One Southerner's unique, erudite, conservative perspective in a hectic world
Author: The Portly Politico
Tyler James Cook is a singer-songwriter in Lamar, South Carolina. He is formerly of The Lovecrafts and Brass to the Future, and currently performs regularly as a solo artist at local open mic nights. He sings and plays sax, keys, and a little bass. He loves songwriting contests, even if he isn't cool or talented enough to win them. He won the 2012 Artsville Songwriting Contest's People's Choice Prize for his original song "Contest Winner."
He also maintains _The Portly Politico_, a politics and culture blog, at https://theportlypolitico.wordpress.com.
Dr. Wife and I took a cruise for our honeymoon aboard Royal Caribbean‘s Explorer of the Seas. The artwork impressed, delighted, and even confounded me.
As such, I put together a brief video showcasing some of the art onboard the ship. This video only captures a small fraction of the collages, paintings, photographs, mosaics, etc., aboard Explorer of the Seas. The selections were often odd, but they really fit the atmosphere of the ship, and added a touch of elegance and class to the cruise.
At this year’s Christmas Concert, the program accidentally included the lyrics to “Joy to the World.” In the past, my students have played it as a singalong for the audience, but we haven’t done so in a few years. I’m not sure why the lyrics got included in the program, but I briefly contemplated “winging it” and shouting the chords at my students while everyone sang.
I did not give into that temptation. One that I have learned is that other people’s errors do not necessitate me fixing them in haphazard ways (usually). We simply announced there was a mistake in the program and went on from there.
That said, the larger mistake was, indeed, mine—I should have put it in the Christmas Concert! I love “Joy to the World,” and it’s really fun to play and sing. I suppose next year I’ll have to toss it into the mix.
It is midterm exam week here, which means my schedule is a bit more flexible. My World History students take their midterm exams today (Wednesday, 17 December 2025), which means I’ll be monitoring and grading throughout the day.
With a bit more flexibility this week, I have been going through my belongings to prepare items to sell on Facebook Marketplace and/or eBay, and to find things to donate to neighbors, friends, family, and/or Goodwill. It is wild how much detritus one accumulates in a small house over the course of seven years, especially when it’s someone with latent hoarder tendencies like yours portly.
This morning a colleague purchased these Star Wars action figures from me (as well as a few other Kenner figurines I had sitting around the house):
My father-in-law went on a Facebook Marketplace kick when he and my mother-in-law were downsizing earlier this summer (see also: my U-Haul adventure), and my own mom does a brisk business through it as well, so I’ve been turning stuff I don’t want to move to the new house into moderate treasure. Some items move quickly and/or generate lots of interest; others sit in unsold purgatory, awaiting either redemption into paradise or a bleak end in the donation pile.
Want to play the sax like yours portly? Read my ultimate guide to getting started for under $350.
Years ago, my dear mom found a copy of The Usborne Book of Piano Classics (that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you) at a book sale and picked it up for me. I have used that book countless times over the years for gigs, piano lessons, practice, arranging, etc. My High School and Middle School Music Ensembles have performed arrangements based on those in the book many times at the annual South Carolina Independent School Association Music Festival.
While it consists of piano arrangements of famous pieces from the Baroque, Classical, and Romantic periods, I often play the pieces on saxophone. I found myself pulling the book out in preparation for a gig this past Sunday (a wedding proposal—the client’s girlfriend said yes!), and came upon a melancholy piece from the Baroque composer Henry Purcell, “When I am laid in earth,” perhaps better known as “Dido’s Lament.” It’s from Purcell’s opera Dido and Aeneas.
Last year, when Dr. Wife was still Dr. Girlfriend, we sat down and watched an incredible movie exploring demonic possession and spiritual warfare.
That film was 2023’s Nefarious(that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you). It’s one of the best films I’ve seen in years, and it’s an overtly Christian film (without making it feel like it’s overtly Christian). It’s an excellent example of how Christians can make compelling art that espouses our beliefs culturally.
Good afternoon, my loyal subscribers! Apologies for a late post today; yours portly crashed out after a long but productive day at work yesterday, which included my students’ annual Christmas Concert.
I’ll allow GEOTUS to articulate this sentiment in the way only he can:
Regardless, in the grand tradition of The Portly Politico, it’s time the annual Christmas Concert Postmortem, where I break down the program and how everything went.
For non-paying subscribers, don’t worry—the kids did a fabulous job, as they always do. My Middle School Music Ensemble (MSME) played three pieces:
“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”
“We Wish You a Merry Christmas”
“Last Christmas”
And my High School Music Ensemble (HSME) played four pieces:
“What Child is This?”
“Mary Did You Know?”
“Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
“O Holy Night”
For whatever reason, the HSME played a lot of songs whose titles are questions. Don’t ask me why!
Last Saturday I wrote in detail about the three-soundboard setup I used for a school play. It’s a rather technical topic (although I don’t get overly technical with it), but I made a little video that will either a.) clarify how the setup worked or b.) deepen readers’ confusion.
One of my favorite Christmas carols, “Silent Night,” is 207-years old this year. It’s also one of the rare years where I’m not programming it for our Christmas Concert at school. That’s not for any particular reason, and it will surely make a comeback in future years; there are just a lot of great Christmas songs!
That said, I have a soft spot for this piece. It’s not my all-time favorite Christmas carol, but it’s definitely in the Top 3. The piece is so rich theologically, but it also musically captures the Peace that passes all understanding—the Peace that comes from the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.
Tom over at Free Speech Backlash recently put out a call for writers, to which I responded. However, as so often is the case in life, I’ve not contributed a single word since our initial exchange, but he obligingly sent a piece to me. And, boy, what a piece it is!
Everyone loves penguins—or so I thought. Tom makes a pretty compelling case for why they’re actually quite frustrating creatures. More interestingly, however, this piece—about rehoming thousands of angry penguins—points out how mass media hysteria and environmental lunacy misses the penguins for the icebergs (in this case, bleeding hearts over obnoxious animals win out over concerns about oily water getting into a nuclear power plant).
It also gives a humorous look at humanity’s hubris, especially in the sciences. There are few things that induce such delicious Schadenfreude in yours portly like witnessing an expensive boondoggle with official scientific backing going fins up.