Today’s edition of Phone it in Friday / YouTube Roundup could really be an Open Mic Tuesday, even though there was no open mic involved. Dr. Wife was having a tough day Tuesday, and I’ve learned that offering actionable advice is never what a woman wants during difficult times.

No, lads, women want absurd covers of creepy old songs with images of your childhood Steve Urkel doll (sans glasses, because I took them off when I was a kid).

So, to cheer here up, I compiled this creepy-cute montage set to me singing a butchered, bowdlerized version of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence,” interspersed with eerie closeups of Urkel and pictures of some of the family dogs:

Cover of “Sound of Silence” w/ Urkel Doll and Dogs

My in-laws are also on a trip through Europe, so I incorporated the picture of the “Jolly Hog” from their flight to London, a sandwich that contains—according to the in-flight menu—“Proper Porkers,” the turd-like sausages pictured therein:

My only question: why is the Jolly Hog served on a ciabatta roll instead of a proper English muffin? Winston Churchill is spinning in his brown sauce.

Your question is likely as follows: did the video cheer up Dr. Wife? Well, she said it did a little. She hates that Urkel doll, but her dog loves Stephen. Seeing Nugget curl up with Urkel melts her heart.

The moral: be a lovable goofball and make weird videos.

Happy Friday!

—TPP