Tag: sales pitch

White Boy Summer Out Today!

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Yours portly keeps churning out the hits, and I’m pleased to announce my seventh album this year, White Boy Summer.

White Boy Summer is a collection of ten summertime jams spanning multiple genres of instrumental music.  The title track is a driving retro rocker reminiscent of Super Nintendo side-scrollers, and is perfect for jamming to on the open road.  I also rewrote it as a chorale for the album’s finale, “White Boy Summa (Theologica),” a piece for brass trio.

This album heavily favors trombone, and the three major trombone pieces emphasize the chill nature of summertime:  “Mellow,” “Lazy River,” and “Summer Vibes.”

“The Sea Crab” is the most experimental piece; it’s a musical interpretation of an unpublished poem of the same name by Liza Libes.

And, despite the title, White Boy Summer is for all people of all races—and both genders.

You can pick it up on Bandcamp for $7.  I’ll be posting links to the album on other streaming platforms in the comments.

Rock on!

—TPP

P.S.—Here are a couple of the tracks that have already been uploaded to YouTube:

Heptadic Structure Out Today!

The Portly Politico6 Comments

My latest release, Heptadic Structure, is out today on Bandcamp!

It’s one of my more unusual releases.  It’s  an experimental electronic album consisting of seven pieces written in variations of 7/X time signatures (7/4, 7/8, and/or 7/16). Each piece consists of 21 measures, for a total of 147 measures of written music. 14 + 7 = 21, and 21/7 = 3. 3 represents the Holy Trinity, and 7 represents God’s Divine Number.

If that made your head hurt, no worries—you can just listen to the music and enjoy! Ranging from classical (“Angularity“) to weirdly experimental (“Akhenaten“) to melodious (“Balladic Processional“) and beyond, Heptadic Structure is a mathematically musical journey through time and space.

The title derives from the somewhat dubious field of Biblical numerology.  When I conceived of an album built upon the number 7, I cast about for a good name.  I searched online for “Heptadic Stucture” and came up with the numerological concept.

I would caution believing Christians not to dive too deeply into Biblical numerology.  While I do think it’s fascinating that there appears to be some kind of underlying mathematical structure to God’s Word, it’s too easy to fall into Gnostic heresy.  As Christians, we should rely on God’s Word, not an alleged pattern of numbers that may or may not be woven into it.

Regardless, it makes for a cool concept for an album!

You can purchase the album for $7 (ha!) on Bandcamp.

It’s also streaming on all the major platforms (except Spotify):

Happy Listening!

—TPP

Leftovers II Out Now

The Portly Politico4 Comments

My third release of the year, Leftovers II, is out today.  It consists of two previously-released tracks; four new pieces “leftover” from other projects; and an eight-minute organ solo I played on a keyboard and recorded using a crummy computer microphone seventeen years ago.

I have two other releases in the pipeline, Four Mages (releasing 2 May 2024) and Advanced Funkification (releasing 7 June 2024).  Four Mages is a collection of fantasy-inspired pieces, and Advanced Funkification is a funk album.  Some of the tracks on Leftovers II were composed while I was working on these other two releases, but they didn’t fit the “vibe” of either, so I decided to put together this collection.

In addition to Bandcamp, you can listen to Leftovers II on most every streaming platform, except for Spotify.  I’ll have full links up this Friday for Bandcamp Friday‘s post (I’m writing this post before the album hits streaming platforms, so I don’t have full links yet), but here are links to the relevant pages; you can navigate to Leftovers II from there:

Again, I’ll have a more complete list of streaming links Friday.

In the meantime, happy listening!

—TPP

TBT^2: Inspector Gerard eBook is Coming 1 April 2021 (Out NOW in Paperback)!

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It’s hard to believe that I released The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot three years ago (well, almost three years ago—give it another couple of weeks).  It was my first foray into self-publishing, and it was a fun experience.  I still need to go back and edit some of the embarrassing typographical and grammatical errors in the book, which I will get around to doing eventually.

Since then I’ve released a second book, Arizonan Sojourn, South Carolinian Dreams: And Other Adventures.  It has not done as well as Inspector Gerard, but at the time of writing, Amazon has it marked down to $11.16 for the paperback version.  That is a steal, as the list price is usually $20, so it’s 44% off.  It’s actually a pretty good book.  Of course, I’m biased.

This week is testing for middle school students at my school, and it was during this same testing week in 2021 and again in 2023 that I slapped together my books.  There’s something about having that extra hour or two a day without my Middle School Music Ensemble class that makes it feasible for me to compile and edit my writings into book form.  I am currently working on my third book, Offensive Poems: With Pictures, but I’m not sure if I’ll manage to get it written and edited this week, even with the extra time.

Still, I hope that by the time you’re reading this post that I’ll have put a dent into it.  The biggest challenge is going to be converting all of the hand-drawn pictures into a digital format.  I imagine the formatting of the entire book will be a huge headache, but it’s just a matter of making the appropriate sacrifices to Microsoft Word and Kindle Direct Publishing.

With that, here is 23 March 2023’s “TBT: Inspector Gerard eBook is Coming 1 April 2021 (Out NOW in Paperback)!“:

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An Actually Lazy Sunday: Composing Update

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Last Sunday I was exceptionally busy and had to phone in my already-phoned in Lazy Sunday post.  Today I’m doing the ultimate phoning in and taking yet another day away from the blog (as it were—gotsta keep that daily post counter mollified).  I’ll actually be doing a significant amount of writing this afternoon, so have no fear—we’ll back to the more-or-less regular schedule tomorrow.

As I noted in yesterday’s lazy post, I’ve been fairly swamped at work, and ended a long week with two very long days.  I spent most of Saturday lounging like Goethe, alternating between reading, napping, and eating.

I wasn’t completely useless.  I finished composing for my next major release, Four Mages.  It’s a collection of fantasy-inspired instrumental music, with nine of its ten tracks corresponding to different fantasy archetypes (each with their own color).  The titular mages are “Red Mage,” “Blue Mage,” “Black Mage,” and “White Mage.”  The other tracks (in no particular order) are as follows:

  • “Pink Princess”
  • “Purple Prince”
  • “Green Knight”
  • “Yellow Knight”
  • “Brown Friar”
  • “The Blind Prophet”

That album will hit Bandcamp and all streaming services (sans Spotify) on Thursday, 2 May 2024—exactly halfway to Halloween!  It seemed an appropriate time to release a fantasy album.

Of course, if you haven’t picked up Epistemology, please give it a listen.  You can purchase a digital download via Bandcamp for $5.

You can also listen to the full thing on YouTube for free:

You can listen to Epistemology on YouTube Music and Apple Music, too.  It’s even on Amazon Music—cool!

Thanks for your patience—and please give my tunes a listen.  Every stream helps!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

March 2024 Bandcamp Friday; Epistemology Out Today!

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The future of Bandcamp Friday is a bit up in the air, but we’re living in the present here at The Portly Politico, and today is Bandcamp Friday!  That means Bandcamp waives their share of any purchases made on my Bandcamp page today (Friday, 1 March 2024), so it’s the best possible time to buy my music if you want to support yours portly.

Even better:  I have a new album out today!  You can pick up Epistemology for $5.  It’s ten tracks of original instrumental music.  Your digital purchase includes not just the music, but also full scores for every song; music videos for each piece; handwritten manuscripts for most of the pieces; and exclusive artwork (including artwork to accompany every piece on the album).

There’s a lot to dig into in this release.  The title track, “Epistemology,” is a multipart suite for clarinet, bass clarinet, and piano exploring various philosophical theories about how we know what we know.

If you’re feeling generous and want my entire catalog of fourteen releases, my entire discography is half-off.  That’s fifteen releases for $28.39, or $1.89 per release.

Tight on cash?  No worries—you can listen to Epistemology on any streaming platform (except for Spotify), and all the tracks are on my YouTube page (you should subscribe to that, by the way—it’s free!).

I’m excited about this release, and I appreciate your support.

Happy Listening!

—TPP

Lazy Sunday CXL: Firefly Dance Tracks, Part III

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

On Friday, 2 February 2024 I released Firefly Dance, my latest collection of original digital compositions.  It’s a fun album, and I’m pleased with how it came out in the end.

You can purchase and/or stream Firefly Dance through the following services:

Of course, if you’ve been reading the blog regularly, I’ve been posting sneak peeks of the album since late November.  So for the next few Sundays, I’ll be featuring past installments of Open Mic Adventures that highlight the tracks:

Enjoy—and, if you do, maybe consider spending $5?

Happy Sunday—and Happy Listening!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Lazy Sunday CXXXIX: Firefly Dance Tracks, Part II

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

On Friday, 2 February 2024 I released Firefly Dance, my latest collection of original digital compositions.  It’s a fun album, and I’m pleased with how it came out in the end.

You can purchase and/or stream Firefly Dance through the following services:

– Bandcamp ($5!): https://tjcookmusic.bandcamp.com/album/firefly-dance
– Apple 🍏 Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/firefly-dance/1724130522
– YouTube 📺: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_k5xlOgwiUIFHGrMXpJ4bjmKHGGepfpCYM&si=U5tXOlFABVRwmA-E

Of course, if you’ve been reading the blog regularly, I’ve been posting sneak peeks of the album since late November.  So for the next few Sundays, I’ll be featuring past installments of Open Mic Adventures that highlight the tracks:

  • “Open Mic Adventures LIX: ‘Listless Chorale’“ – At the time of writing, this track has 366 views on YouTube, which is kind of ridiculous (but I’m not complaining).  An attempt at a chorale, which I called “listless” because it doesn’t seem to go anywhere (except back to the tonic, eventually).
  • “Open Mic Adventures LXIII: ‘FRANTIC!!’“ – And “FRANTIC!!” has 316 views, which is even more ridiculous.  Again, I’m not complaining.  In fact, I kind of want this track to reach an absurd degree virality—perhaps to become an instrumental “Rick Roll” for nerds.  The piece is written to be intentionally annoying and anxiety-inducing for both the listener and the musician.   I think I succeeded.
  • “Open Mic Adventures LXIV: ‘Snowfall’“ – This piece is actually good—but only has 43 views.  Not bad, but it could be better.  It’s an experiment with an Eb whole tone scale, and depicts a pleasant snowfall.

Enjoy—and, if you do, maybe consider spending $5?

Happy Sunday—and Happy Listening!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

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Bandcamp Friday 2024 and a New Album!

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

The future of Bandcamp Friday is a bit up in the air, but we’re living in the present here at The Portly Politico, and today is Bandcamp Friday!  That means Bandcamp waives their share of any purchases made on my Bandcamp page today (Friday, 2 February 2024), so it’s the best possible time to buy my music if you want to support yours portly.

Even better:  I have a new album out today!  You can pick up Firefly Dance for $5.  It’s eleven tracks of original instrumental music.  Your digital purchase includes not just the music, but also full scores for every song; music videos for each piece; handwritten manuscripts for most of the pieces; and exclusive artwork (including artwork to accompany every piece on the album).

There’s a lot to dig into in this release.  The opening track, “Ode Napol​é​on,” is a multipart tone poem depicting the rise and fall of the infamous French emperor.  The title track, “Firefly Dance,” tells the story of a mysterious woodland world of dragonflies and fairies in the form of a flowing, interpretative waltz.

You even get the frenetic, eleven-second, unexpected YouTube sensation “FRANTIC!!“

If you’re feeling generous and want my entire catalog of fourteen releases, my entire discography is half-off.  That’s fourteen releases for $25.89, or $1.85 per release.

Tight on cash?  No worries—you can listen to Firefly on any streaming platform (except for Spotify), and all the tracks are on my YouTube page (you should subscribe to that, by the way—it’s free!).

I’m excited about this release, and I appreciate your support.

Happy Listening!

—TPP

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It is My Birthday, Again

The Portly Politico8 Comments

Today is my birthday.  I’m thirty-nine today, drawing ever closer to forty.

Last year I was sick on my birthday.  At the time of writing (around three weeks before my birthday—I’ve really been working ahead) I might be coming down with something again, but if I did get sick, let’s hope it’s cleared up by today.

Also like last year, I am back at work today.  I’m used to that, as I frequently went back to school on my birthday growing up.  Thanks to 2024’s leap year, my fortieth birthday will fall on a Friday, but from looking at my school’s 2024-2025 academic year calendar, I’ll be back at work that Friday, 3 January 2025 for a teacher workday.  I can’t win!

Of course, when you get to my age—I write as though I am ancient—a birthday is just another day.  I’ve never been one of those people who takes a day off for his birthday (although I might next year out of principle), and I’m happy to celebrate it with friends and family at whatever time is convenient.  Indeed, I like it a bit better that way:  I end up getting several weeks of various celebrations.  Mwahahahaha!

Hmmm… perhaps I care more about my birthday than I let on.  Whatever the case, I’m thankful for another year enjoying God’s Creation.

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