Monday Morning Movie Review: Spree (2020)

Yours portly is playing catch-up on the blog after a grueling Homecoming Week at work.  Apologies for delayed and/or missing posts lately.  —TPP

I’m not a huge fan of “found footage” films, most of which are just knock-offs of The Blair Witch Project (1999).  Of course, I see the appeal for studios:  these flicks are cheap to make, and offer (at least in theory) a more visceral experience.  There are exceptions (such as today’s film), but found footage flicks typically devolve into lots of shaky camera work and improbably perfectly placed cameras that always seem to capture the exact video and audio that they need to tell the story.

Naturally, that’s because it’s all directed and staged, but it reveals the lie inherent in these films.  Far from being “found,” the footage is actually quite curated—but in a sloppy manner to create the illusion of us just picking up someone’s perfectly edited (in-camera!) VHS tape.

Anyone who has ever had the misfortune of reviewing security camera footage will know that they rarely capture anything worthwhile.  The footage is too grainy to identify anyone positively; audio is lacking or non-existent; footage gets overwritten with new footage quickly.  The frustration for law-abiding citizens, of course, is that security cameras never seem to get the right angle to catch criminals, but always keeps an eye on the rest of us.  CCTV might help keep down crime, but it really just ends up monitoring the rest of us.  It’s the definition of anarcho-tyranny.

But I digress.  I recently watched a good found footage film, 2020’s Spree.  It’s a horrific dark comedy, mostly because it shows the extreme toll of living in a terminally-online world, in which shallow and hallow people gauge their self-worth in terms of likes, impressions, and reactions.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Bloody Oranges (2021)

I’m not typically one for “trigger warnings,” but this week’s film is hard to watch.  I’ve seen some pretty foul stuff in all the crappy B-grade horror flicks I consume, and I have, perhaps sadly, become immune to most shocking material.  Just writing that sentence made me feel convicted… dang.

But my crushing Pentecostal guilt can wait until after this film review.  This flick, the 2021 French black comedy Bloody Oranges (or Oranges sanguines in French) possesses some truly difficult scenes to endure.  I found myself watching through my fingers at a couple of points in the film.

It’s an incredible movie, a movie I will heavily discourage most readers from watching.  My parents, my aunts, Audredon’t watch itRead some reviews if your curiosity is piqued, but don’t watch itPonty, you could probably handle it, even though I know how much you hate the frogs.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Portly’s Top Ten Best Films: #10: Better Off Dead (1985)

After nearly five months of going through the worst films, Ponty and I have decided to launch a list of what we consider the best films of all time.

I don’t know about Ponty’s list, but for me, I’m treating this list partially as my favorite films of all time.  As much as I love writing movie reviews, I’m no professional critic, so what I consider to be the “best” might also just happen to coincide heavily with what I consider to be my “favorite” movies.  I’m sure there are technical and artistic grounds on which films could be deemed “better” than others, or the “best” compared to other films, but I’m not necessarily diving into those flicks.

Which brings me to this week’s pick for the #10 ten slot (although, honestly, it could be higher; ironically, it’s here at #10 just because I watched it recently):  the 1985 absurdist romantic comedy Better Off Dead:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Heathers (1989)

Today marks the end of summertime fun and the beginning of work.  Classes for the school year won’t start for another nine days, but I’ll be filling out various bits of legalese paperwork and taking the same bloodborne pathogens quiz I’ve taken every August for the paste decade.

In the spirit of beginning another year of academic rigmarole and inspirational mind-molding, I decided to review the 1989 dark comedy Heathers, starring Wynona Rider and Christian Slater as two oddball teens who declare war against the titular popular clique that rules the school.

I first watched Heathers on Hulu back in 2019 with the girl I was dating at the time.  I remember it being far darker than I anticipated, and found the second half of the film unpleasant.  I usually enjoy unsettling movies, but tonally it seemed “off.”

I re-watched the film a couple of weekends ago on The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs, and must substantially revise my original assessment of the film.

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Lazy Sunday CXXV: More Movies VII: Movie Reviews, Part VII

Well, tomorrow I head back to the real world—at least, as close to the real world as teaching gets—and the glorious freedom of summer ends.  I’ll likely spend today playing piano at church and watching crummy movies on Shudder.

That’s kind of a metaphor for the conundrum of summer vacation:  you get two months of completely unstructured time handed to you, then blow it all watching B-movies and taking naps.  I do think I had a more productive summer than usual, but many of my hoped-for projects—as usual—are incomplete, even un-started.

Oh, well.  It was still a good summer.  I loved living like a retiree for two months.

Anyway, on to the flicks!:

  • Monday Morning Movie Review: Still (2018)” – This movie is about a magical water source deep in the Appalachian Mountains that grants eternal youth to two jaded outlaws.  A young woman stumbles upon it, and is drawn into their weird world.
  • Monday Morning Movie Review: Suburban Gothic (2014)” – This flick is a fun, quirky comedy-horror.  The protagonist is a dude who looks and dresses like a gay man, but is just an eccentric weirdo.  When some Mexican contractors dig up a young girl’s grave and steal her necklace, some supernatural shenanigans start to go down.  Needless to say, this movie—which is only seven years old—could not be made today.
  • Monday Morning Movie Review: The Housemaid (2016)” – I very much enjoyed this Vietnamese-language film, which takes place during France’s failed attempt to hold onto its southeast Asian colony in the 1950s.  A young woman takes a job at a notoriously haunted rubber plantation and begins an affair with the wounded French captain and plantation owner.  The flick is all about revenge and colonialism, but don’t let that second point spoil it for you—it’s quite good.

That’s it for this Lazy Sunday, my last Sunday as a free man until June 2022.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: She’s Allergic to Cats (2016)

Regular reader and Nebraska Energy Observer contributor Audre Myers frequently tells me that I am offering a valuable service by describing movies people should not see (if you agree with Audre, I take donations).  This Monday’s film, 2016’s She’s Allergic to Cats, likely qualifies, and I would like to apply it towards my contributions to humanity.

The description for the movie on Shudder.com reads thusly:

A lonely dog groomer in Hollywood searches for love, but his true passion is making weird video art that nobody understands. His menial routine spirals out of control when he meets the girl of his dreams, crossing boundaries between reality and fantasy as he dives deeper into his video experiments.

I guffawed as soon as I read the line “making weird video art that nobody understands.”  That sold me on the flick, which I actually found enjoyable, if baffling.

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