Midweek Myers Movie Review: The Lion in Winter (1968)

10 August 20225 August 2022 The Portly Politico60 Comments

As Ponty and I have been going through the worst movies ever, it seems like a palette cleanser is in order. Too much of a good thing is a problem, but too much of a bad thing is probably worse (by definition, I suppose it is!).

Thanks to good ol’ Audre Myers, we have a reminder that plenty of good—indeed, great—things have been imprinted on celluloid. Not every film is a woke stinker with a strident “strong female character” who lacks any flaws or shortcomings.

Indeed, this film demonstrates how really to write a “strong female character”—and it was released in 1968! I thought those philistines were still dragging women to their caves by the hair back then. Well, they don’t come much stronger than Eleanor of Aquitaine; portrayed by the hyper-patrician Katharine Hepburn, 1968 Hollywood would run circles around Brie Larson.

Well, enough of my pontificating. Here’s Audre Myers’s—our own “strong female character” here at TPP—and her exquisite review of 1968’s The Lion in Winter:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #5: Jungle Cruise (2021)

13 June 202210 June 2022 The Portly Politico6 Comments

We’re cruising right along into the second half of the long countdown of worst films. The ball is back in Ponty’s court, and he’s picked a real doozy to mark the halfway point.

Is there anything wokery hasn’t poisoned with its foolishness? Apparently, Ponty’s pick for #5, 2021’s Jungle Cruise, suggests not. A movie based on a theme park ride worked before for Disney, but that was a bit of a fluke; taking an even more obscure ride, then adding in loads of anachronistic presentism, was hoping for too much, even for The Mouse.

One of our regular readers and commenters, Alys Williams, is always wanting me to review flicks with bonnets and Biedermeier, but even those films are jumping on the identity bandwagon. I have no problem with black people in movies—I mean, who doesn’t love Blade (1998)?—but a black English queen is too much. Why? Because it’s not historically accurate!

Sure, historical fiction can embellish some details here and there, but we’re really straining suspension of disbelief when a Nigerian portrays a Viking. Imagine casting Chris Hemsworth as an African Pygmy—he’d stick out like a sore giant.

But I digress. On with Ponty’s hilarious review of 2021’s Jungle Cruise:

Guest Contribution: Audre Myers’s Review of Stranger Things

1 June 202229 May 2022 The Portly Politico162 Comments

I can now proudly attest that the esteemed Audre Myers, perhaps the one figure at the epicenter of my personal blogosphere, has contributed her first piece to The Portly Politico. What a treat! Even the way that Audre contacted me about her contribution is quintessential Audre: she framed it as giving me a day off from the blog. Very sweet!

I’m happy to give a day—or weeks!—over to Audre’s writing. Her own blog, Words on the Word, is a lovely daily devotional; I recommend it highly.

Audre also shares my love of the spooky, the weird, the unexplained. One of the first ways I became acquainted with Audre’s interests were her posts about Bigfoot over at Nebraska Energy Observer. Here was someone writing with depth and seriousness—not conspiratorial goofiness—about Sasquatch!

That love of spooky weirdness is perfect for Audre’s contribution this week: her broad review of the series Stranger Things, one of my personal favorite series as well. The fourth season has just hit Netflix, so Audre offers up her take on the series as a whole—without giving away any of the fun plot points!

So, for the four of you out there that still haven’t seen Stranger Things, here’s Audre’s excellent review of and recommendation for the series:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: #7: Hatchet (2006)

9 May 20222 May 2022 The Portly Politico14 Comments

The Ponty ‘n’ Portly Schlock-o-Rama rolls, on flipping back to Ponty’s countdown.

I can tell we’re really getting into the dregs already: Ponty’s review of 2006’s Hatchet makes it sound like the most predictable slasher film ever made, coupled with unsympathetic characters. The lead was apparently in Dodgeball (2004), but not Justin Long—the other nerdy guy. I read the review thinking it was Long, which was bad enough.

But enough of my yackin’. Let’s get on to Ponty’s review:

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films: Dead Snow 2 (Død snø 2; 2014)

28 March 202222 March 2022 The Portly Politico24 Comments

Good old Ponty is keeping the lights on at this blog with his submissions. They are welcome at a particularly busy season for yours portly, and especially after traveling to Indiana this past weekend for my older brother’s wedding.

Ponty and I share a love of horror movies, but especially a love of bad movies generally. I tend to be much more forgiving of bad movies, as many of them possess entertainment value in their own right (a premise so crazy the film is interesting, even if the parts don’t fit together; or a film that is “so-bad-it’s-good”). I’m also just not that discerning—or, perhaps, I just like trash.

Whatever the case might be, Ponty doesn’t share my ecumenical approach to films. He calls a spade a spade—and a pile of crap a pile of crap.

As such, he’s submitted the first of a list of ten films he regards as the worst films of all time. I’m dubbing this gloriously long miniseries Ponty’s Top Ten Worst Films. The tentative plan is to post these alternating Mondays in lieu of the usual Monday Morning Movie Review from yours portly. The non-Ponty weeks will be my list of the worst films of all time.l

I’ve kept all of Ponty’s colorful commentary intact; I’ve just added in years for the films, and italicized the titles. I’ve also provided some useful hyperlinks for those looking to learn more about the subject of his ire.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of Dead Snow 2 (Død snø 2, 2014). I don’t know if this is his tenth worst film or his first worst film; either way, he makes it sound pretty bad:

Monday Morning Movie Review, Guest Contributor Edition: The Purge (2013)

7 March 20222 March 2022 The Portly Politico68 Comments

It’s always interesting to live during the times depicted in films, and to see how accurate the filmmakers’ predictions were. There were no Mattel Hoverboards or self-lacing Nikes in 2015, per Back to the Future Part II (1989), but girls were wearing those puffy vests. New York City isn’t a massive prison colony—at least, not as depicted in Escape from New York (1981).

And in 2022, crime runs rampant all the time, not just one night a year. Even so, it’s still technically illegal to murder, steal, and pillage (unless you live in California), so 2013’s The Purge isn’t 100% accurate in that regard.

The Purge is one of those films that does what horror/science-fiction do best: asks unsettling questions about human nature. In an age where we like to believe violence is rare and brutish, The Purge argues otherwise: that we need an outlet for our pent-up rage and frustrations, and it should be all let loose on one bloody night.

Would it work? It’s too horrendous to contemplate—even if one night of mayhem would cure the ills of crime the other 364 days of the year, the cost would not be worth the benefit. It would also be grossly immoral.

But it does offer an intriguing look into how society functions, and the things we do to protect ourselves. The film also explores the nature of envy and greed.

Regular contributor Pontiac Dream 39—now Always a Kid for Today, or just “Mike”—offers up another excellent film review. I’ve largely left it unedited, other than mild style changes, so enjoy his British spellings of words—and his trenchant insights into a disturbing film with a fascinating premise.

Monday Morning Movie Review, Guest Contributor Edition: Wimbledon (2004)

21 February 202216 February 2022 The Portly Politico50 Comments

Regular reader and contributor Pontiac Dream 39—now going by the more cumbersome, but still endearing, “Always a Kid for Today”—surprised me last week with this excellent movie review submission. It’s a review of the 2004 romantic comedy Wimbledon (2004), starring Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany. As a Dunstophile, I very much appreciated this review.

It also saved me having to write a review of my own, so that’s always a plus, too. One less post to fret over—woooooot! I’ve left the substance of the review unchanged from what Ponty sent me, other than adding hyperlinks to the films he references, and italicizing their titles.

But enough of my rambling. Here’s Ponty’s/AaKfT’s/Mike’s review of Wimbledon (2004):

Son of Sonnet: A Frozen Ballad

29 December 202128 December 2021 The Portly Politico8 Comments

It’s nearly the end of 2021, and while it’s technically winter, it’s been unseasonably warm here in South Carolina. Indeed, “unseasonably” is a bit of a misnomer, and it is often hot and humid on Christmas (as it was this year). I vividly remember playing football on New Year’s Day in shorts and a t-shirt.

Nevertheless, it’s winter, and January and February tend to be the coldest months here. We’ve already had quite a bit of frosty weather (though no snow, which is rare as it is, but especially rare before January), so we’re fully into the wintry hygge.

A couple of weeks ago, regular contributor Son of Sonnet (subscribe to his SubscribeStar page here) put out an invitation for fans to submit themes for some new poems. I proposed “Winter coziness“—’tis the season—and my Telegram buddy and fellow SoS fan WS responded “I was going to go dark, seasonal affective disorder.“

That led to my compromise theme: “The dualism of winter: warm coziness and dark despair.” I probably meant “duality” instead of “dualism,” but Son delivered “A Frozen Ballad,” combining the two aspects of winter into a ballad all about nostalgia, hope (and hopelessness), and trusting in God in our darkest moments.

The poem has received some positive feedback on Son’s Telegram page and on the esoteric Telegram chatroom Occam’s Razor Chat, which WS created as a space for escaping politics online, instead dedicating the chat to exploring the unusual, interesting, and supernatural.

Now, with Son’s blessing, I’d like to share “A Frozen Ballad” here:

Guest Contributor: 39 Pontiac Dream on Traveller’s Tales

22 December 202121 December 2021 The Portly Politico40 Comments

As an early Christmas gift, we have a contribution from regular reader and occasional contributor 39 Pontiac Dream. Ponty typically contributes photographs (see here, here, and here), but he’s also quite an accomplished writer in his own right. He contributes posts to the English blog The Conservative Woman, a favorite among my readers.

That said, TWC hasn’t always been eager to print Ponty’s video game-related writing. Their high-brow editorial and submission standards are The Portly Politico‘s gain: now we get to read Ponty’s writing on video games here!

I’m also excited to have more guest contributors. We’ve heard from photog in the past, as well as newcomer Son of Sonnet (read his Gemini Sonnets here, here, here, and here). Now we have good ol’ Ponty pitching in.

As the blog evolves and its audience grows, I am hoping to host more guest contributors. The pace of daily blogging has been difficult the past few months with work and other commitments, so having some other writers share the load certainly helps.

And, of course, I’d love to be able to compensate these writers (though Ponty has told me several times that getting published is enough for him). Your subscriptions to my SubscribeStar page have made some minimal patronage possible; please consider a subscription or donation to keep things going and growing!

Regardless, Ponty has written a very detailed mini-history-cum-review of British game developer Traveller’s Tales, which has published a number of LEGO games. Ponty and his wife are avid gamers, and Ponty seems to have a soft spot for these games.

I have not made any major changes to Ponty’s submitted text, other than adding an apostrophe to “Traveller’s.” I’ve even preserved the charming “u” in “favourite,” to make sure the piece preserves its distinctly British flavo(u)r.

But enough of my yakkin’. Here’s Ponty:

English Sunrise

9 November 20214 November 2021 The Portly Politico7 Comments

My good online friend and photographic contributor 39 Pontiac Dreamer has sent in some lovely pictures of an English sunrise. To my discredit, he e-mailed me these photographs two months ago, and I am only now finding the time to post them, after repeated apologies, delays, equivocations, and plain excuses.

It’s been so long now, it escapes me what the genesis of these pictures were. I believe Ponty and I were carrying on a conversation in the comment section of a post about rising early in the morning, and that it’s the best time to get work done.

Regardless, here are some gorgeous photographs of a hazy English morning, just as the mighty sun peeks itself over the horizon:

The Portly Politico

One Southerner's unique, erudite, conservative perspective in a hectic world

Tag: guest post