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SubscribeStar Saturday: Cruel Christian Women

The Portly Politico44 Comments

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I’m officially announcing my retirement from an ill-fated career of attempting to date single Christian women over 30.  I gave it my best shot, but this demographic consists of some of the most broken, spiritually confused, and cruel people I have ever encountered.

To be clear:  “not all Christian women over 30 are like that”; indeed, the ones that have been married and have kids are ironically among the best of that group.  After all, they’ve fulfilled their God-Given function:  they’ve birthed and reared children.  Something snaps in most women if they haven’t given birth by 30 or 35; they truly become unhinged, and it manifests itself in a number of unpleasant ways.

But childless “Christian” women over thirty are particularly awful.  Here is the pattern I’ve noticed:

  • Woman spends her twenties riding The Carousel
  • Woman experiences major conversion or reversion experience right as she is hitting The Wall and her sexual marketplace value (SMV) is starting to crater
  • Woman’s newfound “faith”—and plenty of man-bashing/woman-affirming pastors—convinces woman that she is a “pearl of great price” (which doesn’t even make sense biblically) or “more precious than rubies,” giving her an inflated sense of her value in the dating pool
  • Woman demands wealthy, physically fit, tall, aggressively-masculine-but-gentle-as-a-lamb man with the desert-sculpted physique of Jesus on the Cross because she’s a “holy princess” or some such nonsense
  • Woman brutally critiques any weaknesses or shortcomings in a potential partner and justifies it as helpful honesty and as a “guarding her heart“
  • Woman likely still sleeps around with Chads, chalking it up to “struggling with her faith”; woman continues to reject decent, normal Christian men
  • Woman occasionally develops a weird, Christian-adjacent mutation, such as being too interested in Judaism or insisting on only eating “organic” foods; this mutation becomes the centerpiece of her personality and she demands total adherence to it as a qualification, not understanding things like “compromise” and “reasonableness” exist

The delusion among this demographic is through the roof.  Instead of their alleged “faith” encouraging introspection, humility, and gratitude, it manifests itself as a perverted sense of self-worth.

The Blood of Jesus Washes away our sins, but it does not make us sexier.

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44 thoughts on “SubscribeStar Saturday: Cruel Christian Women”

  1. The best way to find a partner? Stop looking and she’ll find you.

    This comment, I’m not aiming specifically at you, but when a bloke looks for a potential, women can smell it, like a sort of desperation. Being aloof doesn’t work either. Just get on with life and the perfect woman will find you. 👍

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  2. I’m not a christian woman, but I am childfree by choice. I hope that does not make me awful in various ways. Still, I feel you. The dating world is harsh apparently and not just for women.

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  3. We have male several male friends in their 30s and 40s and most have totally given up on. It’s sad, but they see just what you’ve observed. Women spend a decade rising the “c0ck carousel” until they realize they’ve “hit the wall” and it’s time to settle down, so decide to “save themself for marriage”. That’s fine but, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

    The “delusion calculator” is wild! I bet it’s <1% for most of the women you’re describing. Dr. Zeus’ theory is women get ultra-picky and reject men out of fear of being rejected, especially when they lose their attractiveness and realize there isn’t much else to offer. I think he may be right.

    That said, the advice he gives his friends is to find a quirky woman–an high-functioning autist who marches to the beat of her own drum and hasn’t quite figured out why people make no sense to her. What does this look like? Shy and reserved, mostly, but gushing with knowledge and enthusiasm when talking about a favorite topic or hobby. Very limited dating history, even into her 20s/30s, because she can’t read social cues/recognize flirting. I don’t know easy or practical it is, but the unintentional strategy worked out well for him!

    Good luck out there!

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      • I want that for you, too! Good luck out there!

        I feel like the world has changed so much even in just the last decade, but the one tip I would offer (which may be taboo nowadays) is that it’s okay to approach a woman engaged in a solo activity. Looking back, strange men would semi-regularly sit down at my table and ask about the book I was reading, and I was always receptive because, well, I liked books, and didn’t realize they were making a move. No one ever persisted. So, cluelessness doesn’t necessarily equate to rejection. It’s probably a finer line than I realize and women can be cruel. But, at least for me, before Dr. Zeus, I wished men would have been more direct. I honestly though they were only interested in the book. LOL

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        • Thanks, Erin! The point of the post is not so much to complain about my dating woes, although that is certainly an element of it, but rather to point out a disturbing trend I see among Christian women specifically. The sad thing is, these ostensibly Christian women are pretty much the same as other women, but then they develop these very mean-spirited and delusional attitudes and expectations that they justify and uphold with a twisted version of Christianity. My larger concern is that these women are both practicing a false teaching and are alienating good Christian men (indeed, they’re also alienating good Christian women, and even just people are curious about the faith but are turned off by these superior attitudes).

          Christ Taught us humility, not prosperity gospel.

          I do love the cold approach. I’ve started practicing it more this summer, although I’ve only really done it twice: https://theportlypolitico.com/2024/06/29/cold-approaching/

          It is a great way to talk to people, though, and I always figure that, even if it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s a chance to enjoy a pleasant interaction with someone. I also suspect that many women want these approaches.

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          • Yes, I’ve heard of these types of “Christian” women from some of Dr. Zeus’ divorced friends. It really is disturbing–they’re up on their high horse looking down on all prospects when they’ve imperfect, too. I can’t imagine butting heads with that in the real world!

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            • It’s frustrating. I’ve dated a few of them, and I regret it.

              I just wish people could exercise some basic kindness and reasonableness with one another.

              That said, my dating life is going well overall. I just wanted to point out that Christian women need to check themselves, because they are being a horrible witness for Christ at the moment, and I don’t think they realize. I’m not always the best witness—see also my anti-Boomer rants—but I at least recognize where I need to improve and what my shortcomings are.

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  4. “man-bashing/woman-affirming pastors” – that has zero place in the church! You have nailed this down very well, Tyler. These reasons are why I have not attempted to date since 2016 and the last divorce. I find it very difficult to trust women these days.

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  5. Oh ugh, I couldn’t imagine having to be in the dating game nowadays! Definitely Covid hasn’t made things easier !
    I had no dating experience until I met my boyfriend in my mid 20s. He is 7 years older than me, but neither had he. And 9 years later, we are still together!

    Personally, I don’t like the advice of “it happens when it supposed to happen”. You can’t remain entirely passive about it, I think. But dating apps are most likely not going to work.

    Have you ever considered a trip that is specifically designed for a group of single people? I have heard success stories about those 🙂

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    • Depending on where you live or what your friends are like, dating can be the number one topic for some. Personally, I don’t get it. Why should dating be an issue for other people?

      I’m glad I was never surrounded by the type of people who ask at every turn, are you seeing someone? Dating? Married? If I was, I’d answer the same way every time – none of your business.

      Tina and I were seeing other people when we met. Neither of us were looking for anyone but when we realised how much we had in common, it just clicked. You never know, Tyler, the girl of your dreams could already be in your life, as a close friend or even an acquaintance. You might have the same good fortune I had and meet her on your professional journey.

      Whatever the case, when you find her, you’ll know.

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    • Cheers, Andrea! Same story here!! I met my boyfriend a few weeks before my 25th birthday, and had been on four one-off dates before him. He’s 7 years older, with also very limited dating experience, and we’re still happily partners 11 years in. It wasn’t planned, but it’s been a great formula for success.

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