Tag: Always a Kid for Today

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #2: Love Actually (2003)

The Portly Politico11 Comments

When Ponty submitted this week’s review, he made the submission twice, because the first one was apparently so laced with profanity, he believed the delicate sensibilities of my readers might protest.  So he resubmitted this review, which, while lacking the language of the original (besides one well-placed f-bomb), still retains the vitriolic evisceration this film so richly deserves.

I vaguely remember when this flick hit the theaters.  I was in high school, or just starting college, and the assistant pastor at church apparently watched it with his wife—until he turned it off in disgust.  I’ve never watched it, but from Ponty’s review, I’m glad I didn’t.  The pastor was right, though you’d think a man of the cloth would have exercised a bit more discretion and discernment before popping this worldly tripe into his DVD player.

When we look about at the state of the world today, and especially of romantic relationships, it’s pretty clear they’re in a bad way.  Men and women distrust each other.  Everyone is out to get whatever will make them feel good, no matter what the consequences to themselves or others.  Broken hearts litter the dating scene like shattered glass in an alleyway.

And it’s all in the name of “love.”  Actually, it’s all in the name of lust.  Satan is good at taking something beautiful—Biblical love—and turning into a tawdry, disgraceful knock-off.

This film surely is one of myriad examples of Satan disseminating this perverted view of “love” to the masses.  Ponty’s review, while uproariously funny and biting, also picks up on this important insight, albeit in a far more entertaining and far less preachy manner.

With that, here’s Ponty’s pick, 2003’s Love Actually:

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Lazy Sunday CLV: More Movies, Part XX: Movie Reviews, Part XX

The Portly Politico2 Comments

This weekend marks the 155th edition of Lazy Sunday and the twentieth of looking back at movie reviews.  What’s also fun is that the first and third reviews this weekend are both from the pen of Ponty, with whom I am currently trading reviews of the worst movies of all time.

That’s it for this Sunday’s Ponty sandwich.  Enjoy!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #3: Titanic (1997)

The Portly Politico23 Comments

We’re finally in the top three, and Ponty is in peak vitriolic form with this one.  I can’t imagine how badly his second and first picks will be burnt after seeing this thorough roasting.

I was in middle school when 1997’s Titanic released into theaters.  It was all the girls talked about for months, including how many times they went to go see this film (a tad disconcerting, considering these were twelve-year olds).  I never saw it, and have only seen snippets and chunks on television since then (to my knowledge, I’ve never watched the entire film, at least not in a single sitting).

This film was so huge—such a phenomenon—that I still remember my older brother proclaiming he would not go see it, just so he could say he hadn’t.  He wasn’t always the wisest seventeen-year old, but he apparently had some foresight about this one (he’s a tenured professor now).

I won’t say more.  Ponty rips into this film like that iceberg into the doomed ship.  I’m not sure which is more devastating:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #4: House on Cemetery Hill (2019)

The Portly Politico35 Comments

You can tell we’re really getting into the dregs; Ponty’s review this week is devastating.

As he notes below, it’s no fun going after an indie flick with a low budget.  But there are plenty of low budget filmmakers that get it right, or at least grow as they hone their craft.  Every major director started out doing tiny films on a shoestring.

But sometimes there’s an effort so bad, even the lack of a budget isn’t a valid excuse.  Bad writing, bad acting, bad editing—these can kill a film faster than anything else.  All the quid in the world can’t save a film with this dark triad.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2019’s House on Cemetery Hill:

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Lazy Sunday CXLVI: Friends, Part IX

The Portly Politico2 Comments

It’s been fun going back through the old Supporting Friends Friday posts (well, for me, at least; it seems to be a bit of a dud with readers, but Sunday is always a slow day for traffic), but I’m particularly excited for this weekend’s ninth (!) retrospective.  It includes three of my favorite Internet friends, all on one compact disc:

Cheers to these good friends.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #7: Hatchet (2006)

The Portly Politico7 Comments

The Ponty ‘n’ Portly Schlock-o-Rama rolls, on flipping back to Ponty’s countdown.

I can tell we’re really getting into the dregs already:  Ponty’s review of 2006’s Hatchet makes it sound like the most predictable slasher film ever made, coupled with unsympathetic characters.  The lead was apparently in Dodgeball (2004), but not Justin Long—the other nerdy guy.  I read the review thinking it was Long, which was bad enough.

But enough of my yackin’.  Let’s get on to Ponty’s review:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #8: Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984)

The Portly Politico15 Comments

Ponty keeps the train wreck a-rollin’ with his eighth installment of Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films (here are #9 and #10, in case you missed them).   This week, he’s going for one of the big boys:  1984’s Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom.

I used to take the contrarian position that I liked The Temple of Doom.  As a kid I loved the whole opening sequence—Short Round, riding an inflatable raft to safety, etc.—and who could forget that quasi-Aztec Indian dude pulling the heart out of people’s chests?

Then I grew up and, as is often the case, the rose-tinted glasses of childhood gave way to the jaded monocle of experience.  While I still don’t think the movie is that bad, the love interest is incredibly obnoxious.  And as Ponty points out, the artifact is quite lame compared to THE HOLY GRAIL and THE ARK OF THE COVENANT!

Of course, how are you going to top those?  Unless it’s a piece of the True Cross or Noah’s Ark, there’s nothing else that really competes.

But don’t let me steal Ponty’s thunder.  I don’t want him ripping my still-beating heart from my chubby chest.

Here is Ponty’s review of his eighth worst film, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984):

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Lazy Sunday CLVIII: Ponty’s Posts, Part II

The Portly Politico3 Comments

This Lazy Sunday I’m wrapping up a two-Sunday retrospective of the works of Michael Fahey/39 Pontiac Dream/Always a Kid for Today, or “Ponty” for short.  After his early photographic submissions, Ponty branched out into the world of reviews.  This weekend, it’s my pleasure to feature three of them:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Supporting Friends Friday: Michael Fahey

The Portly Politico9 Comments

The subject of this week’s Supporting Friends Friday is long overdue for some recognition:  writer and mental health carer Michael Fahey.

Regular readers will recognize Michael by one or two different names:  either 39 Pontiac Dream or Always a Kid for Today.  He’s a frequent commenter on this blog, and an increasingly frequent contributor.

Michael also writes extensively at the British conservative blog The Conservative Woman (TCW for short).  That blog is a bit more focused on politics, with an overwhelming focus, at least in recent years, on The Virus.  His writing there is quite good, and it’s not all politics and highway codes that he writes about:  he wrote a great piece about the appeal of what in America would think of as Hallmark Channel Christmas movies.

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Monday Morning Movie Review, Guest Contributor Edition: Wimbledon (2004)

The Portly Politico25 Comments

Regular reader and contributor Pontiac Dream 39—now going by the more cumbersome, but still endearing, “Always a Kid for Today”—surprised me last week with this excellent movie review submission.  It’s a review of the 2004 romantic comedy Wimbledon (2004), starring Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany.  As a Dunstophile, I very much appreciated this review.

It also saved me having to write a review of my own, so that’s always a plus, too.  One less post to fret over—woooooot!  I’ve left the substance of the review unchanged from what Ponty sent me, other than adding hyperlinks to the films he references, and italicizing their titles.

But enough of my rambling.  Here’s Ponty’s/AaKfT’s/Mike’s review of Wimbledon (2004):

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