Poem: The PACs

My call for submissions continues to yield fruit—KC, a regular contributor to and participant in the Dragon Common Room Telegram chat and its various projects—reached out with this poem, which she says is “a satirical take on Dr. Seuss’s poem ‘The Zax‘….”

When I asked KC if she had any biographical information she’d like to share, she said, “I don’t! Sorry!  I’m literally just a bored housewife who writes for fun.”  Then she sent along something a bit more indicative of her talents:  she “is one of the writers of Rachel Fulton Brown’s Dragon Common Room Books; a contributing author to Centrism Games, Aurora Bearialis, and the upcoming Draco Alchemicus.  But mostly she is a wife and mother who writes for the she[e]r fun of it.”

As we head into the election season, this little poem is a fun reminder of the perils of Uniparty politics.

With that, here is KC’s “The PACs”:

The PACs
By KC of the Dragon Common Room

The day after yesterday,

One June, after meeting with Goldman and Sachs
Came a left-leaning PAC and a right-leaning PAC
And it happened that both of them stopped at a place
Where they clashed. There they stood. Fists in air. Masks on face.

“Get out now!” the left-leaning PAC screamed, “Today!”
“You are blocking our path.  You’re in history’s way.
We’re a left-leaning PAC and we always vote left
We couldn’t care less about mass voter theft!”

“We’re in your way?” said the right-leaning PAC.
“But we are your right opposition, in fact,
So you’re in our way, and we ask you to move
So we can get back in our self-loving groove.”
Then the left-leaning PAC waved their rainbows of pride.
“We’ll never,” they shrieked, “help the right-leaning side!”
“And we’ll prove to the world that we mean what we say
If we have to keep chanting here fifty-nine days!”
“And we’ll prove to YOU,” sneered the right-leaning PAC
“That we can stand here in the face of your wrath
For fifty-nine years! For we live by a rule
That we learned as young pols in a Skull and Bones school,
Never budge!  That’s our rule.  Never budge in the least!
Not a thought to the West! Not a nod to the East!
We’ll stay here, not budging!  We can and we will
If it makes our economy stall and stand still.”

Well… Of course it didn’t stand still, up it blew!
In a couple of years, a Depression came through
And it steamrolled right over those two stubborn PACs
And left them there, dying alone in their tracks.


3 thoughts on “Poem: The PACs

  1. Thanks KC. 🙂

    I may not completely understand American politics – or what a PAC is – but I do like good poetry.

    More please!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s a good poem, isn’t it?

      A “PAC” is a “Political Action Committee.” Due to campaign-finance laws here in the States, candidates can only accept a certain limit in donations from individuals. One way to get around these limits (partly) is to have PACs advocating on behalf of a candidate. Legally, a candidate and a PAC cannot formally coordinate campaign efforts, but everyone understands that coordination occurs behind-the-scenes. They also allow for PACs to put out a more radical form of a candidate’s message, which the candidate can disavow in debates (“I never said I supported that; that was a PAC with which I am not affiliated’).

      Basically, it’s all another shell game. : /

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a loophole in everything these days, even within the loophole. 🙄

    It’s like that doughnut analogy in Knives Out – a hole within a hole. When you start dissecting it, it makes your head hurt.

    Liked by 1 person

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