Myersvision: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)

21 December 202217 December 2022 The Portly Politico10 Comments

Now it’s Audre’s turn to dive into 1951’s A Christmas Carol. She does so with her typical childlike wonder, coupled with her deep appreciation for the source material. I can also relate to fifteen-year old Audre, spending a lazy, hot day reading a book that takes place in cold weather.

From the sounds of the review, it seems Audre might have watched the colorized version, which is on Amazon Prime as Scrooge, its title in England. Amazon does have the film under its American title (A Christmas Carol) in black and white for you purists out there. Unlike Audre, I—ever the cheapskate—did manage to find a free version on YouTube, though now I have to wonder if that’s a pirated version—d’oh! Swashbuckling is cool, but intellectual property theft is not; that said, I imagine any royalties from this film are going to the ungrateful heirs of whoever produced it. Still, let your conscience be your guide.

With that, here is Audre’s review of A Christmas Carol:

Myersvision: Metal Shop Masters

14 December 202229 November 2022 The Portly Politico9 Comments

Our dear Audre Myers certainly has a niche—competition shows based on obscure crafts. This week’s installment of Myersvision is no different.

But the craftsmanship (and craftwomanship) here involves bending heavy metal (the actual material, not the music) to the artists’ wills. It’s a fiery example of forging life and art from inorganic, heavy matter.

I’d like to say I could forge my own metallic coffee cup from leftover aluminum cans (I think my neighbor can do that), but I possess no such skills. The ability to smith my own nails with casual disdain is another casualty of our modern age (or, perhaps, my own unwillingness to learn blacksmithing when nails are in ready abundance at the hardware store).

Regardless, it’s always a treat to watch master craftsman at work, and Audre really captures the spirit and beauty of that process in this review.

With that, here is Audre’s review of the Netflix series Metal Shop Masters:

Myersvision: The Walking Dead

7 December 202229 November 2022 The Portly Politico16 Comments

What happens when you consume the same piece of pop culture so many times, you peel back the layers of rotted flesh to discover hidden depths that, on first glance, you missed?

This piece by our dear Audre Myers is a beautiful illustration of that phenomenon. That said, the series she’s reviewing—yes, as entire, decade-plus-long series—is arguably something more than mere pop culture. It may represent a work of television art.

The late aughts and early teens of this century saw a golden age of television as an art form. Outside the confines of a film’s ninety-or-so-minute runtime, television series have the luxury of developing characters across hundreds of hours of screen time and multiple seasons. Narratives can explore deeper complexity. Themes can be examined in all their glorious nuance.

I don’t want to give away Audre’s key insight about this show, but I’ll note that I think she is correct. Let me know what you think in the comments.

With that, here is Audre’s series retrospective of The Walking Dead:

Myersvision: Last Tango in Halifax

23 November 202213 November 2022 The Portly Politico17 Comments

Audre Myers is perhaps my most Anglophilic contributor, probably even more Anglophilic than Ponty, and he’s actually from England!

As such, it was only a matter of time before she graced us with a delightful, tea-and-crumpety BBC dramady about rediscovering lost love in old age.

There’s something befuddlingly adorable and quintessentially English about two stodgy geezers falling in love. Perhaps it’s the notion that we can always recapture some sliver of our misspent youths when in the throes of being in love. Nothing quite so takes us back to the possibilities (and follies) of youth quite like tumbling head-over-heels for someone else, especially when they tumble into you, willingly and excitedly.

Two fogies canoodling also gives us some hope that it’s not too late for us after all—gulp!

With that, here is Audre’s review of Last Tango in Halifax:

Lazy Sunday CLXXII: Myersvision, Part I

20 November 202217 November 2022 The Portly Politico26 Comments

Good ol’ Audre Myers—if it weren’t for her and Ponty, I’d have to actually write something now and then!

Audre e-mailed me about a month ago asking if she could could contribute reviews of television (i.e., Netflix) series, not just films. Naturally, I agreed—enthusiastically!

Since then, she’s been churning out these little gems on the regular, and there are more on the way. I dubbed the series Myersvision, and this Sunday we’re looking back at the first three installments:

“Myersvision: The Final Table” – A high-end, international cooking competition with chefs and judges at the peak of their craft? Sounds like something I’d watch while eating a bowl of Spaghetti-Os.
“Myersvision: Baking Impossible” – Continuing along the food themed, Audre’s second submission was a baking show that combines baking and engineering. Might we be driving on gumdrop roads soon enough?
“Myersvision: Blown Away” – This show sounds like it’s something The History Channel would air, but way classier—and glassier—hey-oh!

Happy Sunday—and Happy Viewing!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Myersvision: Eye on Idaho

16 November 20226 November 2022 The Portly Politico32 Comments

I’ve been clamoring for some beefy Bigfoot footage c/o our very own Audre Myers, and she’s satiated my cravings for all things cryptozoological—for now. If ever there were a better creature to represent manly, protein-rich snack foods, it would be Bigfoot—the perfect, hairy spokescritter for beef jerky.

Perhaps our insatiable lust for marketing is one reason why the great ape-man has been so aloof. Why reveal yourself to the modern world, a world in which everything, including one’s own identity, is a commodity to be bought, sold, traded, collateralized, and mortgaged? Better to pee naked and free in the forest than to put on a tie and punch in at eight o’clock for a shift in the cubiclized salt mines.

I imagine Bigfoot would be put to use doing more blue-collar work—lifting heavy objects, for example. But perhaps Bigfoot is smarter than we realize, if he’s managed to conceal himself from us for so long.

The other, obvious alternative—that he does not exist—is one I’d rather not entertain. Although dear Audre alleges that I like “to gently tease… and poke” her because of her “98% belief in bigfoot,” my interest in the topic—and my interest in her interest in the topic—is entirely sincere. Audre is a fascinating individual; her nearly-complete belief in Bigfoot is one of the qualities I find to be the most interesting about her!

But I digress. Audre’s shared up some tantalizing Bigfoot footage, straight outta Idaho. Read on:

Myersvision: Baking Impossible

9 November 20229 November 2022 The Portly Politico25 Comments

This time of year seems dedicated to the sweetest of pastimes: baking. We all love toothsome sweets, and the triple threat of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas provides an ample casus belli for our bellies to consume large quantities of goodies.

But some take their passion for baking to another level entirely. For those of us who view baking as popping break-and-bake cookies into the oven and setting a timer, we can’t comprehend how bakers are able to do that with sugar, flour, and water.

Baking combined with engineering is the premise for the show Audre Myers is reviewing this week. If you want a cake with the structural integrity of an earthquake resistant building, then this series is where you’ll find it.

With that, here is Audre’s review of Baking Impossible:

Myersvision: Blown Away

2 November 202225 October 2022 The Portly Politico11 Comments

Reality television certainly has its low points: randy twenty-somethings hooking up in the hot tub; grown people humiliating themselves for cash; Sanjaya on American Idol.

Despite the format’s reputation for racing to the bottom, it does work well to highlight higher pursuits. There are so many unusual and intriguing jobs and skills out there, and there is a deep satisfaction—and profound fascination—that comes from witnessing a master practice his craft.

Such is the case with this week’s edition of Myersvision, in which regular reader and contributor Audre Myers shares with us a show about the intense, difficult, beautiful craft of glass-blowing.

With that, here is Audre Myers’s review of the Netflix series Blown Away:

Myersvision: The Final Table

28 October 202222 October 2022 The Portly Politico25 Comments

Sometime last week Audre Myers, a regular contributor of movie reviews and delightful miscellany to this site, sent me an e-mail asking if she could submit reviews of entire series of shows, not just movies. Audre actually did just that some time ago when she submitted a review of a season of Stranger Things, which I highly recommend you read.

Regardless, I of course told her yes—enthusiastically! I have a pretty open submission policy here, and I’d let an author as seasoned as Audre write about paint drying (she could probably make it entertaining!). Naturally, a Netflix series fits the bill.

Thus, I’m dubbing Audre’s Netflix/television reviews “Myersvision,” since I have a mania for turning everything into a series. Whenever Audre sends these along, I’ll schedule them under that title.

For the first installment, we have a review of a cooking show featuring the best of the best—not just self-promoting nuisances like on Chopped from Food Network (although they make some pretty awesome stuff on that show, too, there’s just usually one or two contestants who are ostentatiously self-confident and, therefore, annoying). I think readers will appreciate the twist to this show’s grand prize.

With that, here is Audre’s review of the Netflix series The Final Table:

The Portly Politico

One Southerner's unique, erudite, conservative perspective in a hectic world

Tag: Myersvision