Tag: The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard

Flashback Friday^16: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break

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When I first wrote about workers needed Thanksgiving Day off, I was experiencing pretty severe burnout myself.  I do still believe that the Black Friday creeping into Thanksgiving is reprehensible, but I also realize my own stress was playing a role in my analysis.

Of course, this Black Friday I’m bunduru’d with Dr. Wife on the high seas, so I’m absolutely getting a break.  Indeed, I might be eating pizza covered in gravy and leftover turkey from last night’s onboard Thanksgiving feast (I assume we had one; I’m writing this post way beforehand).  While I’m enjoying the Thanksgiving Lover’s Pizza, though, millions are schlepping into retail stores at 4 AM to help grannies save pennies on toaster ovens.

Well, who doesn’t love a good deal?  But a better deal would be shuttering retailers all day on Thanksgiving so employees can rest up and spend time with family before being berated by penny-pinching Karens.

With that, here is 25 November 2022’s “Flashback Friday^4: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break“:

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TBT^2: Inspector Gerard eBook is Coming 1 April 2021 (Out NOW in Paperback)!

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It’s hard to believe that I released The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot three years ago (well, almost three years ago—give it another couple of weeks).  It was my first foray into self-publishing, and it was a fun experience.  I still need to go back and edit some of the embarrassing typographical and grammatical errors in the book, which I will get around to doing eventually.

Since then I’ve released a second book, Arizonan Sojourn, South Carolinian Dreams: And Other Adventures.  It has not done as well as Inspector Gerard, but at the time of writing, Amazon has it marked down to $11.16 for the paperback version.  That is a steal, as the list price is usually $20, so it’s 44% off.  It’s actually a pretty good book.  Of course, I’m biased.

This week is testing for middle school students at my school, and it was during this same testing week in 2021 and again in 2023 that I slapped together my books.  There’s something about having that extra hour or two a day without my Middle School Music Ensemble class that makes it feasible for me to compile and edit my writings into book form.  I am currently working on my third book, Offensive Poems: With Pictures, but I’m not sure if I’ll manage to get it written and edited this week, even with the extra time.

Still, I hope that by the time you’re reading this post that I’ll have put a dent into it.  The biggest challenge is going to be converting all of the hand-drawn pictures into a digital format.  I imagine the formatting of the entire book will be a huge headache, but it’s just a matter of making the appropriate sacrifices to Microsoft Word and Kindle Direct Publishing.

With that, here is 23 March 2023’s “TBT: Inspector Gerard eBook is Coming 1 April 2021 (Out NOW in Paperback)!“:

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TBT: Inspector Gerard eBook is Coming 1 April 2021 (Out NOW in Paperback)!

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

I released my first self-published book, The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot, two years ago.  Two years on, I have finally released my second book, Arizonan Sojourn, South Carolinian Dreams: And Other Adventures.  It’s a collection of travel essays I’ve accumulated over the last four years, and it’s available now on Amazon.

Here’s where you can pick it up:

With the release of this new book, it seemed apropos to glance back at the release of Inspector Gerard, and all the excitement of yours portly at the time.

With that, here is 26 March 2021’s “Inspector Gerard eBook is Coming 1 April 2021 (Out NOW in Paperback)!“:

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December 2022 Bandcamp Friday

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Ah, yes, December—Christmastime.  A time for merriment with friends, families—and Bandcamp Friday!

The first Friday of December 2022 (today, if you’re reading this on Friday, 2 December 2022) witnesses the return of this pro-indie music observance, a day on which Bandcamp waives its usual 15% commission on sales.

In other words, when you buy my music, almost 100% of it goes to me, instead of almost 85%.

While I haven’t released any new music lately, I managed to release two short collections of music in April—Péchés d’âge moyen II: One Week in March and The Lo-Fi Hymnal II.  All of my releases are just a buck each, though you’re welcome to pay more if you’d like to help out yours portly.

Currently, my entire discography of ten releases is $6.50, a savings of 35%, which is not bad for ten releases.  That’s $0.65 per release—not too shabby!  To purchase the full discography, click on any release, and you’ll see the option to purchase all of them.

I’m also selling all of my paintings for $10, with free shipping in the United States, regardless of how many you purchase.  They’re one of kind, so once a painting is purchased, it’s gone.

Finally, my book The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot is $10 in paperback, and just $5 on Kindle.

And the paperback version is the perfect gift!  Why give someone a boring, predictable gift, when you can give them a collection of unsolvable, absurdist noir detective stories to read around the yule log?  Enjoy egg nog-enriched guffaws as your friends read mystifying tales of hyper-sleuthing.

Give the Gift of Weird this Christmas!

Well, that’s it for this month’s sales pitch.  There’s been a lot of them lately.  Thanks again for your support!

Happy Friday!

—TPP

Memorable Monday: Cyber Monday Musings

The Portly Politico2 Comments

It’s Cyber Monday here in the United States, yet another day to hawk my wares to my unwitting—uh, I mean “loyal”—readers.

Here’s the big one:  the Kindle edition of my book, The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot, is on sale for just $0.99 through midnight (EST) this Thursday, 2 December 2022!

And the paperback version is the perfect gift!  Why give someone a boring, predictable gift, when you can give them a collection of unsolvable, absurdist noir detective stories to read around the yule log?  Enjoy egg nog-enriched guffaws as your friends read mystifying tales of hyper-sleuthing.

Give the Gift of Weird this Christmas—like crudely painted primitivist artwork!

While you’re at it, why not head over to my SubscribeStar page and subscribe for $1/month to unlock all of my SubscribeStar Saturday posts.  For $5/month, you get fresh doodles every Sunday, as well as other random bonuses.

Well, you get the idea.  Support yours portly on this feast of savings!

With that, here is 2 December 2019’s “Cyber Monday Musings“:

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Flashback Friday^4: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break

The Portly Politico5 Comments

It’s another Black Friday here in the United States, the day when retailers are finally in the red after convincing everyone to storm the commercial Bastille and buy flat-screen televisions at rock-bottom prices.  It’s intriguing to consider that our entire retail sector hinges on the successful execution of one day of sales to shore up an entire year of losses and (I will recklessly assume) corporate mismanagement.

I vastly prefer teaching music lessons, which put me into the black pretty much from the beginning of the year and throughout.  Of course, there are lots of other ways you can help me stay in the black, such as…

Seriously, my whole marketing tactic this Christmas season is “Give the Gift of Weird.”  Why give someone another scented candle they’ll shove into a drawer and forget about?  You can totally win your White Elephant gift exchange with a self-published book of unsolvable, absurdist detective stories.  Or help an oddball relative celebrate with a painting of a demonic-looking beast sword.

Release yourself from the shackles of predictable gifts that no one wants or needs!  Don’t risk setting fire to your house with some crappy candle.  Instead, be fire on Christmas morning with some wacky, one-of-a-kind gifts from yours portly.

You’ll also be giving those schmucks at Target a break, which they desperately need after sacrificing Thanksgiving to fulfill your insatiable lust for plastic knick-knacks.

With that, here is “Flashback Friday^2: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break“:

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July Self-Promotion Bonanza

The Portly Politico3 Comments

It’s definitely not Bandcamp Friday, but it is the first Friday of the month during the slowest blogging time of the year and the start of a major holiday weekend, so why not hard sell my various products and services?

It’s a TPP total liquidation sale!  Everything in stock must go!

Here are the goods:

  • The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot Kindle edition is available for just $0.99 through Independence Day!  That’s 81% off the usual list price of five bucks.
  • MAGAWeek2022 starts on Monday, the Fourth of July!  It’s a week of posts celebrating the people, places, things, events, and ideas that made America great!  For just $1 a month, you get access to every post over at my SubscribeStar Page—plus posts every Saturday year-round!
  • For a limited time, all of my releases on Bandcamp are $1 each—including Contest Winner EP!  The full discography is available for $6.50—35% off.  That’s on top of the $1 per release sale.  The full discography usually retails for around $26.48, so that’s a total savings of around 74.5%!
  • I’ve got a bunch of paintings waiting for good homes with good walls.  They’re all $10!

That’s it for now!  I’ve got some projects in the works, so stay tuned for some more updates.

Remember, buying stuff—especially from your friendly neighborhood blogger—is the American thing to do.

Happy Independence Day!

—TPP