New Mustang is a Sign of the Times

Before diving into today’s post, I’d like to give a YUGE “thank you” to Nebraska Energy Observer for reblogging yesterday’s postHis commentary on my post and Leslie Alexander’s moving personal essay adds greatly to the discussion of modern alienation, and gives me some encouragement in these dark days.

Everything awesome goes to crap.  That’s the thought I had yesterday when reading fridrix’s brief post lamenting the new electronic Ford Mustang, the Ford Mustang Mach-E.

Electric cars are fine, although environuts shouldn’t delude themselves that driving these battery-powered vehicles are saving the environment (it’s pedantic to point out, but batteries require a great deal of mining to get the metals necessary to build them, and the electricity to charge them comes from coal-, oil-, and nuclear-power, so it’s not like you’re truly making an end-run around fossil fuels).  But a Ford Mustang shouldn’t be an  electric car; at least, it shouldn’t be one that looks like this iteration.

Ford has taken an iconic muscle car and turned it into a limp-wristed hatchback.  Look, I drive a thirteen-and-a-half-year old Dodge Caravan with dents and collapsing headliner, but I don’t pretend its four-cylinder engine and stocky frame make it a sports car (the 2006 Dodge Caravan actually has a fairly sleek design compared to modern minivans).  I like hatchbacks just fine; they seem practical and utilitarian—the exact opposite of what a Ford Mustang should be!

This mania for political correctness and efficiency is infecting every aspect of our society and our lives.  Yet another legendary brand has fallen to the fleeting faddism of our present age.  A car like a Ford Mustang—much like the Dodge Charger—should be a gloriously wasteful (in terms of fuel efficiency) affair, a blasphemous testament to the bravado of the engineers and the driver.

That’s what makes these cars cool.  They’re powerful, they’re in-your-face, and they’re all American—like Chuck Norris or the Die Hard movies.

Now, just like everything else masculine and dangerous, we’ve neutered this vehicle into a yuppie dad car.  Journalists are celebrating the fact that the vehicle wasn’t worse than what it is.  I can only imagine the whipped husband picking up groceries for his overbearing wife, escaping the oppression of his personal and professional life in fleeting moments of ecstasy while listening to classic rock in his… electric hatchback.

If—when?—I go through my midlife crisis, I want a car that gets 15 miles-per-gallon or less, with some kind of awesome and/or mythical animal on the hood—which covers a thunderous, gas-guzzling V8 engine—and that will wake up the neighbors when I drive in from late-night photo shoots for Hot Rod Magazine.

Well, nothing lasts forever, even cold November Mustangs.

11 thoughts on “New Mustang is a Sign of the Times

  1. The morn history of Ford, try to kill the Mustang. They d it in the 70s too with the execrable Mustang II. Which to be fair wasn’t all that bad to drive, although not as good as a Corvair Monza.

    Meantime, I guess I’ll keep dreaming of Dodge/Cummins. More my style 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Guess I’m a “yuge” car guy. Drive a ’97 Silverrado myself, just around town though. To the post office and drug store to pick up scripts. Do got a Altima for wife to drive, although by today’s standards it’s getting old as well, ’13.
    Remember back down here in the deep south when union meant American made… the only union guy (pipe fitter at Ingalls Shipbuilding) I knew drove a Beetle in the ’60’s. He laughed about it, being pragmatic. He was smart too, when changing oil in his American cars he’d drain and then pour in kerosene and crank for a minute to cleanse the engine before draining again adding new oil. 🙂
    BTW Even Mark America may write off the Mustang!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Very interesting re: the kerosene cleanser. Wish I could say I’ve treated my Dodge Caravan that well, but I love that busted up hunk of junk. I’m nearing 225,000 miles on it; I’d like to get it to about 250,000, at least. I’m surprised it’s lasted as long as it has, but the little 2.4 liter engine in Dodge vans from that era are apparently SUPER reliable.

      Thanks for sharing, the unit. Glad to have another Southerner commenting (with apologies to our Midwestern brother, NEO, but I think of the Midwest as the South’s close cousin).

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh that was when oil broke down to dinosaur scales if you didn’t change often enough.
        Now the new synthetics break down to AOC’s. Probably need to add acetone instead of kerosene.
        I’m at 270k in the old Chevy, still going strong, and I don’t and haven’t ever done the kerosene deal (actually coal oil). Just new conventional oil every 5k. 🙂
        And NEO knows from which I come and which I settled high on a hill top after Camille (130 ft.above sea level). I brought how to settle things to my new surroundings, which actually fit in quite well in NW Florida (LA: Lower Alabama). One step past progressive, bouncer like 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. […] “New Mustang is a Sign of the Times” – This post isn’t about animals, per se, but the name of this iconic American vehicle is animalistic.  I’m stretching here, so just roll with it.  The occasion for this post (and last week’s TBT) was Ford’s disastrous plans to make a muscle car into an electric hatchback.  I love hatchbacks and fuel efficiency, but let’s stop taking one thing and making them into another.  It’s like when they make James Bond into a black demiqueer woman.  I don’t care if creators make some interesting new character with those racial and gender qualities, but don’t take James Bond—who I think is supposed to be Scottish—and make him something he isn’t.  Imagine if we made Othello into a white woman.  Come now. […]

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