Tag: navel-gazing

The Joys of Fasting

The Portly Politico12 Comments

Yours portly got very portly over the last year.  I struggle against two of life’s greatest delicacies:  food and women.  Without getting into too many specifics, the untimely implosion of involvement with a member of the latter led to a self-drugging with the former.  Combined with the cold winter months, when all I want to do in the evenings is eat an entire pizza while watching horror movies, yours portly’s weight ballooned from around 235.5 pounds to a disgracefully fat 271.8 pounds in a matter of six months or so.

Being morbidly obese is certainly on-brand for this larger-than-life blog (and the chunky personality behind it), but it’s not exactly good for mental and physical health.  I’d like for readers to continue to have something to read from me, so after months of overindulging, I’m finally taking steps to right the ship and throw some of the blubber overboard.

My solution is one I followed last summer, when I found myself in a similarly bechunked state (though not nearly as bechunked as I am now):  intermittent fasting.

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Phone it in Friday XXXIX: YouTube Roundup I

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Thanks to the gentle prodding of Audre Myers, I’ve decided to upload videos actively to my YouTube channel.  I’ve had this channel for almost fifteen years (apparently), but only used it to upload a short video from the video game Spore in 2008 and some footage of my old group Brass to the Future playing “The Stars and Stripes Forever” on Independence Day 2010.

I’ll mostly upload original music.  There are plenty of songs I love to cover, but uploading those covers to YouTube without obtaining permission from the original songwriters is technically a violation of copyright law.  I’m a big believer in the protection of intellectual property, and I’d rather not run afoul of the YouTube police, at least not for something legitimate.

That said, readers are welcome to cover my tunes, just let me know about it.

So, I thought I’d periodically post a digest of some recent uploads for readers who want to dive deeper into my music—for free!

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May 2023 Bandcamp Friday

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Well, here we are again:  another Bandcamp Friday, which means I hope you will consider pitching in a few bucks to buy my music—or my second book!  It’s the last Bandcamp Friday until August, so if you want to support my work, today’s the best day to do so for awhile.

It’s also Teacher Appreciation Week.  What better way to show your appreciation than by buying my awesome merch?

The first Friday of a bunch of months in 2023—February, March, April, May, August, September, October, November, and December—will feature this pro-indie music observance, a day on which Bandcamp waives its usual 15% commission on sales.

In other words, when you buy my music, almost 100% of it goes to me, instead of almost 85%.

Currently, my entire discography of ten releases is $9.50, a savings of 45%, which is not bad for ten releases.  That’s $0.95 per release—not too shabby!  To purchase the full discography, click on any release, and you’ll see the option to purchase all of them.

I’m also selling all of my paintings for $10, with free shipping in the United States, regardless of how many you purchase.  They’re one of kind, so once a painting is purchased, it’s gone.

I’ve also joined Society6, a website that lets artists upload their designs, which can they be printed onto all manner of products (like this throw pillow, or this duvet cover).  Why not get a bookbag with a mouthy droid on it?

I only get 10% of the sales made there, but some of the stuff looks really good—I really want these notebooks with my “Desert View” painting on it (which again, is just $10 for the one-and-only original).  Some of them are straight-up goofy, like this church doodle I made celebrating the presidential pardon of Roger Stone (the description for the piece is “Anger your friends with this doodle commemorating the presidential pardon of America’s most dapper political operative“).

I have a few new paintings from my highly unsuccessful foray into selling at the Lamar Egg Scramble, and I have two new doodles for just $5 each:  Robo Talk 23 No. 1 and No. 2.  I’m also working on quite a few more doodles for Society6, which will also end up here.

My first book, The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot, is $10 in paperback, and just $5 on Kindle.

My second and newest book, Arizonan Sojourn, South Carolinian Dreams: And Other Adventures, is $20 in paperback and $10 on Kindle.

Thanks again for your support!

Happy Friday!

—TPP

SubscribeStar Saturday: Scramblin’

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Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Last Saturday was the annual Lamar Egg Scramble.  It also marked my first foray into the world of arts and crafts selling, as I obtained a vendor spot to attempt to sell some of my paintings.

I managed to land a vendor spot in exchange for playing the Taste of Lamar, so I was able to market test my paintings in a festival setting.  While I’ve made a few private sales to family and friends, I’ve not had much success selling my paintings online.

Finally, I had the opportunity to discover if I’m just a delusional hack, or if there actually is a market for amateurish, Primitivist paintings of squids and landscapes.

It was an abject failure.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

Phone it in Friday XXXVI: On the Road, Festival News

The Portly Politico4 Comments

I’m chaperoning a trip to Washington, D.C. for my school’s ninth and tenth graders, and we’ve been going nonstop since about 5 AM on Wednesday, 29 March 2023.  Indeed, I’m writing this blog post on the bus to our nation’s capital.  The bus is equipped with WiFi, which is one of the more decadent instances of modern travel amenities I’ve enjoyed.

After the madness (and awesomeness) of my school’s annual Spring Concert (more on that tomorrow), it’s good to hit the road for a few days.  I was not looking forward to slogging through the rest of the week after the high of the concert.  That’s not to mention the burn of it:  according to my fitness app, I burned over 1900 calories and walked a little over seven miles throughout the course of the day.

There’s been a great deal of walking on this trip, so the burn keeps going.  I haven’t been able to get in my morning run, but the perambulation to historic sites has made up the difference in terms of caloric burn.

I’ll have more details soon.  The other big event is the Lamar Egg Scramble, which kicks off this afternoon, the bulk of which is tomorrow.  I have some big (for me) news in regards to the ol’ Scramble.

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TBT: More Little Paintings: Hearts and an Octopus

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My passion for bizarre, Primitivist artwork has been reignited of late, thanks in part to my setting up a hokey artist page on Society6.  I’ve had a great deal of fun uploading some of my paintings and doodles as designs to the site, and the idea that someone could purchase a duvet cover with a doodle of Roger Stone saying, “MAGA, baby!” tickles me to no end.

I’m also toying with the idea of getting a stall at the upcoming Egg Scramble Jamboree here in Lamar—and, later in the year, getting on at the South Carolina Bigfoot Festival in Westminster, South Carolina—to see if I can, y’know, actually sell some of these paintings.  If I try and fail, then I’ll know it’s little more than a self-indulgent hobby that I can keep to myself.

So I thought I’d throwback to a post from last March, one in which I showcase some of my wacky paintings.

With that, here is 1 March 2022’s “More Little Paintings: Hearts and an Octopus“:

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TBT: Little Paintings

The Portly Politico2 Comments

Astute readers may have picked up on my love for little things:  bric-a-brac, LEGOs, short piano pieces, etc.  In that regard, I am like a little old lady with her Precious Moments or Hummel figurines.

To self-indulgently psychoanalyze myself, I think this love the miniature comes, in part, from my own girthful size.  I’ve always been big (and, frequently and currently, fat), so there’s something appealing about disappearing into a tiny little world.  My brothers know that I am exceptionally good at disappearing during family social functions—usually to read a book or to take a nap in some forgotten corner of whatever relative’s house we’re visiting.

Even in fantasy roleplaying games (RPGs for my n00b friends), I like to play small rogues—halfling thieves, Wood Elf bards, etc.  That stealthy, crafty quality appeals to me, especially in a compact package.

Regardless of why I like small things, I do.  That is certainly the case with the arts; besides piano miniatures, I like short stories, and blogging is, in many ways, short-form essay writing.

That extends to painting, too, and a collection of small canvasses that I slowly turned into a substantial body of amateurish works.

With that, here is 22 February 2022’s “Little Paintings“:

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TBT: Composing Humorous Miniatures

The Portly Politico6 Comments

There’s something about these winter doldrums that always get my creative juices flowing, and I’ve embarked upon a new composing project, which I wrote about briefly last week.  Piano miniatures—and mine are mini-miniatures—are a fun way to attempt to express a musical idea in a very brief format, much like “flash fiction” or very short stories.

Last year I penned P​é​ch​é​s d​’​â​ge moyen and a short sequel, then my composing pen laid fallow for much of the rest of the year.  I’ve sketched out a few short pieces that will eventually (probably, maybe) make it into Pdam III, but nothing with the drive and focus of the original and its shorter follow-up.

Then I hit upon the idea of taking the small red tardy slips that students bring to class and composing short pieces on that very small physical medium.  I now have a small stack, and it makes for a fun way of composing first drafts.

With that mini-project in the works—it’s perfect because I can take five minutes even on a busy day to jot down a few bars of music—I thought it might be fun to look back to the origins of what would become P​é​ch​é​s d​’​â​ge moyen.  As my red tardy slips project suggests, there are frequently “arbitrary and absurd sources for inspiration.”

Well, at least for yours portly.

With that, here is 8 February 2022’s ” Composing Humorous Miniatures“:

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A Very Portly Valentine’s Day Celebration

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It’s Valentine’s Day, a day for love and cuddling—or, perhaps, for sobbing gently while eating doughnuts over the kitchen sink.  In this day and age, there is no wrong answer.

Well, there is one wrong answer:  not picking up Electrock Retrospective, Volume II: Technological Romance—celebrating its tenth anniversary today—for the very romantic price of $2.14.

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TBT: Alone

The Portly Politico11 Comments

Last February I found myself in a rather discouraging place—dumped and dejected, wiling away my time with designer LEGO sets and DiGiorno pizza.  Unbeknownst to yours portly at the time, I’d embark on two relationships:  a short-lived, doomed-from-the-start imbroglio with a hyper-progressive, anxiety-ridden schoolmarm, then what I thought might be “It.”  It didn’t last, and I found myself in a similar mindset around Christmastime.

Ironically, watching It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) helped immensely.  George Bailey’s frustrations and struggles very much mirrored my own (except that he resented his big family and happy marriage), and I understood his character’s despair and broken dreams palpably.

I’m in a better place—no need to send Clarence—but some of those enduring frustrations still hold fast.  I’m not nearly as bitter about it as I was when I wrote this piece, but no amount of frozen pizza can mend a broken heart.

With that, here is 1 February 2022’s “Alone“:

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