Category: Elections

Election Day in America

The Portly Politico3 Comments

Well, here it is—Election Day.  Millions of ballots have already been cast, but yours portly believes in going to the polls on the day itself.  God Willing, I’ll be there casting my ballot for Donald J. Trump about thirty minutes after this post is published.

I don’t have much to say, but I am cautiously optimistic.  Kamala Harris has all the appeal of a wet blanket that slept its way into power.  Donald Trump is like a suave gorilla caring for its young.  In other words, if you’re voting for Kamala Harris, you’re either an HR czarina or an aggressively gay man, and the last time I checked (note:  I haven’t), even gay men prefer suave gorillas.

Or, at the very least, you’re spiritually on the side of the HR czarinas if you support Harris.  I’ve never seen an election so starkly highlight the growing divide between single women and the rest of the country as much as this one.  Not even Shrillary in 2016 managed to combine schoolmarmishness with cringe-inducing cackling at this level.

I’m not focusing on the substantive issues at this point because a.) everyone has already made up their minds by this point and b.) Kamala Harris is entirely lacking in substance.

But life was good under President Trump the first time, and I suspect it will be again.  His stance on tariffs increasingly makes the free trade consensus of the last hundred years look foolish, the economists be damned.  Closing our borders economically is key to restoring American manufacturing; so is closing our border physically and legally.  We have got to clamp down on illegal and legal immigration.  I don’t care if I have to pay $40 for a shirt; by God, I want it made in America by Americans.  It’ll be the best shirt I’ve ever worn and will last a decade.

Regardless, if you’re on the fence or don’t think it matters, stop being a fig leaf and go vote for Trump.  Drive up that national vote!  Make this bad boy too big to steal.

I’ll be up late (hopefully not too late) watching the returns, and might do some Tweeting/X-ing on X.  Consider “tuning” in for my doughy reflections.

God Bless America, and God Bless Donald J. Trump!

—TPP

SubscribeStar Saturday: The Defenestration of Walz

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Pickup my newest release: Spooky Season III!  Use promo code spooky to take an additional 20% off all purchases on Bandcamp!  Code expires at 11:59 PM UTC on Thursday, 31 October 2024.

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Yours portly is late to the party with this one, but, hey, is it ever truly too late to celebrate a full-scale immolation?

Or, as the title indicates, a defenestration, which is just a fancy way of saying, “throwing someone out of a window.”  That is very much how the vice presidential debate between Senator J.D. Vance and Governor Tim Walz felt a few weeks ago.  On the one side stood a mighty hillbilly culture warrior, ready to stand astride the debate stage like a Colossus.  On the other was a mealy-mouthed Elmer Fudd, who looked Elmer BeFuddled the entire time.

I am a high school history (and music!) teacher; while we do know a lot of stuff, that doesn’t mean we know how to apply it.  There is knowing a thing, and there is knowing it.  One of the biggest wakeup calls is going from the theoretical and abstract realm of the classroom and entering the real world; it becomes apparent pretty quickly that all that theory and knowledge amount to precious little if they can’t be equipped or adapted to handle Reality.

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Trumparion Rising II

The Portly Politico5 Comments

Well, well, well… it seems that, despite the best efforts of the Establishment GOP/Uniparty/Boomercons, GEOTUS Donald J. Trump can’t be beaten in a fair fight.  At least, he won the Iowa caucuses, and will likely sweep the rest of the primaries as he marches towards the Republican nomination.

What scares the powers-that-be is that Trump still wields tremendous influence.  The plethora of headlines screaming that Trump is no longer a viable candidate are the desperate cries of an elite who hope that if they say it enough, it will become true.  Their black magic and dark incantations hold no power over the righteous.

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TBT^2: The Morning After

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I’ve been pretty salty—in the parlance of the kiddos these days—about the midterm election results, a level of disappointment I haven’t experienced since the 2020 presidential election.

It brought me back to this post, in which I opine about Trump’s loss and the stolen election.  My hope was that the Republican Party would embrace the working-class voters that helped Trump win in 2016, lest they simply “return to being the party of agreeable losers.”

Looks like—ironically—the “agreeable losers” won, and have made losers of us all.

With that, here is 4 November 2021’s “TBT: The Morning After“:

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Trumparion Rising

The Portly Politico4 Comments

It’s official:  God-Emperor Donaldus Magnus is running for President in 2024.  It’s a Thanksgiving Miracle!

We all knew this announcement was coming, but making it official seals the deal and ends any lingering speculation.

Here’s another announcement of far less significance or magnitude, but one of importance to yours portly:  The Portly Politico officially and formally endorses President Donald J. Trump in the Republican primaries and for President of the United States.

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SubscribeStar Saturday: Disappointment

The Portly Politico10 Comments

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Well, the midterm elections have come and gone, and my primary reaction is bitter disappointment.

I’d been tepid about the elections this year, barely taking notice of them, but allowed myself to fall for the “red wave” hype.  In a sane world, that should have happened—a major backlash against inflation and insanity.

Instead, we have a brain-dead automaton in the United States Senate and a lean Republican majority in the House—a majority, I fear, that will be ultimately meaningless.  At the time of writing, the balance in the Senate itself is questionable, and the Democrats may even walk away controlling it—completely the opposite of what we all thought would happen.

I was a fool to get my hopes up about national politics.  Even had the Republicans taken huge majorities, what would have been the result?  Would anything have substantially changed?

Perhaps with time I’ll take a more measured response to events, but right now, it seems like our national republic is a joke, and the American people are addicted to government largesse and cultural degradation.  We don’t want to improve, and we don’t want to be free.  We want to be children, and children can’t govern themselves.

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Election Day 2022

The Portly Politico15 Comments

Well, here it is—Election Day 2022.  The much-vaunted midterms have arrived, and it looks like it’s going to be a pretty good day for Republicans.

I’ll admit, I’ve been tuned out from and burned out on politics of late, and while I’m optimistic about today’s results for Republicans, I’m a tad disillusioned with the state of electoral politics generally.  Will a “red wave” result in some meaningful reform this time around, or will GOP Establishment types wrangle the feisty upstarts and neutralize the MAGA Wing?

I’m not a “doomer” by any stretch—I sincerely hope for the latter, and I think it is the future of the Republican Party, if the GOP hopes to survive as a viable political party.  History, however, is not an encouraging indicator.

That said, a sweeping Republican victory is, by any measure, vastly preferable to a sweeping Democratic one.  At worst, I know a Republican House and Senate won’t screw things up further, and may make some marginal improvements; but a Democratic House and Senate, at worst, will double-down on the current insanity of lawlessness and moral relativism.

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SubscribeStar Saturday: Malfunctioning Robots

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After two years under the befuddlingly tyrannical rule of a mentally-impaired geezer, our electoral standards have slid to meet the lowered expectations of our time.  Now a mentally-impaired greaseball wants to be the United States Senator for Pennsylvania, and until a disastrous debate performance that was impossible to ignore, it seemed that Pennsylvanians were willing to vote for him.

To be clear, I take no pleasure in the profound illness of another person.  John Fetterman suffered a stroke—a terrible thing—but he is still pursuing public office.  As much as Henry Clay disliked Andrew Jackson in the 1824 presidential election, he wasn’t going to throw his support behind Secretary of Treasury William Crawford of Georgia (the election was thrown to the House of Representatives; Crawford was in third, but had suffered a major stroke and would pass away soon afterwards, with Clay giving his support to John Quincy Adams).

But we’ve grown accustomed to power-hungry wives and political parties propping up brain-dead puppets in public office.  Indeed, the historians of the distant future will no-doubt look back at our time and think of it as The Age of The Impaired.  We celebrate every manner of impairment—transgenderism, paralysis (both moral and physical), gluten intolerance, etc.—as some kind of special mark of holiness.

Of course, we should treat such people with compassion, but we shouldn’t be electing them to public office, no matter how good it makes us feel about ourselves to do so.  Public service is hard, even for the able-bodied and clear-minded.  Being a United States Senator is exceptionally difficult—and a position with incredible amounts of power and prestige.

What we saw with Fetterman—much like Marco Rubio’s glitching out in 2016—was an Establishment robot malfunctioning on live television.  I’m only being mildly hyperbolic—Fetterman can only process incoming sounds via a computer.  That’s a miraculous bit of technology, but do we want a cyborg serving as one of the 100 men and women of the US Senate?  Even if we did, would we want one that was constantly breaking down in stressful situations?

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Loomer and Liz

The Portly Politico6 Comments

Today Laura Loomer—the most censored woman in America—is taking a stab at the Republican nomination for her congressional district in Florida, which includes The Villages, the massive retirement community.  She’s running against incumbent Daniel Webster, who skipped the Trump impeachment vote and is therefore, according to Loomer, complicit in it, as well as some swarthy nobody who might get a couple of percentage points.

Laura Loomer’s election—if she wins the primary, she’ll very likely win the very pro-Trump Florida 11th congressional district—would be a major boon for the America First movement, and would be yet another repudiation of the Establishment Republicans who are content to fiddle about an “insurrection” while the nation burns.

That very same Establishment suffered a major defeat last week, when busybody and daddy’s princess Liz Cheney fell to a Trump-endorsed candidate in the Republican primary for Wyoming’s single congressional district.  Cheney’s defeat was a drubbing of epic proportions:  she only garnered 28.94% of votes cast, with her opponent Harriet Hageman winning with 66.33% of the vote.  Talk about a “repudiation of the Establishment Republicans,” am I right?

It’s a tale of two candidates.  Liz Cheney represents the ossified, corrupt, dynastic, moralistic, staid, boring, ineffectual, kabuki theatre style of politics that has haunted our dear Republic for the last century.  Loomer, on the other hand, is the bold, persecuted, spicy, fun, energetic, bombastic future.

If she wins today, it’s icing on the cake of Cheney’s defeat.

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Primary Election Day 2022 in South Carolina

The Portly Politico8 Comments

Today (Tuesday, 14 June 2022) we have primary elections in South Carolina.  I’ll be honest, I haven’t followed these races nearly as closely as I should have been, but the big one is the Republican primary for South Carolina US Congressional District 7.

The current occupant of that position, Congressman Tom Rice, infamously voted in favor of the impeachment of President Donald Trump following the 6 January 2021 protests over the fraudulent election.  That single vote has haunted Tom Rice, who was first elected in 2012, then the 7th Congressional District was created, ever since.

I like Tom Rice.  He’s was overwhelmingly pro-Trump, that one vote notwithstanding.  He’s been pretty good on the House Ways and Means Committee.  He’s brought a lot of important infrastructure projects to the district, like the inland port.  He’s also a very sweet, congenial man one-on-one.

But that one vote.  Perhaps it’s silly to vote against a man based on one vote, when almost all the others cut the other way.  That’s certainly what Rice’s team is hoping South Carolinians in District 7 will think.

But that one vote was a betrayal so deep, most of us can’t abide it.

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