Tag: America

Lazy Sunday CCCXCV: America 250

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Dr. Wife and I enjoyed a productive and delicious Independence Day yesterday. We both slept in fairly late, then she made us a delicious breakfast for lunch. We continued the Sisyphean task of unpacking, until Dr. Wife started getting stir-crazy, so we took some loads to Goodwill and grabbed a couple of ice cream cones at Chick-Fil-A. Dr. Wife made us an incredible dinner of hot dogs, corn on the cob, baked beans, and watermelon, and after our evening walk, she made strawberry shortcakes, which she presented with sparklers!

We didn’t get to see any fireworks—apparently, the big local fireworks displays happened a few days ago—but we heard plenty of them. The dogs don’t get riled up by them, which is a blessing. I imagine we’ll continue to hear fireworks for another evening or two as folks use up the last of their Fourth of July stash.

As such, here are some recent posts about Independence Day:

God Bless America!

—TPP

Happy 250th Birthday, America!

The Portly Politico6 Comments

Today marks the 250th birthday of our great nation, the United States of America! On this hot day 250 years ago, delegates to the Second Continental Congress pledged “to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” Their foresight and courage bore the fruit that is America.

Sure, our nation has problems, but today we celebrate 250 years of liberty. Where else in the world can someone worship God as he sees fit and get a pizza at 2 AM while saying spicy things on the Internet without fear of arrest? Even our beloved brothers in Great Britain—our cousins, our mom!—can’t speak the Truth without fear of the bobbies arresting them while they bleed out in the streets.

To commemorate this day, here’s a rendition of “Stars and Stripes Forever” from our old group Brass to the Future, including a special guest on the second tuba. From left to right, there’s Joey on trumpet; yours portly on tenor sax (not a brass instrument, but oh, well!); Ricky on tuba; Davis (special guest) on tuba; Shrimp St. Thomas (my brother) on trombone; and David on euphonium/baritone. Stick around for the “piccolo” solo, which Shrimp whistles!

God Bless America!

—TPP

TBT^340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,431,768,211,456: Happy Birthday, America!

The Portly Politico2 Comments

I’ve finally reblogged a single post enough that the “TBT^x^2” broke Windows’s calculator program, so I had to use calculator.net‘s Big Number Calculator to solve 18,446,744,073,709,551,616^2. I have no idea how one would even enunciate 340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,431,768,211,456 aloud.

The United States is celebrating another big number in two days, it’s 250th birthday! With the move Dr. Wife and I have failed to put patriotic bunting and miniature American flags, and I’m woefully unprepared in the borderline illegal fireworks department, but we’re looking forward to a relaxed day celebrating our nation with hot dogs (and our normal dogs, Murphy and Nugget).

I don’t have quite the same unbridled optimism that I did a year ago, but I think the debacle in Iran has had the positive side effect of waking up our president to the pernicious influence of the foreign policy hawks around him. It will also hopefully result in the United States playing a more muted role in the Middle East, leaving Israel to tend to its backyard without us stepping in, golem-like, every time an Arab sneezes in the direction of Tel Aviv. That whole exploding pagers things suggests the Israelis have the tech and ingenuity to handle things on their own.

Regardless, I’m feeling the Spirit of ’76. God Bless America!

With that, here is 3 July 2025’s “TBT^18,446,744,073,709,551,616: Happy Birthday America!“:

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TBT^18,446,744,073,709,551,616: Happy Birthday, America!

The Portly Politico1 Comment

It is wild looking back at the past year’s posts, and seeing how liberty keeps rallying to victory every time it seems near to death.  A year ago, the future seemed uncertain; today, it seems as though a light is shining through the fog.  Yes, America still has problems—lots of them—but we’re finally experiencing competent leadership that—gasp!—puts Americans first.

So it is that, at 249-years-old tomorrow, it seems that, at long last, America is back.

With that, here is 4 July 2024’s “TBT^4,294,967,296: Happy Birthday America!“:

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TBT^2: Groundhog Day

The Portly Politico6 Comments

In looking back at posts from February 2024, it seems that February is a busy month, in that I tend to fall behind on posts during it.  I’m not sure why, but I just seem to lag behind in February.

Speaking of, I’m way behind observing this dubious holiday, the day in which a subterranean rodent in Pennsylvania predicts the weather.

With that, here is 1 February 2024’s “TBT: Groundhog Day“:

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Phone it in Friday LXXII: YouTube Roundup XXVIII: “The Star-Spangled Banner”

The Portly Politico8 Comments

It’s been a patriotic couple of weeks, and yours portly has fallen woefully behind on uploading hot new content to YouTube (and this blog).

The solution?  Phone it in with an impromptu, live rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner,” the National Anthem of the United States.

My school had a home [American] football game on Friday, 1 November 2024.  Yours portly had neglected to recruit a student to sing the Anthem, as is my school’s Friday night custom.  I decided instead to play it on my sax once I realized my mistake.

When I got to school that night, it hit me that I’d made a terrible mistake:  I’d left my beautiful blue Slade saxophone at home!  But yours portly is the king of the last-minute solution, and I remembered that I had a student’s horn in my classroom.

Fortunately, the kid had some good reeds (I owe him one), and after a little warming up, I was ready to roll!

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SubscribeStar Saturday: America is Back, Baby!

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Can you feel it, dear reader, the paradoxical sense of relief and excitement cutting through the air?  The spirit of optimism and vigor percolating in the coffee pot of our body politic?  The determination to get it right—and Right—this time?

America is back, baby—and this time, it’s personal.

That’s always been my favorite tagline for cheesy action sequels, but with President Trump’s approaching second term, it’s particularly apt.  Trump II: The MAGAnificent Seven already broke ballot box records.  Trump is back—and, again, this time, it’s personal.

I know, I know—“we should temper our optimism,” I hear the wags—“scala-” and otherwise—clucking.  “Politicians have let us down before.”  In some ways, even Trump let us down before.

But we’re dealing with a man who has transformed, I would argue, fundamentally.  This Trump isn’t the Trump of 2016, surrounding himself with a coterie of sycophants and Washington insiders.  This Trump has survived an assassin’s bullet.  He’s survived political persecution and “criminal” prosecution, often at the hands of the very sycophants who claimed to love him.  Trump is a scorned groom who is about to set his duplicitous lover’s house on fire.

Instead of Washington insiders and Boomer Con darlings (I’m looking at your, John Bolton), Trump’s next administration is going to be the cool table in the cafeteria:  Elon Musk, J.D. Vance, RFK Jr., Vivek Ramaswamy, Joe Rogan, RFK’s cute running mate (Shanahan?), and a whole lot of other hyper-intelligent super geniuses and bros.  We’re about to witness the most masculine presidency since at least Theodore Roosevelt’s.

Buckle up, buttercup—it’s gonna be one wild and fun ride.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

Election Day in America

The Portly Politico6 Comments

Well, here it is—Election Day.  Millions of ballots have already been cast, but yours portly believes in going to the polls on the day itself.  God Willing, I’ll be there casting my ballot for Donald J. Trump about thirty minutes after this post is published.

I don’t have much to say, but I am cautiously optimistic.  Kamala Harris has all the appeal of a wet blanket that slept its way into power.  Donald Trump is like a suave gorilla caring for its young.  In other words, if you’re voting for Kamala Harris, you’re either an HR czarina or an aggressively gay man, and the last time I checked (note:  I haven’t), even gay men prefer suave gorillas.

Or, at the very least, you’re spiritually on the side of the HR czarinas if you support Harris.  I’ve never seen an election so starkly highlight the growing divide between single women and the rest of the country as much as this one.  Not even Shrillary in 2016 managed to combine schoolmarmishness with cringe-inducing cackling at this level.

I’m not focusing on the substantive issues at this point because a.) everyone has already made up their minds by this point and b.) Kamala Harris is entirely lacking in substance.

But life was good under President Trump the first time, and I suspect it will be again.  His stance on tariffs increasingly makes the free trade consensus of the last hundred years look foolish, the economists be damned.  Closing our borders economically is key to restoring American manufacturing; so is closing our border physically and legally.  We have got to clamp down on illegal and legal immigration.  I don’t care if I have to pay $40 for a shirt; by God, I want it made in America by Americans.  It’ll be the best shirt I’ve ever worn and will last a decade.

Regardless, if you’re on the fence or don’t think it matters, stop being a fig leaf and go vote for Trump.  Drive up that national vote!  Make this bad boy too big to steal.

I’ll be up late (hopefully not too late) watching the returns, and might do some Tweeting/X-ing on X.  Consider “tuning” in for my doughy reflections.

God Bless America, and God Bless Donald J. Trump!

—TPP

TBT^4,294,967,296: Happy Birthday, America!

The Portly Politico8 Comments

Today the United States celebrates its 248th birthday.  Things seem to be looking up from a year ago.  The Usurper Biden short-circuited during last week’s presidential debate, while President Trump came across as a restrained but effective pugilist.  As I told my neighbor, one of the two came across as presidential; it’s pretty clear which one.

Tucker Carlson’s ouster from Fox News has been a Godsend for open discourse and dialogue.  Not only did he interview Vladimir Putin—perhaps the most important interview of the century—he’s hosted dozens of guests from all across the political spectrum and from all over the world, many of whom would have been too spicy for Fox News to touch.

Across the pond, Nigel Farage is shaking up an otherwise dull parliamentary election with his revitalized Reform Party.

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.  It’s starting to feel a lot like 2016 again—and a lot like 1776.

With that, here is 6 July 2023’s “TBT^65,536: Happy Birthday, America!“:

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TBT: Groundhog Day

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Today is not Groundhog Day.  That’s tomorrow (Friday, 2 February 2024), but I have something special for tomorrow.  Still, I thought it’d be nice to observe this unusual holiday, which I haven’t done since 2021.

Groundhog Day is one of those fun relics of old, weird America, the America of roadside attractions, themed hotels, kooky local personalities, and the like.  I doubt seriously that a rodent in Pennsylvania can predict the weather, but it’s a fun little game we play every year.

With that, here is 2 February 2021’s “Groundhog Day“:

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