Month: November 2022

Lazy Sunday CLXXII: Myersvision, Part I

The Portly Politico26 Comments

Good ol’ Audre Myers—if it weren’t for her and Ponty, I’d have to actually write something now and then!

Audre e-mailed me about a month ago asking if she could could contribute reviews of television (i.e., Netflix) series, not just films.  Naturally, I agreed—enthusiastically!

Since then, she’s been churning out these little gems on the regular, and there are more on the way.  I dubbed the series Myersvision, and this Sunday we’re looking back at the first three installments:

  • “Myersvision: The Final Table” – A high-end, international cooking competition with chefs and judges at the peak of their craft?  Sounds like something I’d watch while eating a bowl of Spaghetti-Os.
  • “Myersvision: Baking Impossible” – Continuing along the food themed, Audre’s second submission was a baking show that combines baking and engineering.  Might we be driving on gumdrop roads soon enough?
  • “Myersvision: Blown Away” – This show sounds like it’s something The History Channel would air, but way classier—and glassier—hey-oh!

Happy Sunday—and Happy Viewing!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

SubscribeStar Saturday: Floozies

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Ah, women.  Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Literally—without women, the human race would cease to exist.  That many of them are shirking their God-given gift to do so—and a disturbing chunk of those want the Molochian freedom to slaughter their own children—does not bode well for the future of humanity, at least not in the West.

Modern women have bought into a narrative that the path to true fulfilment lies in eschewing marriage and motherhood in favor of a career in graphic design.  Rather than tending to their man and their children, they’ve been duped into thinking it is somehow better to keep some strange man’s calendar, or to dedicate their most (re)productive years to maintaining the social media accounts for some megacorporation.

Of course, men—who perhaps shortsightedly permitted such rights to be extended to the fairer sex—bear all the blame for when things go awry.  There are “no good men” left, meaning something equivalent to “there are no men earning six-figure salaries who are willing to wife me up after spending my twenties riding the carousel of one-night stands and non-committal flings.”  Some men take advantage of this sexually-liberated situation to bed unsuspecting floozies, but many of those same women believe they’re “living their best life” by engaging in multiple sexual liaisons with strange, predatory men.

But expecting women to recognize their folly and to restore themselves and our culture is unreasonable.  As Jack Nicholson’s character said in 1997’s As Good as It Gets, when asked how he writes women so well:  “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”

In that same film, however, the same character tells former babe Helen Hunt “You make me want to be a better man.”  Do modern day floozies still inspire that drive to improve, to build, to conquer?  Forget Helen Hunt; are there are any Helens of Troy out there?

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Ponty Pans: Halloween Kills (2021)

The Portly Politico25 Comments

Halloween might be over—noooooooo!—but the Halloween film franchise will never die—or End, as the latest installment claims.  If you’re like Ponty and myself, you try to watch at least the 1978 John Carpenter classic at least once a year, preferably on Halloween.

Unlike Ponty, I haven’t seen the plethora of sequels, besides—of course—Halloween II (1981) and the unusual Halloween III: Season of the Witch.  I’ve also seen the “soft reboots” since 2018, thought I haven’t seen Halloween Ends (2022) yet.

As Ponty points, I, like many others, will.  I’ll also see Halloween Ends Again or whatever comes out next.  Heck, I’ll probably see Halloween Ends Again III: Season of the Witch: The Musical, with an original score by Andrew Lloyd Webber, including that annoying Silver Shamrock jingle.  These franchises know how to hook in suckers like yours portly, who will never hesitate to drop a $1.25 RedBox coupon to sample some tasty trash.

But I digress.  Ponty asked to take a stab—no pun intended—at reviewing 2021’s Halloween Kills, a film I reviewed last November.  Ponty assiduously avoided my review, so it’s interesting (though not entirely surprising) that we walked away with some similar reflections on the film.  “Evil dies tonight!”—ugh.  How could anyone miss that braying mantra?

Regardless, Ponty’s review goes far deeper than my own, delivered with his own brand of acerbic and longsuffering wit.

On a lighter note, he also includes some pictures from his and Tina’s Halloween festivities.  Well done on the decorations, Tina!

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2021’s Halloween Kills:

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TBT: Resist the Black Pill

The Portly Politico8 Comments

Life has been kicking yours portly hard lately, and the lackluster midterm elections affected my mood more than I realized.  What I neglected to remember—what I always forget!—is that despair is a sin, and we shouldn’t wallow in its murky depths.

We can’t let discouragement get the better of us.  We have to do the difficult thing and keep fighting.  I still am done with national politics—it’s become meaningless kabuki theatre, like the bogus Roman Senate under the Caesars—but I’m not giving up hope on my country.

Of course, what I think of as “my country” might be quite diminished from what it once was.  Increasingly, I’m thinking of myself as a South Carolinian first and an American second.  That’s how it was in the 1776, 1783, and even 1789 (the ratification of the Constitution).  I’d rather most decisions be made at the State level, anyway.  If we must have a Caesar, let him at least be a good one, but no government—not even a strongman one—can fill the moral void of a decadent people.

Only Christ can save us, and He Will, if we let Him.

With that, here is 17 July 2020’s “Resist the Black Pill“:

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Myersvision: Eye on Idaho

The Portly Politico32 Comments

I’ve been clamoring for some beefy Bigfoot footage c/o our very own Audre Myers, and she’s satiated my cravings for all things cryptozoological—for now.  If ever there were a better creature to represent manly, protein-rich snack foods, it would be Bigfoot—the perfect, hairy spokescritter for beef jerky.

Perhaps our insatiable lust for marketing is one reason why the great ape-man has been so aloof.  Why reveal yourself to the modern world, a world in which everything, including one’s own identity, is a commodity to be bought, sold, traded, collateralized, and mortgaged?  Better to pee naked and free in the forest than to put on a tie and punch in at eight o’clock for a shift in the cubiclized salt mines.

I imagine Bigfoot would be put to use doing more blue-collar work—lifting heavy objects, for example.  But perhaps Bigfoot is smarter than we realize, if he’s managed to conceal himself from us for so long.

The other, obvious alternative—that he does not exist—is one I’d rather not entertain.  Although dear Audre alleges that I like “to gently tease… and poke” her because of her “98% belief in bigfoot,” my interest in the topic—and my interest in her interest in the topic—is entirely sincere.  Audre is a fascinating individual; her nearly-complete belief in Bigfoot is one of the qualities I find to be the most interesting about her!

But I digress.  Audre’s shared up some tantalizing Bigfoot footage, straight outta Idaho.  Read on:

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Open Mic Adventures XIII: The Penguins’ “Earth Angel”

The Portly Politico4 Comments

I’ve long been a fan of doo-wop music.  There’s something about those classic late 1950s doo-wop tunes that just sparkles with life and warmth—a magical, indefinable quality.

One of my perennial favorites is this piece from The Penguins, “Earth Angel.”  Recorded way back in 1954 and immortalized in Back to the Future (1985), it’s become a staple of my live shows, and is one of my favorite to play with my students.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Best Films: #6: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

The Portly Politico11 Comments

Ponty’s list of flicks has been full of pleasant surprises, and his pick is no exception.  I wasn’t expecting a dark comedy from 1944—a “farce,” as Ponty calls it.

Like his review—surprisingly succinct coming from our loquacious Ponty—I don’t have much to add.  Let’s just say I’ve always wanted to see this film, and thanks to Ponty, I can finally do that—he includes a link to the full flick on YouTube.  You can, too, and I encourage you to do so.

It also gets bonus points in my book because Boris Karloff was in the stage version, and would have been in the film if the producers hadn’t been worried about stripping the stage production of its entire leading cast.  Sorry, Boris—you deserved better!

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 1944’s Arsenic and Old Lace:

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Lazy Sunday CLXXI: Veterans Day Posts

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Way back in 2018—doesn’t that feel like a different world (and didn’t 2018 feel like a different world than even 2016)?—I gave a short talk to the Florence County (South Carolina) Republican Party about the Great War and Veterans Day, what was once called “Armistice Day.”  Not being one to let content go to waste, I published a transcript of the talk on 13 November 2018 to this blog, and I’ve reblogged it every year since on 11 November.

It’s probably a bit too “inside baseball,” but when I reblog these old posts, I’ll sometimes layer in the commentary from the past reblogged versions, too.  Readers will notice I do this with TBT posts, which over the years can become “TBT^2,” “TBT^4,” and so on.

For whatever reason, I only did this Talmudic commentary-on-commentary once with this post, back in 2020.  I suppose when Veterans Day falls on a Thursday again, I’ll reblog “TBT: Veterans’ Day 2018, Commemoration of the Great War, and Poppies” as a “TBT^2” post.

But I digress.  Here are all of the Veterans Day posts going back to 2018:

There you have it, folks.  Thanks to everyone who has served, and a huge thanks for those who have given their lives in the line of duty.  No mere blog post can do justice to the depth of your devotion.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

SubscribeStar Saturday: Disappointment

The Portly Politico10 Comments

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Well, the midterm elections have come and gone, and my primary reaction is bitter disappointment.

I’d been tepid about the elections this year, barely taking notice of them, but allowed myself to fall for the “red wave” hype.  In a sane world, that should have happened—a major backlash against inflation and insanity.

Instead, we have a brain-dead automaton in the United States Senate and a lean Republican majority in the House—a majority, I fear, that will be ultimately meaningless.  At the time of writing, the balance in the Senate itself is questionable, and the Democrats may even walk away controlling it—completely the opposite of what we all thought would happen.

I was a fool to get my hopes up about national politics.  Even had the Republicans taken huge majorities, what would have been the result?  Would anything have substantially changed?

Perhaps with time I’ll take a more measured response to events, but right now, it seems like our national republic is a joke, and the American people are addicted to government largesse and cultural degradation.  We don’t want to improve, and we don’t want to be free.  We want to be children, and children can’t govern themselves.

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Flashback Friday: Veterans’ Day 2018, Commemoration of the Great War, and Poppies

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It is Veterans Day here in the United States, what was once called Armistice Day, the day the cease-fire went into effect, effectively ending the First World War—the “Great War,” as it was then known.  The men that day never dreamed there’d be a Second World War, but in hindsight, it’s easy to see how the cease-fire and the subsequent Treaty of Versailles of 1919 were, indeed, mere stopgaps.  It was a cease-fire of twenty years, not a lasting peace, and the two great, terrible wars of the twentieth century are, perhaps, best understood as being one larger conflict, a la the Hundred Years’ War between France and England.

But I digress.  Every Veterans Day—which I stylized with a plural possessive apostrophe until finally looking it up this year and realizing my error—I repost this short talk I gave in 2018.  At the time, I was involved actively in the Florence County (South Carolina) Republican Party, and would give a brief Historical Moment talk at the start of each meeting.  This speech—from the 12 November 2018 meeting, one of my last with the organization—is the one of which I am most proud, and the one I feel most privileged to have given.

With that, here is “Veterans’ Day 2018, Commemoration of the Great War, and Poppies“:

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