Lazy Sunday CCCXCIX: Cruise Haiku

On the last night of our cruise I jotted down some haiku in a very nice journal Dr. Wife purchased for me. I’ve featured what I would consider to be the most “cruise-related” haiku over the past couple of Mondays, although I have some more that will be featured in something or somewhere approximately “whenever.”

In the meantime, here are the two installments of Cruise Haiku in case you missed them:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

My TripAdvisor Review of Belize City

Poor Belize City. It’s becoming something of a punching bag for yours portly. I wanted to like it so badly, but it was really the most disappointing stop on our recent cruise.

That doesn’t make me a heartless monster. We tipped our tour guide, Omar, and bus driver, as we do for all of our excursions. It was cool seeing a city and a country that I’d never visited before. I appreciated how Omar and our driver improvised to deal with the heavy rain that hit when we made landfall.

But, as I’ve noted ad nauseum, the city itself was a letdown. That’s the heart of a review I completed at Omar’s urging (he came around with a QR code on his phone that we all took a picture of). I’m still not sure I’ve actually reviewed the correct service and/or tour, as the QR code wouldn’t scan properly, but, hey, I tried my best (and gave Omar a shout-out; he was, after all, the man who inspired the genre-defying megahit “Drink the Rum“).

The Doomed QR Code

So, with a dearth of better content to share, here is the full text of my TripAdvisor review (which you can also read here):

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Lazy Sunday CCCXCVIII: Cruise Stuff

It’s been nice being back home (even though it was a sad start to last week), but I did enjoy our cruise. I’ve finally lost my “sea legs,” but I’m looking forward to another in the future, although I imagine it’ll be a bit before out next one. That said, I thought I’d share some recent cruise posts:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

desk globe against black background

SubscribeStar Saturday: Western Caribbean Cruise Review

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Today Dr. Wife and I will be returning from a week-long Royal Caribbean cruise through the Western Caribbean. The cruise left from Tampa on Saturday, 11 July 2026 and returns this morning (Saturday, 18 July 2026). Along the way, we made stops in Costa Playa, Mexico; Roatán, Honduras; Belize City, Belize; and Cozumel, Mexico. It was a jam-packed itinerary with plenty of time for rest—and celebratory gluttony.

Before diving into the details, here were my favorite stops, from most favorite to least favorite:

1.) Roatán, Honduras – they have Bojangle’s! It’s also just a beautiful place with super friendly people.

2.) Cozumel, Mexico – we only saw the touristy area just off of the cruise ship, but you can buy stuff like azithromycin over-the-counter, which is wild.

3.) Puerto Costa Maya, Mexico – we saw Mayan ruins here and drove through a village called “Pineapple Town.”

4.) Belize City – I really wanted to like Belize City, hoping it’d be some kind of Anglo-Caribbean wonderland nestled in Central American. Instead, it was like the rest of Central America and the Caribbean, but somehow worse. I thought British imperialism would have left a bit more of a positive mark on this damp, effluvial city.

This cruise was only my second, but it cemented for me that I am a cruise person.

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aerial view photography of beach

Phone it in Friday CXXXVIII: YouTube Roundup CXCVIII: Sloths, Iguanas, Birds, and Boomers in Roatán, Honduras

Dr. Wife and I are on the penultimate day of our cruise, one last day at sea before we get back to Tampa, and then Charlotte, and then South Carolina. It’s been a really enjoyable trip before she starts her “big girl” job post-residency.

We’ve had several stops on this cruise, including two in Mexico and one in Belize City. Our favorite stop, however, was at Roatán, Honduras.

Roatán is an island off the coast of Honduras. It has the feel of both an island and the mountains, as it’s essentially a forty-ish-mile long mountain range with a width of only four-ish miles, so you’re pretty much in the “mountains” when you set foot on shore.

The day we landed in Roatán, the weather was overcast, but quickly turned rainy. The rain then morphed into a torrential downpour mere minutes after got out of our little Hyundai tour bus at a place called “AJ’s Monkeys and Sloths“; it’s the kind of place where I’m pretty sure the owner and his family live on the premises and charge admission for people to see guinea pigs, spider monkeys, and sloths.

It was pretty awesome. The rain was intense, not unlike the sudden downpours we’ll get in South Carolina on a really hot, humid afternoon in late summer. The soaking rain gave the whole visit something of a festive and adventurous feel. At one point, a gust of wind knocked loose a tarp, which fell upon Dr. Wife and me, which was humorous and only hastened our steps into a cage with a large parrot.

The staff was amazing. They spoke the best English of any of our various tour guides on the trip. Apparently, Roatán has a large English-speaking population. Lots of places had English names attached to them, and Dr. Wife and I cracked up to learn that Bojangle’s—yes, the Southern fried chicken franchise—was ubiquitous on the island. I did a little research (talked to AI), and learned that Bojangle’s experimented with international franchises, and the only one that worked was the initial one in Roatán, where the English-speaking population, coupled with the popularity of spicy fried chicken in the Caribbean and Central America, made it an instant hit.

We also visited an iguana farm, but because the rain cooled things down so much (Dr. Wife actually had the heat running in our stateroom when we returned), they largely stayed in the trees. On a hot day, they apparently descend from the trees and bask and feed on the shore. Also, they are a delicacy, and our tour guide told us that, if prepared properly, they taste “better than chicken.” The owners of this particular iguana farm raise them to protect them from the cook’s pot, so it functions as a sanctuary. They also protect tarpan and some other local fish species that are popular with Honduran cooks.

There was one really obnoxious Boomer grandma on the trip with her two young grandchildren. She kept asking annoying questions in that voice that George Costanza’s mom has, but even more irritating. The cruise line indicated the tour was about four hours, but the actual tour was around three-and-a-half. The lady piped up and asked if we were going to lunch. You could almost hear a mental groan from everyone on the bus. I actually said, “no” from the back of the bus. I’d like to think I was something a a hero that day.

Regardless, here’s a little video about all the stuff we saw in Roatán (including the Boomer lady):

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Belated Wednesday Update

It’s been a whirlwind Wednesday for yours portly and Dr. Wife. Yesterday we were both worn out between her onboarding and my long day of duties around the house, and we had to get up early to head to Florence, South Carolina for a day of “life admin” errands.

We got home mid-afternoon, only to discover that Nugget, our three-legged dog, has been selected as one of a handful of canines to receive a (mostly) free photography session. Part of her prize is a full-sized portrait with Dr. Wife!

The contest winner in question

The rub is that the studio is in Summerville, South Carolina, which is a little over two hours away. After making some hasty arrangements for Murphy’s care and feeding for the next twenty-four hours, I booked us a dog-friendly hotel (and a continental breakfast—ooooh, baby!), and we’re setting out at some point this evening.

More to come, dear readers! I’ll share photos of our last-minute adventure, as well as Nugget’s grand portrait, soon!

Happy Wednesday!

—TPP

TBT^16: Touring the Solar System in Rural Maine

Dr. Wife will finish residency officially in eight days, and she’s excited to be here at our new home all the time. We have a good bit of unpacking to do since the multiple moves over the past few months, but it will be so much more enjoyable to do it together.

We’re also looking forward to doing some traveling in the future. We have an excursion planned for mid-July, before she starts her “big girl job,” as I call it, as a rural family medicine doctor. Beyond that, it will probably be a bit before we hit the road again, as she’ll settle into her new schedule and I’ll get settled into my new quasi-freelancer life.

One trip, however, that I hope we can take one day is up to Maine for this tour of the The Maine Solar System Model. It might be awhile before we are able to take the time to do it, but I’m thinking summer will be a great time to cruise across the Solar System—so we can escape the South Carolina heat!

With that, here is 12 June 2025’s “TBT^4: Touring the Solar System in the Rural Maine“:

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TBT: Held Hostage by a Trans Autist at McDonald’s

In looking for a piece to reblog for this installment of TBT, I stumbled upon this piece involving some late-night McDonald’s shenanigans.  I really should compile a short collection of essays about my various misadventures at McDonald’s—and other fast food joints.  Slapping together fifty pages musing about fast food in the 2020s would be much like the food itself—cheap, reprocessed garbage that costs too much and is unfit for human consumption.

And yet, the cheap flavor and saltiness of such a volume would entice just as a nocturnal cheeseburger might.  What say you, dear readers?  Should I put together such a lofty tome?  Leave a comment and let me know.

With that, here is 2 April 2025’s “Held Hostage by a Trans Autist at McDonald’s“:

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SubscribeStar Saturday: Epic Universe: Super Mario World

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My family and I took our annual-ish trip to Universal Studios earlier this week (Dr. Wife, sadly, is still in the depths of residency, so she was unable to join us).  This year’s trip was a bit different from those of yesteryear, however:  we visited Universal’s new park, Epic Universe, on our last day in Orlando.

Epic Universe has been in the works for years, and suffered (I believe) some delays due to The Age of The Virus.  The wait and the delays were worth it—it was truly, as my younger brother put it, the “theme park of the twenty-first century.”

The premise behind Epic Universe is that a central hub of celestial-themed rides and attractions leads to various “universes” or worlds.  Each one is accessed through a portal, and once you’re in one of the worlds, you are in it.  You can’t see the other worlds or the main hub until you leave that specific world.  Instead of areas blending together gradually, they’re distinct little pocket universes.

That separation greatly enhances the immersion.  When we were in Super Mario World—the subject of today’s post—it felt like we were inhabiting the world of Super Mario Brothers.  When we were in Dark Universe, the monster world, it was like being in an old Universal or Hammer horror flick.  The Harry Potter Ministry of Magic was akin to walking the streets of Paris—and so on.

Epic Universe consists of four separate worlds:  Super Mario World; Dark Universe; the Ministry of Magic (Paris); and the Island of Berk, from the How to Train Your Dragon film franchise.  There is also the Celestial Park hub area, which features the park’s signature coaster, Starlight Racers, and a celestial carousel at the center.

Today, I want to dive into the first of these worlds, the world of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, Bowser, and the rest—Super Mario World.

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