Lazy Sunday CLXV: More Movies, Part XXIX: Ponty and Portly’s #1 Worst Films

At long last, the retrospective of worst films comes to a close.  Ponty and I are both relieved to have this project done, although I think it was harder on him than me.  My capacity for consuming trash—both filmically and gastrointestinally—is a bit more substantial than his own.  Of course, that just means his biting vitriol is that much better:

Perhaps Ponty and I should host a film festival and screen these two flicks, then see which is worse.  Which would be your pick?

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Best Films: #9: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Ponty has been plugging away at this Top Ten Best Films, and as I predicted, he’s suffering from an embarrassment of riches.  Doing the bad films was difficult in some ways, but if you call a “bad” film wrong, it’s no big deal—no one would watch it, anyway.

Good films, while rarer, are still abundant enough to make the selection process difficult.  Just when you think you have a sense for your list, you’re reminded of some classic that you managed to forget in the depths of your memory hole.

That was my experience when reading Ponty’s pick.  I love this film (which came out when I was in college), but somehow it had slipped my mind for consideration in my own list.  What a fool I was!  As Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote (to paraphrase, since I don’t feel like looking up the exact quotation): “We don’t need to be taught so much as we need to be reminded.”  So true!

Well, Ponty did an excellent job reminding me in this impressive review.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2004’s Shaun of the Dead:

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Lazy Sunday CLXIV: More Movies, Part XXVIII: Portly’s Worst Films, Part III

The long retrospective of the worst films ever is nearly over, which means after over six months of self-torture, we’ll finally be through rehashing these wretched films.

My , , and picks are particularly accursed, and definitely deserve their spots so close to :

Wow, a depressing mix of bad films this week.  Maybe the worst films of all time—mine and Ponty’s respective picks—next Sunday will ease the pain.  Or just double down on it.

Well, sometimes to escape the crevasse, we must descend deeper into it.  D’oh!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Portly’s Top Ten Best Films: #9: Uncle Buck (1989)

This week’s film is going in my slot, but I think it deserves to be much higher.  I’ve been busy, though, and have not painstakingly plotted out my top ten, as I’m sure Ponty has done.  Instead, I’m going week-by-week with my favorites, including those that are top-of-mind for me.

That said, I love this film, and once this list is finished, I might have to edit the order to the “real” one.

Regardless, it’s my distinct pleasure to review one of the best family comedies ever written, John Hughes’s incomparable Uncle Buck (1989):

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Lazy Sunday CLXIII: More Movies, Part XXVII: Ponty’s Worst Films, Part III

We’re nearing the end of this long retrospective of mine and Ponty’s lists of the ten worst films, and back to Ponty this week.  His excoriation of Elf (2003) nearly landed me in hot water with my girlfriend’s family, who thought I wrote the review!  Here is what I did write about Elf:

Elf is one of those movies I’ve never seen in its entirety, but I know about all-too-well [sic].  It seems that every girl I’ve ever met loves this movie, but not just with some yuletide enthusiasm; they act like it’s the greatest Christmas film ever made.

Well, it turns out I was right; my girlfriend, her sisters, and her mom were none-too-pleased (is “none-too-pleased” another [sic]-able abuse of hyphens?)!  They acted as though I’d blasphemed Jesus (or that Ponty did).

Well, blogging is all about churning up some controversy, right?  I imagine they’d be a bit more amenable to Ponty’s next three picks (although Titanic might bring about more howls of female outrage—I’ll report back in a week, if I’m still alive after they read this preamble!):

We’ll look at my -#2 picks next Sunday, then close out with our picks in the final Lazy Sunday post in the series.

Stay tuned—and Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Best Films: #10: A Quiet Place (2018)

The Top Ten Best Films list now jumps over to Ponty, who I believe is enjoying a much-deserved holiday this week (although that was possibly last week).  Here’s hoping he’s enjoying some peace and quiet.

Speaking of quiet, Ponty’s first pick for his list is a film that explores a terrifying world in which staying quiet is the only way to stay alive.  If only students were similarly terrified into shivering silence.  Oh, well.

It’s a wonderful picture—one of my favorite recent films, too—and a very intriguing concept, executed extremely well.  I could say the same thing about this review, which is exceptionally thorough and interesting (and has me wanting to go back and watch 1963’s Jason and The Argonauts).

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2018’s A Quiet Place:

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Lazy Sunday CLXII: More Movies, Part XXV: Portly’s Worst Films, Part II

As Ponty and I are digging into what we consider to be the best films off all time, I’m continuing looking back at our major blogging project for most of 2022:  our lists of the Top Ten Worst Films.  Here’s are my next three picks from that long list:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Portly’s Top Ten Best Films: #10: Better Off Dead (1985)

After nearly five months of going through the worst films, Ponty and I have decided to launch a list of what we consider the best films of all time.

I don’t know about Ponty’s list, but for me, I’m treating this list partially as my favorite films of all time.  As much as I love writing movie reviews, I’m no professional critic, so what I consider to be the “best” might also just happen to coincide heavily with what I consider to be my “favorite” movies.  I’m sure there are technical and artistic grounds on which films could be deemed “better” than others, or the “best” compared to other films, but I’m not necessarily diving into those flicks.

Which brings me to this week’s pick for the #10 ten slot (although, honestly, it could be higher; ironically, it’s here at #10 just because I watched it recently):  the 1985 absurdist romantic comedy Better Off Dead:

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Lazy Sunday CLX: More Movies, Part XXIII: Portly’s Worst Films, Part I

We checked out the #10, #9, and #8 picks from Ponty last Sunday, so here are my same picks from our Top Ten Worst Films countdown, which we’ve been doing since March (and which we finally finished earlier this week).  With the exception of my #8 pick, I actually kind of enjoyed these films, but they were just very poorly executed:

That’s it for this Lazy Sunday!  Stay away from these films (but maybe pick up the soundtrack to Rocktober Blood).

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #1: Batman & Robin (1997)

After many grueling months, Ponty and I are nearly done with our Top Ten Worst Films lists.  Today marks the end of Ponty’s inglorious run.

I have to applaud Ponty for both conceiving of this “worst of” idea and for his execution.  The man has a talent for unbridled hatred, at least when it comes to bad movies (otherwise, he seems like a lovely, gentle spirit).  The Bible does teach us to hate that which is evil (it’s in one of the Psalms, I promise), and what could be more evil than big budget flicks that waste money producing tripe?  I mean, I guess some gaffers got some work, so that’s good, but, dang!

That said, Ponty’s pick here will be a controversial one for some.  I remember 1997’s “Batman & Robin” somewhat fondly… but I was twelve when it hit theaters.  I remember watching it at home and, in my pubescent boyhood, thinking Poison Ivy was hot (never mind that Uma Thurman looks like an alien).  I also liked Mr. Freeze’s ridiculous ice puns, which I still enjoy saying (“Ice to see you”).

Ah, such innocence.  After reading Ponty’s review, I may have to rewatch the flick after twenty-five years to see if my opinion has matured more than I have myself (I’ve heard that director Joel Schumacher is kind of a freak, which might explain all the nipples on the Bat Suit).  Of course, the point of this list, in part, is to help readers avoid watching bad movies, so would I be violating the implicit spirit of the worst films lists?

Such heady, philosophical conundrums.  Nothing quite like that in Batman & Robin, as I recall.

With that, here is Ponty’s pick, 1997’s Batman & Robin:

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