Monday Morning Movie Review: Runaway (1984)

I love the idea of robots being an everyday part of our lives.  And, yes, before some wag points out that everything we use is probably made in a factory consisting of robots, let me hasten to add that by “robots,” I mean something more along the lines of lovable Star Wars droids, or like a Roomba with more personality—like Rosie from The Jetsons.

As such, I tend to like movies about robots, although that’s a pretty slender subgenre.  One film in that subgenre that I enjoyed, though it was not a good movie, was 1984’s Runaway, starring a mustachioed Tom Selleck as a police officer charged with disabling malfunctioning robots.

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Monday Morning Movie Review, Guest Contributor Edition: The Purge (2013)

It’s always interesting to live during the times depicted in films, and to see how accurate the filmmakers’ predictions were.  There were no Mattel Hoverboards or self-lacing Nikes in 2015, per Back to the Future Part II (1989), but girls were wearing those puffy vests.  New York City isn’t a massive prison colony—at least, not as depicted in Escape from New York (1981).

And in 2022, crime runs rampant all the time, not just one night a year.  Even so, it’s still technically illegal to murder, steal, and pillage (unless you live in California), so 2013’s The Purge isn’t 100% accurate in that regard.

The Purge is one of those films that does what horror/science-fiction do best:  asks unsettling questions about human nature.  In an age where we like to believe violence is rare and brutishThe Purge argues otherwise:  that we need an outlet for our pent-up rage and frustrations, and it should be all let loose on one bloody night.

Would it work?  It’s too horrendous to contemplate—even if one night of mayhem would cure the ills of crime the other 364 days of the year, the cost would not be worth the benefit.  It would also be grossly immoral.

But it does offer an intriguing look into how society functions, and the things we do to protect ourselves.  The film also explores the nature of envy and greed.

Regular contributor Pontiac Dream 39—now Always a Kid for Today, or just “Mike”—offers up another excellent film review.  I’ve largely left it unedited, other than mild style changes, so enjoy his British spellings of words—and his trenchant insights into a disturbing film with a fascinating premise.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Eat Brains Love (2019)

There are a lot zombie movies.  There are quite a few zombie comedy movies.

Slicing that down further—like a machete slicing through the neck of an undead corpse—is the zombie romantic comedy subgenre.  Perhaps the best example of this extremely specific subgenre is 2013’s Warm Bodies, which I believe Helen Liptak recommended I review at some point (I probably should be reviewing that today instead!).  That is, indeed, an excellent, heartwarming (pun intended) film.

Instead, I’m reviewing 2019’s Eat Brains Love (also stylized as Eat, Brains, Love), a far inferior film that, despite some poor acting and writing, is not without its own shuffling charm.

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TBT: Monday Morning Movie Review: Near Dark (1987)

Normally I wouldn’t “throwback” to a Monday Morning Movie Review for a Thursday edition of TBT, but the guys over at RedLetterMedia posted an episode of their show re:View last week about the 1987 cult vampire film Near Dark (1987):

I watched the film on Shudder last summer, but apparently it’s no longer on the platform (according to the RLM guys in the video), and it’s a difficult film to find.

That’s a shame, because it’s one of the best vampire movies I’ve ever seen.  The RLM crew does a great job breaking down the film, and their video is worth watching.

And my review from August 2021 is worth reading.

With that, here is “Monday Morning Movie Review: Near Dark (1987)“:

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Monday Morning Movie Review, Guest Contributor Edition: Wimbledon (2004)

Regular reader and contributor Pontiac Dream 39—now going by the more cumbersome, but still endearing, “Always a Kid for Today”—surprised me last week with this excellent movie review submission.  It’s a review of the 2004 romantic comedy Wimbledon (2004), starring Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany.  As a Dunstophile, I very much appreciated this review.

It also saved me having to write a review of my own, so that’s always a plus, too.  One less post to fret over—woooooot!  I’ve left the substance of the review unchanged from what Ponty sent me, other than adding hyperlinks to the films he references, and italicizing their titles.

But enough of my rambling.  Here’s Ponty’s/AaKfT’s/Mike’s review of Wimbledon (2004):

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Lazy Sunday CLI: More Movies, Part XV: Movie Reviews, Part XV

After three poetical Sundays (here, here, and here), it’s time to get back to the schlock and sleaze you’ve come to expect from yours portly.  That means more movie reviews!

These three flicks date from late October and early November, the beating heart of the so-called “spooky season.”  As such, these films fall nicely into the spooky category.  Two of them are masterpieces, while another is a dud.

Well, per Meat Loaf, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad“:

  • Monday Morning Movie Review: Dracula (1931)” – The local library showed a bunch of the classic Universal Monster Movies in October, and I managed to make it out to 1931’s Dracula.  What a great movie!  It’s easy to see why it was and remains an instant classic.  Highly recommended.
  • Monday Morning Movie Review: Halloween Kills (2021)” – Alternatively, some classics are meant to die young, even if their villains never do.  2021’s Halloween Kills is a lackluster sequel to the 2018 Halloween reboot/sequel/soft reboot/reimagining/etc.  That was a good movie; Halloween Kills was tedious and grating (how many times can random characters shout “Evil Dies Tonight”? before it gets annoying; it might make a good drinking game for those so inclined).  There’s a ham-fisted attempt to work in a message about the violence of mobs, but the movie is ultimately just dull.
  • Monday Morning Movie Review: Wait Until Dark (1967)” – So it’s back to the 1960s, a time when concerns about youthful street hooligans and declining civic virtues (hmm, sounds familiar) wound up on the silver screen.  1967’s Wait Until Dark, starring Audrey Hepburn as a blind woman living with her photographer husband in a basement apartment in New York City, is actually a good movie, and a tense, Hitchcockian thriller.  A couple of thugs and an intimidating Mod harass the poor blind woman, attempting to gaslight her into revealing the location of an antique doll full of drugs.  The setup is a bit ridiculous, but the story itself is taut.  Also highly recommended.

There you have it!  Back to the movies this Lazy Sunday.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: The Wicker Man (1973)

I watch quite a few movies, and most of them come and go without leaving much of a mark.  Indeed, I pretty much only watch movies now, with the exception of a few shows (like Bob’s Burgers).  Some of them probably deserve more attention than I give them, as I’m usually multitasking—poorly—while watching them.

But for every eight duds there is one film that will stick out.  These are usually the ones I write about.  Typically they stick out in a positive way, though Ponty has encouraged me to write some reviews of movies I don’t like (you can read one such review here).  This week’s selection really made an impact on me, and it’s one I heartily recommend.

The flick is 1973’s The Wicker Man, based on a 1967 novel by David Pinner called Ritual.  The film is, perhaps, one of the most Christian (and pro-Christian) movies I have seen in a long time.  I don’t think its creators intended it as a Christian film, but I’ll make the case for it in this review.

That said, if I’m correct, The Wicker Man probably has the most nudity of any Christian film ever made.

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Lazy Sunday CXLVII: More Movies, Part XIV: Movie Reviews, Part XIV

It’s another Lazy Sunday and I’m at a loss for a theme, so how about looking back at some more movie reviews?

Even with writing a review a week, I’m beginning to catch up to the present when it comes to these Lazy Sunday retrospectives.  As such, the day is coming where I won’t be able to rely on this “out” to avoid a modicum of creative thinking.

But that’s Future Port’s problem.  Here are three reviews from October 2021:

  • Monday Morning Movie Review: Lifeforce (1985)” – Outer space energy vampires invade London in the 1980s.  What’s not to love?  I really enjoyed this movie, with its great practical effects and its outrageous premise.  But the premise works.
  • Monday Morning Movie Review: In the Earth (2021)” – In my review for this odd film, I noted that I would not recommend it to the vast majority of viewers.  I still wouldn’t recommend it, but I really enjoyed it.  The first half is much stronger than the psychedelic second half, as you’re trying to figure out what is going on in the world the filmmakers have created.
  • Monday Morning Movie Review: House (1986) and House II: The Second Story (1987)” – I really enjoyed these horror-comedies, especially House, and admire their creature effects.  Regular reader Audre Myers watched them on my recommendation and hated them.  Well, there’s no accounting for taste, especially when my tastes run so low-brow.

Well, that’s it for this Sunday!  Enjoy some tasteless viewing of your own this weekend.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Monday Morning Movie Review: The Skin of the Wolf (Bajo la piel de lobo, 2018)

Christmas Break starts today, and I spent the opening weekend visiting my girlfriend in Athens, Georgia.  We spent a lot of time on the couch; naturally, we got in some movies.

One of them really stuck with me:  the 2018 Spanish film The Skin of the Wolf, or Bajo la piel de lobo.  It is a Spanish language film, but there is very little dialogue, so there are not many subtitles to read.  Indeed, much of the storytelling is visual, and the story is, in part, about the perils of not communicating.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Switchblade Sisters (1975)

I believe I am developing a reputation on this blog for reviewing some really bad movies, or at least lots of B movies.  I don’t resent that reputation; indeed, I embrace it.

Seriously, while playing Ozzy Osbourne’s “Bark at the Moon” at a Christmas gig Friday night (later in the evening John and I started having fun pulling out some incongruously non-Christmas tunes; I also covered “There’s a Light (Over at the Frankenstein Place),” and he played John Denver’s “Calypso“), I caught myself thinking, “I really want to go home and watch a movie about a werewolf at Christmastime.”

I did not do that—I ended up watching Hell’s Kitchen (the television series) with my girlfriend while playing Civilization Revolution on the couch.  But that random little thought should give some insight into my attitude towards B movies:  I love ’em.  The wackier the concept, the better!

That said, today’s movie, 1975’s Switchblade Sisters, is not one I will recommend for anyone but the schlockiest lovers of schlock.  This film is the textbook definition of an exploitation film, as I gather it’s basically an excuse to portray teenage girls as alluringly violent criminals.

What I found compelling about that film, however, was that the world it portrayed—one in which a gang of girls takes on the established male gangs of a crumbling city—is so sad for the urban blight and desperation depicted.  There’s also a fascinating series of gang power struggles that raises the film slightly above its exploitative tone, as newcomer Maggie eventually takes control of the gang, changing their name from the “Dagger Debs” to “The Jezebels.”

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