SubscribeStar Saturday: Ankle Break

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

On Monday, 30 October 2023, I suffered a very bad fall in my laundry/mudroom.  I had an infestation of these little tiny beetles that are, fortunately, harmless; however, I wanted to get rid of them.  To that end, I sprayed a lemongrass indoor insecticide liberally throughout the laundry room.

Well, it worked:  it killed the bugs—and it nearly killed me!  I missed a spot when stepping into the room to take out Murphy, and fell hard onto the concrete floor.

At the time, I just thought it was a bad sprain, as I was able to hobble around well enough.  I iced my ankle and elevated it on some pillows on my bed, and struggled throughout a night of pain.

Well, after spending Halloween walking around on my hobbled foot—and borrowing first some crutches and then a cane from colleagues—my foot seemed to get worse.  By Wednesday morning, it was clear I needed to see an orthopedist.

Well, it turns out I had a broken ankle.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

November 2023 Bandcamp Friday

Here we are again—another Bandcamp Friday.  There’s never been a better time to buy my music.

I have a new release coming out on Black Friday (24 October 2023), Leftovers.  It’s a short EP of four tracks leftover from my recent composing projects, as well as an epic-length, eight-minute-plus track from the never-completed Electrock III called “Futura (Magnum Opus III).”  Here’s the album cover to tide you over:

Leftovers

Delicious!  Mark your calendars now!

Last Bandcamp Friday I had a brand new release:  Spooky Season II: Rise of the Cryptids!  It’s ten tracks and nearly fifteen minutes of music, so it’s 3.5 times longer than Spooky Season.

Like Spooky SeasonSpooky Season II: Rise of the Cryptids features full scores for every part, as well as around 130 MBs of bonus content—videos, pictures, and even some live performance footage.  It’s my most feature-packed release ever, and it’s only $5!

Also, look at this sweet album cover:

Bigfoot - Album Cover

It’s the finest quality MS Paint can provide!

Speaking of my last release, Spooky Season, a collection of seven new compositions with a spooky, autumnal vibe, hit streaming platforms on Sunday, 1 October, but is also available for purchase via Bandcamp!

Spooky Season is just $5, and includes full scores and individual parts for every track—a $28 value!—plus a bonus track.  It’s also crammed with videos, handwritten manuscripts, and other goodies.

The first Friday of a bunch of months in 2023—February, March, April, May, August, September, October, November, and December—will feature this pro-indie music observance, a day on which Bandcamp waives its usual 15% commission on sales.

In other words, when you buy my music, almost 100% of it goes to me, instead of almost 85%.

Currently, my entire discography of eleven releases is $20.89a savings of 50%, which is not bad for eleven releases.  That’s $1.74 per release—not too shabby!  To purchase the full discography, click on any release, and you’ll see the option to purchase all of them.

You can also listen to a ton of my tunes on YouTube (and it’s free to subscribe!).

I’m also selling all of my paintings for $10, with free shipping in the United States, regardless of how many you purchase.  They’re one of kind, so once a painting is purchased, it’s gone.

Then there’s Society6, a website that lets artists upload their designs, which can they be printed onto all manner of products (like this throw pillow, or this duvet cover).  Why not get a bookbag with a mouthy droid on it?

I only get 10% of the sales made there, but some of the stuff looks really good—I really want these notebooks with my “Desert View” painting on it (now SOLD!).  Some of them are straight-up goofy, like this church doodle I made celebrating the presidential pardon of Roger Stone (the description for the piece is “Anger your friends with this doodle commemorating the presidential pardon of America’s most dapper political operative“).

I have a few new paintings in the works, and hope to be attending the South Carolina Bigfoot Festival to try to hawk some of my works.  We’ll see how that goes!

My first book, The One-Minute Mysteries of Inspector Gerard: The Ultimate Flatfoot, is $10 in paperback, and just $5 on Kindle.

My second and newest book, Arizonan Sojourn, South Carolinian Dreams: And Other Adventures, is $20 in paperback and $10 on Kindle.

Finally, after I finish Offensive Poems: With Pictures, my planned third book, I’ll be uploading those doodles to Society6 as well.  I have high hopes (perhaps naïvely) for this book, but we shall see.  The doodles are some of my best work—and in glorious color—and without notebook paper lines!

Thanks again for your support!

Happy Friday!

—TPP

TBT^4: Happy Halloween

Well, I’m letting the Halloween good times roll, even though we’re now two days into November.  Last year, I posted “Memorable Monday: Happy Halloween“; Halloween fell on Monday, and I broke the chain of “TBT” posts.  I was planning on doing the same this year and doing a rare “Retro Tuesday” post, but I took a nasty spill and missed the window.  D’oh!

Well, what else can be said that hasn’t already been written?  Halloween is awesome.  Maybe creeping it a few days into November is a good way to combat “Christmas Creep.”  Indeed, I’m playing a gig tomorrow, and will likely play some Halloween tunes.

With that, here is 28 October 2021’s “TBT^2: Happy Halloween“:

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ad Hoc Halloween Edition

It’s almost Halloween!  Yours portly couldn’t be more excited for this fun holiday.

Unfortunately, yours portly has been extremely busy lately, and I simply haven’t had the time to write proper posts over the weekend.  I was planning on reviewing the 1963 Alfred Hitchcock classic The Birds today (I saw it on the big screen the weekend before this past one), but I’m holding off on that for another week.

Instead, here are some films I’d recommend to get you into the Halloween mood:

Read More »

SubscribeStar Saturday: Spooktacular 2023 Preparations

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Yours portly is knee-deep in preparations for the annual Spooktacular, which kicks off tonight at 6 PM.  The Spooktacular has become a hotly anticipated event, and while I’ve failed at a number of enterprises lately, the Spooktacular is a marquee event that my students and their families enjoy.

As a longtime dilettante and fulltime slob, I’m not the best housekeeper.  My energies are expended on other endeavors, like this blog, my teaching, and my private lessons.  The last thing I want to do after a long day of mind-molding is clean the toilet or vacuum the carpet.

My parents’ and grandparents’ generations were neat freaks.  They’d scrub the baseboards with toothbrushes and risk their lives to second-story windows.  I scrub so poorly, my dentist regularly warns me about gingivitis.

But even I succumb to the overwhelming sense of shame that comes from having company over in an unkempt house, and as I want these people to keep giving me money to touch their kids—and as I hope to avoid my father’s dismayed disapproval at my dirty baseboards—the Spooktacular forces me to deep clean.

I’ve been doing a lot of it lately.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

Chapel Lesson: Exploring God’s Creation

My school’s chaplain—a truly amazing man of God—is struggling in the hospital as I write these words.  Please lift Father Jason Hamshaw up in your prayers, dear readers.  I do not know the nature of his affliction, but the last I heard, he was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), which never bodes well.  He is a relatively young man, and a loving husband and father.  One of his sons is a student here at my school.  Pray, and pray hard.

Because he is in the hospital, I was asked to deliver the chapel lesson/devotional/homily the morning of Thursday, 26 October 2023.  Here is the devotional I wrote, with a huge debt of gratitude to The Daily Encouraging Word, which I substantially adapted and modified for this lesson:

Read More »

TBT^4: Monsters

‘Tis the season for monsters and ghoulies!  Having just returned from the South Carolina Bigfoot Festival—and with the annual Spooktacular just two days away!—yours portly is in a monstrous mood.  Indeed, I wrote an entire album about them, which is available on streaming platforms for you cheapskates.

What is it that makes monsters so fascinating?  In old monster movies, the monster was always the last thing the audience saw, because saving the featured creature for last guaranteed you stay hooked (and because most of those old films had shoestring budgets and bad makeup/costumes/props, so they had one or two good shots with the monster before the whole contraption broke down).  Even now, when movies tell us everything that happens—even if we just saw it happen—we still want to see the monster—the more the better.

All I can figure is that we want to see how wild our own imaginations can be—and how well we can scare ourselves with monsters that are both alien and familiar.

With that, here is 27 October 2022’s “TBT^2: Monsters“:

Read More »

Myersvision: Open Your Eyes

Senior correspondent and cryptid expert Audre Myers sends me a lot of Bigfoot footage, almost all of which I can find some hole to poke my skeptic’s waggling finger through with good-natured vigor.  I suspect that as eagle-eyed as she is, Audre sees with the eyes of a true believer, and sometimes sees what she wants to see.  Thus it is for all of us, for different things.

But this time, I think she might be onto something.  I think she vastly underestimates how good (and cheap) practical effects work is these days, and how a truly committed hoaxster could put together a pretty convincing Bigfoot outfit if he wanted to do so.

But, again, something about this video really is compelling.  Naturally, it has all the shortcomings of the typical Bigfoot footage—blurry, for example—but it makes sense in this context.

I’ll let you decide for yourself.  With that, here’s Audre, encouraging you to “Open Your Eyes”:

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Lockdown Tower (2022)

What would happen if a multiethnic, multiracial apartment tower in the Parisian projects found itself blocked off from the outside world, surrounded by a total blackness that consumes anything that attempts to pass through it?  That’s the premise to the 2022 French film Lockdown Tower, and the answer to that question isn’t pretty.

Fortunately, it makes for a riveting film, and while the world it paints is pretty bleak, it’s also unsettlingly realistic.

Read More »