It’s another Black Friday here in the United States, the day when retailers are finally in the red after convincing everyone to storm the commercial Bastille and buy flat-screen televisions at rock-bottom prices. It’s intriguing to consider that our entire retail sector hinges on the successful execution of one day of sales to shore up an entire year of losses and (I will recklessly assume) corporate mismanagement.
I vastly prefer teaching music lessons, which put me into the black pretty much from the beginning of the year and throughout. Of course, there are lots of other ways you can help me stay in the black, such as…
Seriously, my whole marketing tactic this Christmas season is “Give the Gift of Weird.” Why give someone another scented candle they’ll shove into a drawer and forget about? You can totally win your White Elephant gift exchange with a self-published book of unsolvable, absurdist detective stories. Or help an oddball relative celebrate with a painting of a demonic-looking beast sword.
Release yourself from the shackles of predictable gifts that no one wants or needs! Don’t risk setting fire to your house with some crappy candle. Instead, be fire on Christmas morning with some wacky, one-of-a-kind gifts from yours portly.
You’ll also be giving those schmucks at Target a break, which they desperately need after sacrificing Thanksgiving to fulfill your insatiable lust for plastic knick-knacks.
With that, here is “Flashback Friday^2: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break“:
It’s Black Friday today, so everyone is rushing out to get whatever picked over sales items they can. In the spirit of Black Friday, I’d be remiss if I didn’t hawk my book, The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard, and my music. Inspector Gerard is the perfect White Elephant gag gift, and at $10 for the paperback, it fits perfectly into the price point for most such novelty gift exchanges. I’ve also got some weird merch for sale.
I first wrote “Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break“ back in 2019, at a point when I was feeling immense amounts of burnout at work. I stand by my original assessment—that companies shouldn’t gobble up Thanksgiving Day to offer increasingly early doorbuster sales so their workers can enjoy some time with their families—though now I would probably add some more caveats.
I realized that I never really explained the name “Brack Friday Bunduru.” I lifted it from an episode of South Park in which the kids heat up the console wars between the XBox and Playstation:
Ever since, I can’t help but say, “Brack Friday Bunduru” in an exaggerated Japanese accent ever Black Friday.
With that, here is 2020’s “Flashback Friday: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break”:
I’m embracing the lazy logic of Thanksgiving Break with more throwback posts than usual this week. After Christmas Break, this little Thanksgiving reprieve is my favorite short break of the year. It combines family, fun, and food, with enough time to enjoy all three.
Last year when I wrote “Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break,” I was growing increasingly burned out and fatigued from my job and my various obligations. Between work, music lessons, and various ensembles, I wasn’t getting home most nights until 9 or even 10 PM. That clearly showed up in my argument here for giving workers the day of Thanksgiving—and at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day—off from their toils.
That said, I still believe it. What’s humorous to me, in re-reading this post after a year of lockdowns and shutdowns, is that my call for “[s]hutting down everything but essential services… would be an admirable goal for at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, as well as Thanksgiving” came to pass—with deleterious effect—for not three measly days but for months on end. That’s certainly not what I had in mind, but I think workers have had all the breaks they can stand this past year.
Still, in normal times, having a couple of days for Christmas and a day or two for Thanksgiving isn’t going to tank the global economy. Workers could use the break, and the reminder that all that hard work is in service to something greater: family, faith, and God.
I love hard work—indeed, I think it’s one of the keys to happiness and purpose, particularly for men—but there’s hard work, and there’s exhausting yourself for a pittance. Let’s reward the former with some downtime.
With that, here is “Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break“:
Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas‘s time—an ever-expanding season that stretches into September—has finally arrived. Today is Black Friday, the consumerist threshold that formally inaugurates the Christmas (shopping) season.
Black Friday, much like the holiday season it ushers in, has slowly stretched beyond its one-day window. First, the expansion went into Small Business Saturday, then Cyber Monday. Next came Giving Tuesday—a bit of charitable giving to close out the mad dash for savings. Once you’ve spent all of your money in big box stores on Friday, at the dying mom and pop joint in your town, and everything else on Amazon on Monday, whatever is left goes to the United Way.
Now Black Friday even bleeds into Thanksgiving Day itself. Doorbuster sales with lines forming up at 2 AM on Black Friday is spectacle enough; now, stores opening Thanksgiving afternoon or evening try to squeeze more revenue from zealous shoppers.
As a schoolteacher, I’m spoiled: with the exception of two years of my life, I’ve been involved in education in some way, which means I’ve always gotten a glorious Thanksgiving holiday. It rankles me, though, when service folks are denied even one day to relax and spend with their families (until I need to buy something at 8 PM on a Thursday, and that Thursday turns out to be Thanksgiving).
“They should get a better job, Portly.” Okay, sure, a perk of teaching, for example, is all the crazy days off; a perk of a professional job is to vacation or flex-time. Federal employees have to work on Black Friday, but they get every second- and third-tier holiday on the calendar as a paid vacation day, so I don’t feel much sympathy for them (plus, they work for the federal government).
But even taco jockeys and the weird, pushy old gay sales clerk at Macy’s need a day off to spend with their families (or, in the case of the weird old gay guy at Macy’s—an actual person I have in mind—his little lapdog, Snickers—that part is pure speculation on my part). There will always be those who want to work on Thanksgiving for that sweet golden time, of course, but wouldn’t it be worth it to shut everything down for a day or two?
Yes, if you work in retail, you’re going to work Black Friday. All the more reason—before clocking in for a twelve-plus-hour shift—to have the day of Thanksgiving completely off. Gotta have time to sleep off that turkey and dressing, at the very least.
Christmas is another one where I often forget—cozy in my cosseted bubble of quasi-academia—that most people work the day before and/or after Christmas. The idea of working the day after Christmas seems like a death sentence, but that’s not as bad as working on Christmas itself. Whatever Ebeneezer Scrooge is forcing his employees to work on Christmas Day should probably be imprisoned.
The folks in Medieval Europe had the right idea—dozens of feast days to celebrate this or that minor saint or hero. They probably went too far in the other direction, going overboard with merriment. I’m sure there’s a happy medium.
Today, we modern Americans work our fingers to the bone. That’s one reason we’re great, and I’m a firm believer in hard work. All the more reason, then, to take a day or two during this time of year to slow down and relax a bit. We hustle and bustle through the Christmas season with such rapidity and motion, we don’t take the time to savor it.
Shutting down everything but essential services—God Bless police officers and emergency medical personnel for being there on Christmas and Thanksgiving—would be an admirable goal for at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, as well as Thanksgiving. Open your store up at 12:00 AM on Black Friday if you want, but don’t make your employees come in until right at that moment.
These are just some stream-of-consciousness thoughts I’ve had as I’m wrestling with questions about the proper balance between work and life. But hard workers could use a little downtime with their families during the Christmas season.
5 thoughts on “Flashback Friday^4: Brack Friday Bunduru: Workers Need a Break”
Black Friday is actually proving helpful to me. Tina has bought all my Christmas presents and I’m still buying the last of hers. We have a £150 limit on Christmas presents so we have to be creative but when Amazon is offering so many deals, it means I can get some decent stuff for her at a cut price. So yes, I have no complaints and I’m sure those who are budgeting for Christmas won’t either.
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That’s wonderful, Ponty! Glad you’re getting the shopping done for your lovely Tina, and she for you. You will enjoy each other’s gifts and company, I am sure.
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Nice to know South Park are still putting their slant on Asian culture. Their takeaway (sorry, I couldn’t help it) on City Wok is brilliant. The left would go into meltdown if they watched that.
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You definitely don’t have to squint to see it. 😂
Hahaha, oooh, City Wok. We always joke about ordering from their on Christmas Eve, when we usually order a mess of Chinese takeout (takeaway, as y’all call it, yeah?) and dig in.
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Our local Chinese (which is brilliant) has their operator answer with ‘take your order pwease!’ Cracks me up every time! 🙂
By the way, Tina and I have started to watch Fear the Walking Dead. I keep hearing that the first couple of series were awful but I’ve loved the first series. I’m guessing other people don’t like the pacing but I’d take a steady build and the progression of the natural order and the characters over rushed action any day of the week. We also watched Top Gun: Maverick which was superb.