Month: July 2022

Monday Morning Movie Review: Portly’s Top Ten Worst Films: #4: The Wicker Man (2006)

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Thanks go to Ponty, who mentioned in a comment—that I am not about to look up, ha!—this film.  You really helped me out with , but I’d like $3.23 for the RedBox rental, mate.  —TPP

This week’s flick is the second consecutive Nicolas Cage flick I’ve had to pan, which pains me:  Nicolas Cage is probably—and unironically—my favorite actor.  At his best, his loose cannon hamming can completely make a picture.  At his worst, he’s either too ridiculous—a caricature of his already cartoonish self—or too subdued, leaving the best arrow in his quiver unused.

In the case of this week’s film—The Wicker Man (2006), the abysmal remake of the 1973 classic—the poor presentation is, fortunately, not Cage’s fault exclusively.  He does deliver a rather lackluster performance, lacking either the over-the-top insanity of Vampire’s Kiss (1989) or the wordless panache of Willy’s Wonderland (2021), but it’s only occasionally bad.  Mostly, it’s just forgettable.

Perhaps it’s unfair to compare any remake to the original (with the exception of John Carpenter‘s The Thing, 1982), but remaking this film was a bad idea.  At least, the 2006 attempt is a very poor one indeed.

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Lazy Sunday CLIII: MAGAWeek2022

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Last week I celebrated MAGAWeek2022, my annual observance honoring the people, places, things, events, concepts, etc., that have, in their own ways, made America great (again).

For this extremely lazy edition of Lazy Sunday, here are the four entries from this year’s illustrious list of greats:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

SubscribeStar Saturday: The Portly Politico Summer Reading List 2022

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Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

It’s that time of year again:  summer!  That means we’re due for The Portly Politico Summer Reading List 2022!

For new readers, my criteria is pretty straightforward.  To quote myself from the 2016 list:

The books listed here are among some of my favorites.  I’m not necessarily reading them at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t!

Pretty vague, I know.  Additionally, I usually feature three books, plus an “Honorable Mention” that’s usually worth a read, too.

For those interested, here are the prior installments:

With that, here’s The Portly Politico Summer Reading List 2022:

1.) Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: A Novel (2021) – This novel—Tarantino’s first—is a novelization of his film Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019), a flick I really enjoyed, even though it appears I have not reviewed it on the site.  What makes it so fun is that it’s written like a pulp novel about the waning days of Hollywood’s golden age.  I’m only nine chapters (about 142 pages of 400) into the book, but as a fan of the film, I can heartily recommend it.  Like an novel (or, in this case, novelization) it can explore scenes and characters and backstories in more detail.  Considering the film is a daunting 161 minutes—nearly three hours—in length, it’s remarkable how much more can be explored in a book.

The novel shifts perspectives between different characters, but the main characters are washed-up cowboy actor Rick Dalton and his stunt double and personal driver, Cliff Booth.  Dalton’s career isn’t exactly dead, but his glory days are behind him, and he’s playing bit-parts as the “heavy” on Westerns.  Booth, a veteran of the Second World War with a fairly dark past, plays babysitter to the bipolar, alcoholic Dalton.  While it seems Dalton gets the better part of this arrangement, the pair form a mutually-beneficial bond—when Dalton works, Cliff does.

Dalton’s career is slowly starting to improve against the backdrop of the Manson Family, which begins its murderous spree in Los Angeles.  The film version presents an alternate version of the Sharon Tate murder, and I imagine the book is heading in the same direction.

For fans of Old Hollywood and Westerns—and, of course, the Zeitgeist of the late 1960s and early 1970s—it’s a must-read, and very fun, too.

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MAGAWeek2022: Ted Nugent

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This week is MAGAWeek2022, my celebration of the men, women, and ideas that MADE AMERICA GREAT!  Starting Monday, 4 July 2022, this year’s MAGAWeek2022 posts will be SubscribeStar exclusives.  If you want to read the full posts, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for as little as $1 a month.  You’ll also get access to exclusive content every Saturday.

I joked Wednesday that I was honoring Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones, a legend in the annals of rock ‘n’ roll history.  But today I actually am honoring an rocker—an American, straight from the Motor City of Detroit, Michigan—whose commitment to the Second Amendment (and the United States) is borderline terrifying, in the best possible way.

His intense, in-your-face live shows and passion for bow-hunting—and showing respect for every kill—have made him a larger-than-life personality—fitting for a rock star.  Like Led Zeppelin’s towering “Stairway to Heaven,” he had his own epic-length hit, the swaggering, masculine, slightly violent “Stranglehold“—one of my favorite songs for driving late at night.

I’m writing, of course, about the Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent.

To read the rest of today’s MAGAWeek2022 post, head to my SubscribeStar page and subscribe for $1 a month or more!

TBT^256: Happy Birthday, America!

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On Monday, America celebrated its 246th birthday.  I don’t know what the word is for “250th” (bisesquicentennial?), but that will be fun when it arrives in 2026.  I’m still hoping to make it to the tricentennial in 2076, but I’m not holding my breath—I’ll be ninety-one-and-a-half (maybe I’ll blog about it—ha!)!  I also imagine the United States of that time will be as unrecognizable to us as the United States of today is unrecognizable to someone at the bicentennial, much less the centennial observance.

America is not in the best of times, but victories abound nonetheless.  Sure, prices are through the rough and shortages seem to be increasingly commonplace.  But babies have a chance at life now, and our most basic constitutional rights continue—for the time being—to be upheld, albeit imperfectly (we have what are essentially political prisoners wasting away in jail without a trial because they were invited to walk around the US Capitol Building).

Regardless, I’m proud to be an American, and I’m thankful to live in this country.  It’s not perfect, but it’s home.

With that, here is “TBT^16: Happy Birthday, America!“:

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MAGAWeek2022: John Paul Jones

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This week is MAGAWeek2022, my celebration of the men, women, and ideas that MADE AMERICA GREAT!  Starting Monday, 4 July 2022, this year’s MAGAWeek2022 posts will be SubscribeStar exclusives.  If you want to read the full posts, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for as little as $1 a month.  You’ll also get access to exclusive content every Saturday.

As MAGAWeek2022 rolls on, it’s my pleasure to feature the indefatigable John Paul Jones as the third entry.

Yes, with his hypnotic bass lines, workmanlike studio skills, and steady reliability, John Paul Jones provided the backbone for Led Zeppelin’s bluesy, protometal sound.

Wait, wait—not that John Paul Jones!  Although he is an amazing bassist, I’m dedicating today’s edition of MAGAWeek2022 to an even greater John Paul Jones:  Captain John Paul Jones of the American Continental Navy (and Rear Admiral in the Russian Imperial Navy).

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MAGAWeek2022: Robert Bork

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This week is MAGAWeek2022, my celebration of the men, women, and ideas that MADE AMERICA GREAT!  Starting Monday, 4 July 2022, this year’s MAGAWeek2022 posts will be SubscribeStar exclusives.  If you want to read the full posts, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for as little as $1 a month.  You’ll also get access to exclusive content every Saturday.

The first MAGAWeek2022 honoree was the great Justice Clarence Thomas, a powerful force for constitutional originalism on the Supreme Court.  Before Justice Thomas, however, there was another jurisprudential figure who articulated and championed the then-dormant notion of originalism.  Like Thomas, he would face lurid accusations during his contentious Supreme Court confirmation hearings.  Unlike Thomas, he would fall to these accusations, failing to win confirmation to the Court.

Nevertheless, his legacy resounds down to the present, and his failed confirmation would teach conservatives a valuable lesson about fighting back against Leftist lies.

It is my honor to recognize our next MAGAWeek2022 figure:  Judge Robert Heron Bork.

To read the rest of today’s MAGAWeek2022 post, head to my SubscribeStar page and subscribe for $1 a month or more!

MAGAWeek2022: Clarence Thomas

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This week is MAGAWeek2022, my celebration of the men, women, and ideas that MADE AMERICA GREAT!  Starting Monday, 4 July 2022, this year’s MAGAWeek2022 posts will be SubscribeStar exclusives.  If you want to read the full posts, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for as little as $1 a month.  You’ll also get access to exclusive content every Saturday.

Happy Birthday, America!  It’s Independence Day, which means it’s time for MAGAWeek2022!  It’s the time of year when The Portly Politico celebrates the people, places, things, events, concepts, etc., that have made America great (again).

The first subject of this year’s MAGAWeek is an obvious choice:  a warrior for constitutional originalism and life, he’s suffered the slings and arrows of segregation and cancel culture in a long, distinguished legal career.

I’m talking, of course, about US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

To read the rest of today’s MAGAWeek2022 post, head to my SubscribeStar page and subscribe for $1 a month or more!

Lazy Sunday CLII: Frederick Ingram, Part II

The Portly Politico4 Comments

We’re back for another Sunday of Ingramania, the musical sensation that is sweeping the nation (or, at least, the half-dozen people that read this blog on Sundays).  Here are the next three juicy posts about the incomparable Frederick Ingram:

Thus ends our two-part retrospective on all things Frederick Ingram.  Here’s hoping we hear more from him soon!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

SubscribeStar Saturday: Summer Camps 2022 Reviews

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Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

I spent the first three weeks of summer break running camps:  two sessions of the popular Minecraft Camp, and one session of the far-less-popular Rock ‘n’ Roll Camp.  These camps make up a substantial portion of my summertime earnings, and so are an important revenue stream for yours portly during the otherwise lean summer months.

In this post, I’ll discuss each camp briefly, then break down the financials, and how I netted (after expenses, but before taxes) $1965.64 across roughly forty-eight working hours.

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