also need to spend time reconnecting with God. He Is a jealous God, and I suspect His Hand was in this breakup. I was probably putting more thought and energy into dating than I was (am?) into Him. I had a pretty devastating breakup in 2022 from a solidly Christian woman, and it created a lot of anger on my part against Christian women over thirty—and against God. I have been working through that over the past couple of years, and my recent girlfriend was honestly quite healing in that regard.
Still, God Will Remove stumbling blocks if it means saving us from ourselves.
On a slightly lighter note, here’s the song that inspired the title of today’s post; I do love some Dokken:
God Bless, everyone, and stay frosty out there.
—TPP