Son of Sonnet: Mochi on the Moon

9 February 20226 February 2022 The Portly Politico3 Comments

Son of Sonnet’s pen is scribbling once again, and he’s back with some new poems!

It appears The Gemini Sonnets are complete; I recommend you read them if you haven’t already: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, and #6.

These new poems are more lighthearted in nature. Indeed, Son told me that with today’s poem, “Mochi on the Moon,” and the next poem (which will pop in two weeks), “There’s no special meaning. Just wanted to write something more cheerful with a musical flow.”

He added, “I don’t want someone to go ‘mochi and sorbet are the [B]ody and [B]lood of Christ, and the moon is [M]other Mary!'”

So, you read it from the poet himself: don’t go reading a bunch of deep, theologically significant stuff into this week’s poem. I mean, one of the lines is literally, “Pi pi pi pi, pa pa pa pa.”

Your generous subscriptions to my SubscribeStar page have made it possible to patronize Son’s work. As a community of artists, readers, and pundits, we should work together as much as possible to cultivate and support one another’s talents. I can’t pay Son much—yet—but I’m able to offer him something for his talents because of your generosity.

Every artist as dedicated to his craft as Son deserves both recognition and support. I would encourage you to consider a subscription to Son of Sonnet’s SubscribeStar page as a way to encourage the growth and development of an eloquent voice on our side of this long culture war. Conservatives often complain about not holding any ground culturally; now is the time to support the culture that is being created.

You can read Son of Sonnet’s poetry on his Telegram channel, on Gab, and on Minds.

Composing Humorous Miniatures

8 February 20227 February 2022 The Portly Politico16 Comments

Today’s post will be a bit of an acquired taste, as I’m essentially spinning a cheesy inside joke from the Internet into a post for general consumption.

At best, I’m hopeful it will give some insight into the often arbitrary and absurd sources for inspiration. I will note here that the short compositions here do not sound good (except for the second of the Ethiopian Rhapsodies I dashed off, which is actually pretty fun).

Monday Morning Movie Review: Bicentennial Man (1999)

7 February 20226 February 2022 The Portly Politico27 Comments

After many requests—from Audre Myers, not lots of different people—I am finally reviewing Bicentennial Man (1999), the film in which Robert Williams plays a robot, Andrew Martin, who wishes to become a human. I picked up this flick on-demand on RedBox for about $4—a small price to pay to make Audre happy (and/or to appease her, depending upon one’s perspective).

When I announced I’d be reviewing this film last Monday, it engendered some controversy in the comments. Regular reader and contributor Pontiac Dreamer 39 (now going by “Always a Kid for Today”) wrote:

Bicentennial man?! Crikey, Tyler, you’re going to need a lot of booze. I like Robin Williams but that film is dross. If you can get through to the end sober, I’ll be impressed. Personally, I’d have made Audre rewatch that film!

Audre predictably came to the film’s defense, citing its relevance in an age in which robots and artificial intelligence are growing increasingly sophisticated. Ponty/AaKfT argued better films on the topic exist, such as Paul Verhoeven’s 1987 masterpiece RoboCop.

You can read the comment thread for yourself, but after viewing the film (stone cold sober), I am ready to render my judgment on Bicentennial Man.

Lazy Sunday CLI: More Movies, Part XV: Movie Reviews, Part XV

6 February 20225 February 2022 The Portly Politico4 Comments

After three poetical Sundays (here, here, and here), it’s time to get back to the schlock and sleaze you’ve come to expect from yours portly. That means more movie reviews!

These three flicks date from late October and early November, the beating heart of the so-called “spooky season.” As such, these films fall nicely into the spooky category. Two of them are masterpieces, while another is a dud.

Well, per Meat Loaf, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad“:

“Monday Morning Movie Review: Dracula (1931)” – The local library showed a bunch of the classic Universal Monster Movies in October, and I managed to make it out to 1931’s Dracula. What a great movie! It’s easy to see why it was and remains an instant classic. Highly recommended.
“Monday Morning Movie Review: Halloween Kills (2021)” – Alternatively, some classics are meant to die young, even if their villains never do. 2021’s Halloween Kills is a lackluster sequel to the 2018 Halloween reboot/sequel/soft reboot/reimagining/etc. That was a good movie; Halloween Kills was tedious and grating (how many times can random characters shout “Evil Dies Tonight”? before it gets annoying; it might make a good drinking game for those so inclined). There’s a ham-fisted attempt to work in a message about the violence of mobs, but the movie is ultimately just dull.
“Monday Morning Movie Review: Wait Until Dark (1967)” – So it’s back to the 1960s, a time when concerns about youthful street hooligans and declining civic virtues (hmm, sounds familiar) wound up on the silver screen. 1967’s Wait Until Dark, starring Audrey Hepburn as a blind woman living with her photographer husband in a basement apartment in New York City, is actually a good movie, and a tense, Hitchcockian thriller. A couple of thugs and an intimidating Mod harass the poor blind woman, attempting to gaslight her into revealing the location of an antique doll full of drugs. The setup is a bit ridiculous, but the story itself is taut. Also highly recommended.

There you have it! Back to the movies this Lazy Sunday.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

SubscribeStar Saturday: Behind the Songs: Funeral Pyre

5 February 20225 February 2022 The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive. To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more. For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Apologies to readers for the slight delay with today’s post. It was a grueling but productive week, and after teaching eighteen lessons in five days to seventeen students (and it would have been twenty lessons and nineteen students, were it not for The Virus), I fell asleep a little before 8 PM last night, and slept until around 7 AM this morning.

Today’s post is the penultimate in my Behind the Songs miniseries. I’ve been going through the stories behind each of the six songs on my debut EP, Contest Winner EP. With “Funeral Pyre,” the fifth track, we’re nearly through the entire release!

I often conceive of “Funeral Pyre” as a companion piece to “Ghostly,” which I covered in detail last week. Both are unusual songs, and it’s pretty easy to link ghosts and funerals thematically.

I thought I’d written “Funeral Pyre” last among all the songs on the EP, but it appears that I wrote it roughly three weeks before “Ghostly.” Both tunes date to January 2014—6 January 2014 for “Funeral Pyre,” and 30 January 2014 for “Ghostly,” according to the original lead sheets.

Regardless, the two songs share some similarities. Besides the thematic similarity, both are fairly dark in tone compared to the other songs on the EP. They also were late additions: originally, I think I was just going to record “Hipster Girl Next Door,” “Greek Fair,” “By the Light of the Laptop Screen,” and “Contest Winner,” and release a single.

But a gnarly ice storm meant that my recording session was delayed, and I wrote “Funeral Pyre” while sitting at home in my tiny apartment in Florence, South Carolina, while the world was covered in ice. I was supposed to go that night to start recording the record, but the foul weather meant a postponement, which allowed time to write the song and, it seems, “Ghostly.”

One other similarity: “Funeral Pyre” and “Ghostly” are the songs from the record I play live the least. “Ghostly” does enjoy a lot of playtime during the spooky season, but for many years, I neglected “Funeral Pyre” in my live sets.

As we’ll see, I now think that was a mistake.

To read more of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

The Re-Return of Bandcamp Friday

4 February 20221 February 2022 The Portly Politico11 Comments

Last month I boldly proclaimed “The End of Bandcamp Friday” because, well, their website said it was over. Naturally, that announcement turned out to be premature, as Bandcamp is bringing back Bandcamp Fridays!

I really should take this opportunity to write some new material, as many of the readers of this blog have either a.) already purchased my music or b.) made it clear they have no intention of doing so.

Still, I should at least try to get readers to part with their money—right?—so here is an abbreviated version of my usual spiel:

It being the Bandcamp Friday—and nearly Valentine’s Day!—there’s never been a better time to buy my music, my merch, or my book. Indeed, you can pick up my entire discography (seven albums!) for just $19.98, a whopping 35% discount.

On Bandcamp Friday, Bandcamp waives it’s share of sales, so musicians take home more of those dollars than other days.

Bandcamp also has some exciting news: musicians can host livestreams via the platform now! These can be free or ticketed, which opens up some enticing opportunities for musicians. I’ll explore this option in the near future.

That’s all I’ve got. It’s been a bit rough lately for yours portly, but things are good on the financial front for the moment. By the time this post is published, I’ll have taught thirteen lessons this week, with six more coming up today. I would have had twenty-one separate lessons this week, but a couple of students got sick and/or had to quarantine. Needless to say, that’s helped beef up the coffers considerably after the doldrums of January.

Of course, there’s always room for more beef—or cheddar—in the coffers, so feel free to cough ‘er up.

Happy Friday!

—TPP

TBT: A Tale of Two Cyclists

3 February 202229 January 2022 The Portly Politico16 Comments

My good online friend and regular commenter/contributor Pontiac Dream 39 wrote a great piece for The Conservative Woman about the new Highway Code in Great Britain. Apparently, the Highway Code is the document that deals with all that tricky driving stuff like who has the right-of-way in what situation, etc.

The new code features a bunch of carveouts and privileges for that most odious of roadway users, the cyclist. Ponty details how these “reforms” will result in increased cyclist fatalities, car accidents, and massive traffic jams, all in the name of giving cyclists more precious roadway.

That’s a trend all over the Anglosphere, it seems. Cycling nuts—the same people that want us all crammed into cities and getting around by public transport and aluminum bikes—keep pushing for not just more recognition on the roads, but more actual road space! Bicycle lanes pop up all over on congested city streets.

Cyclists also seem to have a total disregard for the massive vehicles barreling down on them. Few things make my blood boil and my eyes roll like seeing a a cyclist in full Spandex in 5 PM rush hour traffic. They seem to possess this notion that because there are laws allowing them space on the road, they are somehow invincible from harm.

But in this piece from 2019, I note there are some people who have no option but to ride a bike to get around. I consider these folks to be honest, hardworking dudes who just need a way to get to work (that, or they have DUIs or suspended licenses, so…). I am also not opposed to bike riding, per se—I desperately want a bike myself for running small errands around town. But I’m not going to be schlepping ten miles up US-401 at 7:30 AM in busy traffic, jeopardizing my life and making everyone else late for work.

But I digress. Read Ponty’s piece—it’s quite good!

With that, here is 17 September 2019’s “A Tale of Two Cyclists“:

Amateur Prepping

2 February 20221 February 2022 The Portly Politico47 Comments

The price of everything is going up, and I’m increasingly pessimistic about the long-term prospects for civilization (and, well, everything). With the supply chain disruptions and our culture’s constant obsession with Grievance Studies, it doesn’t seem like anyone serious is in charge anymore, and it’s getting hard to get stuff. People are sitting at home rather than working, further exacerbating the ongoing supply chain issues.

Anyone reading this blog is likely familiar with these problems. Just talking about them, though, doesn’t do much to solve the problems. Fortunately, there are some very basic things you can do to stock up and get yourself prepared for an emergency, if not the collapse of civilized society.

Alone

1 February 202231 January 2022 The Portly Politico47 Comments

It’s February, the Month of Love. As such, it’s a good time to talk about relationships and such.

There was some speculation in the comments of this blog a few weeks ago about my relationship status. Alys and Audre were discussing whether or not they should buy garish (they didn’t use that word, but I can only assume) hats for hypothetical nuptials.

Well, as these things do for a sensitive poet-warrior like yours portly, it all came crashing down—not with a bang (giggity), but a whimper.

The Portly Politico

One Southerner's unique, erudite, conservative perspective in a hectic world

Month: February 2022