Tag: guest contributor

Myersvision: The Final Table

The Portly Politico25 Comments

Sometime last week Audre Myers, a regular contributor of movie reviews and delightful miscellany to this site, sent me an e-mail asking if she could submit reviews of entire series of shows, not just movies.  Audre actually did just that some time ago when she submitted a review of a season of Stranger Things, which I highly recommend you read.

Regardless, I of course told her yes—enthusiastically!  I have a pretty open submission policy here, and I’d let an author as seasoned as Audre write about paint drying (she could probably make it entertaining!).  Naturally, a Netflix series fits the bill.

Thus, I’m dubbing Audre’s Netflix/television reviews “Myersvision,” since I have a mania for turning everything into a series.  Whenever Audre sends these along, I’ll schedule them under that title.

For the first installment, we have a review of a cooking show featuring the best of the best—not just self-promoting nuisances like on Chopped from Food Network (although they make some pretty awesome stuff on that show, too, there’s just usually one or two contestants who are ostentatiously self-confident and, therefore, annoying).  I think readers will appreciate the twist to this show’s grand prize.

With that, here is Audre’s review of the Netflix series The Final Table:

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Midweek Myers Movie Review: Signs (2002)

The Portly Politico10 Comments

Ah, the early 2000s.  A chubby young Portly was still sweating his way through high school (and, from 2003-2006, college); America’s love affair with patriotism was in full swing; and M. Night Shyamalan was bringing The Twilight Zone-style stories to the big screen.

M. Night could do know wrong in those days.  He’d scored a major success with The Sixth Sense (1999), the film that spawned the instantly iconic line “I see dead people.”  Then his twists became progressively more schlocky and insulting, starting with The Village (2004).  For many years, he was, like the intro to the television show that inspired his stories, spiraling, before mounting a comeback in the last decade.

But he was enjoying his salad days in the early aughts, and this week’s film is an example of Shyamalan during his early peak.  I remember seeing this flick at the movie theater in the mall in Indianapolis, Indiana, on a church music trip, and found it quite enjoyable as the chubby, sweaty young man referenced in the opening paragraph of this introduction.

Well, enough of my puffing. Here is Audre Myers‘s review of 2002’s Signs:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Best Films: #7: La La Land (2016)

The Portly Politico7 Comments

If readers thought my placement of 1983’s sci-fi/fantasy/swashbuckler Krull at #7 was shocking, this week’s #7 pick from Ponty will truly blow your staggered minds.  From the man who just wrote about Halloween (1978), I’d never expect a splashy musical.

I remember seeing this flick back in 2016 on a date, and remember enjoying it (not just due to the excellent execution and story, but probably thanks to Emma Stone—shew!).  Suddenly, my students wanted to play “City of Stars” all the time, and jazz piano enjoyed an all-too-brief resurgence.

Ponty gives it a very thorough review, as you’ll see, that really brings out some of the sparkling details of the film without spoiling anything.  It probably also holds the distinction of being the only review of a film musical to reference Grand Theft Auto 5, so that should be worth something.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2016’s La La Land:

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Ponty’s Friday Video Game Review: Little Nightmares 2

The Portly Politico9 Comments

What’s better than a spooky game about evading monstrous grotesqueries?  A sequel to that game.

A review of that sequel is better still, and that is what good ol’ Ponty offers up today.

As I noted last Friday, I’ve owned Little Nightmares on Steam for some time now, but I haven’t fired it up yet.  I doubt I will have had an opportunity to do so in the last week, but I’m hoping to dip into it (and some other games) soon enough.  Ponty’s reviews have me itching to try both installments of this macabre little gem—and possibly to revive my dead-in-the-water Morrowednesdays segments.

There’s not much else to say, despite my increasingly legendary ability to write introductions.  I’ll let Ponty take it from here; so with that, here is Ponty’s review of Little Nightmares 2:

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Son of Sonnet: The Ballad of Forgotten Dreams

The Portly Politico2 Comments

Son of Sonnet is back with a mildly post-apocalyptic poem.

The premise is intriguing; Son tells me the request was for “a poem about being a feminist in a world where you’re the only female human left. Every other human is a male.”  That sounds like the premise of a 1970s sci-fi flick!

Naturally, it’s not a great existence, but the feminist seems to realize the error of her ways.  These lines were particularly poignant:  “I learned a lesson through romance/That man may build for woman’s sake.”  How very true—I’ve accomplished a great deal in my life simply because I wanted to impress women.  I think that’s probably true for most men.

With that, here is Son of Sonnet’s “The Ballad of Forgotten Dreams”:

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Lazy Sunday CLXVI: More Movies, Part XXX: Midweek Myers Movie Reviews, Part I

The Portly Politico5 Comments

At some point I’m going to dedicate a Lazy Sunday to something less lazy than looking back at movie review, but The Portly Politico is rapidly turning into a film review website that occasionally plops out some Right-wing Truth nuggets, so why not embrace destiny?

Doing that is a lot easier when you have awesome contributors.  I’m fortunate to have one of the best:  Audre Myers.  She always delivers, often when I need her most!  Lately, she’s been contributing some excellent film reviews, which I run on Wednesdays (when available) as Midweek Myers Movie Reviews.  Here are three of her choice morsels for your (Turkish?) delight:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Suspend…

The Portly Politico6 Comments

After putting out my appeal for contributors last week, Audre Myers immediately answered the call.  Within a couple of hours, I had a piece from her in my inbox—and what a fun piece it is!

Audre is a woman of many talents and interests; one of those interests, I’m happy to report, is Bigfoot.  While I’m not going to claim that Bigfoot exists, this site is pro-Bigfoot, in the sense that any musings about our aloof cryptozoological friend will always find a welcome home here at The Portly Politico.  I even floated the idea of Audre doing a regular post about the hairy beast, but she said he’s been quiet lately.

Until now, it seems!  Idaho has more than potatoes, Mormons, Californians, and Mariella Hunt—it might also have a muscular man-ape roaming about!

With that, here is Audre’s piece, in which she will ask you to “Suspend…”:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Best Films: #9: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

The Portly Politico3 Comments

Ponty has been plugging away at this Top Ten Best Films, and as I predicted, he’s suffering from an embarrassment of riches.  Doing the bad films was difficult in some ways, but if you call a “bad” film wrong, it’s no big deal—no one would watch it, anyway.

Good films, while rarer, are still abundant enough to make the selection process difficult.  Just when you think you have a sense for your list, you’re reminded of some classic that you managed to forget in the depths of your memory hole.

That was my experience when reading Ponty’s pick.  I love this film (which came out when I was in college), but somehow it had slipped my mind for consideration in my own list.  What a fool I was!  As Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote (to paraphrase, since I don’t feel like looking up the exact quotation): “We don’t need to be taught so much as we need to be reminded.”  So true!

Well, Ponty did an excellent job reminding me in this impressive review.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2004’s Shaun of the Dead:

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Call for Submissions: Write for The Portly Politico!

The Portly Politico6 Comments

As my private lessons empire grows to gargantuan heights, I find that getting in time to write—and to write well—is increasingly scarce.  I’m more than willing to pull some late nights slamming out blog posts, but I’m not afraid to ask for help.  Indeed, that’s what I’m doing today.

I already have two excellent contributors:  Ponty and Audre.  Ponty contributes fairly regularly, especially as we’ve been rattling off our lists of the worst and best films; he also pitches in some occasional video game reviews and some photography from time to time.  Audre will pretty much write whenever I ask her to do so, but she has her own blog and is a regular contributor to Nebraska Energy Observer, so I don’t want to lean on her too much (although she knows she is welcome to submit to this blog any time, on any topic).

Of course, Son of Sonnet submits poetry when I commission a piece, but his work commitments are making it more difficult for him to focus on his craft.  That’s unfortunate, but he always has a home here.

I’m looking for posts on virtually any topic—politics, religion, culture, art, music, movies, books, slice-of-life, human interest, history, opinion, etc.  This blog is mostly non-fiction and the occasional poem, but I’m open to publishing short works of fiction, especially as we enter the spooky season.

At this time, the blog doesn’t generate enough income for me to pay for contributions, but I will gift any contributor an entry-level subscription to my SubscribeStar page (assuming I can figure out how to do that).  I may offer a small “bonus” of $5 each month (paid via Venmo) for the contributor with the most views.

So, in other words, the compensation isn’t the greatest.  But, hey, if I’m not making any money, then can you really complain?  And I’m actually a pretty good writer—ding!

But if you’re looking to get your work out there and need an outlet, I’m happy to work with you to make that happen.

My guidelines are fairly simple:  

  • Submit proofread pieces in *.doc or *.docx format, or in the body of an e-mail
  • Include a title, as well as any formatting notes
  • Make sure hyperlinks to referenced websites are working properly (and preferably are already embedded in your text)
  • Again, proofread before submission; it saves me a great deal of time
  • Posts should be around 600 words, minimum, but may be longer; exceptionally long posts might be split into two parts

Also, this blog is a conservative one, and while I don’t mind hearing from other perspectives, I’m inclined to accept only pieces coming from a broadly Christian conservative or traditionalist worldview.  Of course, video game and film reviews are a different matter (usually), but I’m not looking to give progressives another outlet.  Y’all have plenty of those already, and I’d rather not amplify wickedness any more than necessary.

That said, weird stuff is always appreciated.  It’s up to you to figure out what that means.

If you’re interested in contributing, leave a comment below; visit my “Contact” page; or e-mail me.

Son of Sonnet: Change

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I approached the poet Son of Sonnet about writing a little something for the slowly approaching autumnality that I crave, and after demurring initially, he popped out this little gem about the changing of the seasons—of the world, to be sure, but also of our lives.

I’m always eager for fall weather, but Son’s poem is a good reminder that we always forget the lows that come with each season, instead focusing on the highs.

Perhaps that’s not all bad; after all, how else are we to endure the heat and humidity of summer if we don’t forget them briefly and think about the pool parties and barbecues instead?

With that, here is “Change” by Son of Sonnet:

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