SubscribeStar Saturday: The Portly Politico Summer Reading List 2026, Part IV: Poetry

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Today’s post includes Amazon Affiliate links to the books referenced. I receive a portion of any purchases made through those links, at no additional cost to you. If a book is linked, it is an Amazon Affiliate link. —TPP

After some delays and enjoying America’s 250th anniversary, yours portly is back with some reading, now featuring a once-great literary form: poetry.

Poetry gets a bad rap, likely because the former has largely devolved into the latter. It’s pretty easy to write prose and then chop it up into sentence fragments with some white space and indents and call it poetry.

Here’s that last sentence as “poetry”:

Poetry gets a bad
rap, likely because the former
has largely
Devolved
into the latter. It's pretty
easy to write
Prose and then
chop
it
up
into sentence frag
ments with some

white space and
indents
and call it
Poetry.

Well, you can see the problem right away. It’s obvious that this style isn’t really poetry at all. A humorous example of this phenomenon is the gag book The Collected Poems of Donald J. Trump, 2009-2019, which Dr. Wife (then Dr. Girlfriend) got me for my fortieth birthday. The “poetry” consists of our president’s tweets formatted into various blends of shapes and white space akin to my example above. It’s fun and a big, beautiful addition to my collection, but part of the joke is that it’s not poetry (although there is a poetic quality to President Trump’s tweets, at time).

That said, one needn’t harken back to the days of yore to find good poetry. All of today’s examples are from the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. Naturally, there’s tons of great poetry from the first half of the twentieth century (apologies to W. B. Yeats for not making the list this time; you will soon!), but the twenty-first century tends to be moms writing lengthy odes to their children on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with the latter, but the efforts are rarely “poetic” in the truest sense of the word.

But poetry is vitally important, as is the ability to read and analyze it. Consider that large chunks of the Bible consist of poetry. The Book of Psalms is a collection of poems and song lyrics. Song of Solomon is a sensual love poem that depicts both the intense passion of a groom for his bride while also echoing the intense love of The Groom (Jesus Christ) for His Bride (us, the Church).

All that preamble aside, here are four works of poetry and/or collections you should add to your home library:

You can pick up all of these in paperback on Amazon for between $36.88 and $51.88 (Jeremy Miles’s—God Rest his soul—collection in full color is $30, but the greyscale edition is half the price). Centrism Games is the best value at just $5.57, and I highly recommend it.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

TBT: Interminable Heat

It’s another insanely hot summer here in South Carolina, and we had a long drought in June with nary a drop of rain. It makes me wonder how people in pre-modernity survived droughts and famines that lasted for years.

The rains have come, but the days are still quite intense with heat. The afternoon showers are not as routine as I’d like, but they are at least bringing some reprieve in the evenings. Our upstairs unit runs nonstop on sunny days, regardless of where we set the thermostat; one day it was 85 degrees Fahrenheit up there! Our downstairs, thankfully, maintains a reasonable frostiness, even in the heat.

The koi and the minnows seem to be holding up well, however. The minnows don’t seem to mind at all! I’ve noticed, though, that even they stay a bit below the surface on the hottest days. The koi, who usually eat more when it’s hot out, have been eating less than usual; I think they’re enjoying the cooler temperatures a bit further down.

Dr. Wife and I are taking a cruise next week, and its a tour of the Western Caribbean: Mexico, Honduras, Belize, and another stop in Mexico on the way back to Tampa. It’s going to be brutal in the tropics, but at this point, how can it get much worse (perhaps I just jinxed it). One day we’re going to see a Mayan temple, so maybe yours portly will end up roasted on a spit above a pagan altar. Gulp!

With that, here is 23 July 2025’s “Interminable Heat“:

Read More »

Bloggers, Unite: WordCamp US 2026

Note: the following post contains affiliate links.  I receive a portion of any purchases made through these links, at no additional cost to you. Additionally, Automattic is (hopefully) compensating me for promoting WordCamp US 2026; you can get $20 off a general admission ticket with promo code AF26. —TPP

Last month I wrote four posts about WordPress.com and its various features. I’ve been using WordPress.com as my main platform for blogging and shameless self-promotion since 2018, and daily since 2019, so I’ve had eight years of experience working within its ecosystem.

A major part of that ecosystem is the community of writers and readers who share their stories and perspectives on their own WordPress.com sites (or at least in the comments section). It’s been pretty cool to develop links to great writers like Erin over at Existential Ergonomics; Audre Myers at Words on the Word; and Dave at Nebraska Energy Observer (not to mention frequent commenter and contributor Ponty, to whom I owe a deep debt of gratitude for his dedication to yours portly’s scribblings). It’s a sincere joy to exchange ideas with these and other writers, and to create our own little “blogosphere-within-the-blogosphere,” as it were.

An idea that gets floated from time to time is the blogger get-together. “Wouldn’t it be cool if we all met someday?” Surely it would, but the realities of travel, age, family commitments, and the fact that we’re all relative strangers (even if it feels like we’re not on the Internet) makes that dream more elusive than Audre’s beloved Bigfoot.

But what if there was a way to hang out with your favorite bloggers—and meet a lot of other writers, developers, designers, online retailers, and so on—in a safe setting under the auspices of WordPress.com/Automattic?

Well—you probably saw this coming—good news: WordCamp US 2026 (WCUS 2026) is coming to Phoenix, Arizona, for four days of networking, learning, and connecting. The event runs from Sunday, 16 through Wednesday, 19 August 2026 at the Phoenix Convention Center, and it’s only $100!

Actually, it’s only $80 for a general admission ticket with promo code AF26. You can purchase tickets here.

The folks behind Automattic products and services like WordPress.com,  Jetpack, and Akismet (I love Akismet; I would be buried beneath an avalanche of juicy spam if it weren’t for that service) will be there, so I imagine it would be a good opportunity to give in-person feedback (and/or to complain bitterly to the Happiness Engineers—pick your poison) to the people who make this ecosystem possible. Indeed, Sunday, 16 August 2026 is “Contributor Day,” which specifically is about collaborating “with fellow WordPress enthusiasts” to “help build the future of the platform” per the conference’s website.

I’ve never attended a WordPress.com event, but WordCamp US 2026 is the kind of event I’d like to attend if possible (and if airfare from the nearest airport to Phoenix is reasonable). The fact that it’s so affordable (again, just $80 with promo code AF26) makes it tantalizing. I’ve been blogging long enough that getting out to Arizona for a few days to learn more about it from the pros (and the people that make real money doing it) could be a worthwhile investment.

If nothing else, I could maybe write a sequel to my highly unsuccessful collection of travel essays, Arizonan Sojourn, South Carolinian Dreams: And Other Adventures.

But I digress. For those of you with a professional development budget, the $80 ticket price (again, with promo code AF26) is insane for four days of conferencing. If you use any Automattic services for your employer, this conference would be great to attend—your employer only shells out eighty bucks for the conference itself, and you get to go to Phoenix, Arizona for four days and rub elbows with your fellow nerds. Other than the location being in Phoenix in August (imagine the sweat by late afternoon, although I’m assured that the convention center is “fully air-conditioned”), it’d be an easy sell to your boss.

If you had an opportunity to attend WordCamp US 2026, what would you most like to learn? Should yours portly take the plunge, book the flight, and cover this conference in absorbing detail for the blog? Leave a comment and let me know!

Oh, and keep writing!

The Portly Politico is me, Tyler James Cook. I’ve been blogging on WordPress since 2018, and daily since 2019. I love to write about politics, culture, and music, and frequently feature my original music. Check out my musical creations here on the blog or on Bandcamp. —TPP

New Music Tuesday XVII: “Three Geometric Chorales”

Dr. Wife and I had some errands to run last week, and while she was tending to a few things I jotted down today’s piece. I will sometimes keep little bits of staff paper open in my music journals for short musical sketches, and I had three glorious staves waiting for an opportune moment to do some hasty composing.

The result is this set of three chorales. I posted polls on Substack and Telegram asking for feedback about the instrumentation, but results were limited. I initially arranged it for a string trio—violin, viola, and cello—but changed to a woodwind trio of flute, oboe, and bassoon. I think that captured the sound I wanted better.

I imported the WAV from Noteflight into Audacity and applied a “Small Bright Room” reverb effect; an “Wide Synth Pad” chorus effect; and a “Tape” master effect. I then took the audio and pictures of the score and track artwork and imported them all into iMovie. From there, I imported the resulting video into YouTube Create, where I added my favorite filter, “Vaporwave,” and added one bit of text that reads “<–“(C# Locrian)” to indicate that the “A major” section in the handwritten score is, actually, in that highly unusual key signature.

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

One of the flicks on my mental “to view” list for some time now was today’s feature, The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971; that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you). It’s been wickedly hard to track down online, although I’ve seen its sequel, Dr. Phibes Rises Again (same affiliate link as above) available on a number of platforms. For whatever reason, I never cared enough to find the DVD (ibid.)—or to even consider looking for it!

So when the sequel popped up on YouTube a couple of weeks ago, I decided to hunt down the original. Surely YouTube would have it as one of their free (with ads) flicks, yes?

Well, no. But someone—or two someones—had uploaded it to YouTube. I can’t vouch for how legit it is that they’ve done so, but they’ve head the film uploaded for seven years, so I imagine American International Pictures or the copyright holders of the various Great American Songbook tunes in the film don’t care or don’t know about the upload (hopefully I’m not outing them with this review). Regardless, two gentlemen in New Castle, Pennsylvania, have a little horror show called New Castle After Dark (website) in which they dress in the kind of tuxedos nerds wear to the prom. They also smoke lots of cigarettes and drink dark beer while they make some general comments about the flick.

It’s a charming setup, and I appreciated that they didn’t cut into the film too frequently. From what I recall, they do an intro, then host a segment midway through the film, and finally close with some concluding remarks. It’s just the right about of interstitial commentary, and I think it’s super cool that they’re trying to capture the spirit (no pun intended) of late-night horror hosts.

Here’s the flick with their commentary if you want to check it out yourself:

The premise for Dr. Phibes is insanely fun and campy: the titular doctor, who holds dual doctorates in music and theology, seeks revenge on the surgeons who he believes botched his wife’s surgery some years earlier. He methodically murders each doctor according to the Ten Plagues of Egypt from Exodus.

Phibes himself is a gruesome character. While his wife was going into surgery, he attempted to rush back to England from Switzerland. In the process he crashed his car, sustaining injuries that made it impossible for him to talk. To do so, he used his knowledge of music and acoustics to create a voice box (through which he comically drinks some champagne at one point). He also has a full, automaton band that plays jazz and pop standards from the 1920s (the setting of the film) and, anachronistically, the 1930s and 1940s.

Vincent Price portrays the devilishly ingenious doctor, so imagine Price’s stentorian voice filtered through an old landline telephone wire. It’s so goofy and awesome.

Read More »

Lazy Sunday CCCXCV: America 250

Dr. Wife and I enjoyed a productive and delicious Independence Day yesterday. We both slept in fairly late, then she made us a delicious breakfast for lunch. We continued the Sisyphean task of unpacking, until Dr. Wife started getting stir-crazy, so we took some loads to Goodwill and grabbed a couple of ice cream cones at Chick-Fil-A. Dr. Wife made us an incredible dinner of hot dogs, corn on the cob, baked beans, and watermelon, and after our evening walk, she made strawberry shortcakes, which she presented with sparklers!

We didn’t get to see any fireworks—apparently, the big local fireworks displays happened a few days ago—but we heard plenty of them. The dogs don’t get riled up by them, which is a blessing. I imagine we’ll continue to hear fireworks for another evening or two as folks use up the last of their Fourth of July stash.

As such, here are some recent posts about Independence Day:

God Bless America!

—TPP

Happy 250th Birthday, America!

Today marks the 250th birthday of our great nation, the United States of America! On this hot day 250 years ago, delegates to the Second Continental Congress pledged “to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” Their foresight and courage bore the fruit that is America.

Sure, our nation has problems, but today we celebrate 250 years of liberty. Where else in the world can someone worship God as he sees fit and get a pizza at 2 AM while saying spicy things on the Internet without fear of arrest? Even our beloved brothers in Great Britain—our cousins, our mom!—can’t speak the Truth without fear of the bobbies arresting them while they bleed out in the streets.

To commemorate this day, here’s a rendition of “Stars and Stripes Forever” from our old group Brass to the Future, including a special guest on the second tuba. From left to right, there’s Joey on trumpet; yours portly on tenor sax (not a brass instrument, but oh, well!); Ricky on tuba; Davis (special guest) on tuba; Shrimp St. Thomas (my brother) on trombone; and David on euphonium/baritone. Stick around for the “piccolo” solo, which Shrimp whistles!

God Bless America!

—TPP

Phone it in Friday CXXXVI: YouTube Roundup CXCVI: Loaches

A couple of weekends back Dr. Wife and I purchased three weather loaches (sometimes called “dojo loaches“) from a seller on eBay. The loaches were due to arrive this past Monday, which was perfect timing: it was after Dr. Wife’s residency graduation and the related weekend of festivities.

Before the dogs and I departed (one last time—praise the Lord!) for North Carolina and the graduation weekend, I received an e-mail update: the loaches were arriving early! It turns out they showed up on our front stoop sometime last Friday, the day of Dr. Wife’s graduation dinner.

After doing some hasty research (talking to CoPilot), I learned that loaches ship very well and can tolerate the low oxygen environment of a mylar bag for up to a week. The fish had shipped out of Texas around midweek, so they were safe to sit on our front stoop for a day.

Of course, the South Carolina heat is intense right now, and when I arrived home, the bricks of our front stoop were emanating heat. The seller packaged the loaches well, including a few ice packs to keep things cold; those packs were completely thawed out. Upon getting the box inside and open, I could immediately tell that one loach had not survived the journey, with a second in questionable condition.

I began the usual process of introducing new fish to the pond: floating the bag for about thirty minutes so the water temperature in the bag could adjust to the pond’s temperature, then opening the bag and ladling in some pond water, allowing the bagged loaches to float for another fifteen minutes or so. When I added the water, I reached down to pull out the deceased one; in doing so, the other loaches began moving quite actively. Huzzah!

In the aquarium trade, sellers that ship fish almost always send an extra fish or two in case of any “D.O.A.s” (dead-on-arrivals). This seller was no different: they sent us four loaches, so with the loss, we still had the full contingent of three we purchased. Naturally, I would have loved for all four of them to have survived, but such are the risks.

As of the time of writing (Thursday morning), I have not found any loaches dead in our filter, so they seem to be doing well.

With loaches, we won’t see them too frequently. They largely live at the bottom of the pond, burrowing into the soil. That burrowing aerates the soil and keeps it fresh, releasing helpful nutrients into the water column. They’ll also eat detritus and other little dribs and drabs that drift down there.

They’re called “weather” loaches because they are responsive to changes in barometric pressure (indeed, they require a certain number of cold days in the winter and a certain shift in pressure to induce mating and breeding behaviors. If there is a sudden drop in pressure, they will (likely) surface. They also tend to surface after the other fish have fed.

We spent a little bit extra to get a golden color morph so we can see the loaches (and, less importantly, to match the aesthetic of our rosy red minnows) more frequently. They are really cool critters, something between a fish and an eel.

Today’s video examines the introduction of these humorous animals into our koi pond.

Read More »

TBT^340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,431,768,211,456: Happy Birthday, America!

I’ve finally reblogged a single post enough that the “TBT^x^2” broke Windows’s calculator program, so I had to use calculator.net‘s Big Number Calculator to solve 18,446,744,073,709,551,616^2. I have no idea how one would even enunciate 340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,431,768,211,456 aloud.

The United States is celebrating another big number in two days, it’s 250th birthday! With the move Dr. Wife and I have failed to put patriotic bunting and miniature American flags, and I’m woefully unprepared in the borderline illegal fireworks department, but we’re looking forward to a relaxed day celebrating our nation with hot dogs (and our normal dogs, Murphy and Nugget).

I don’t have quite the same unbridled optimism that I did a year ago, but I think the debacle in Iran has had the positive side effect of waking up our president to the pernicious influence of the foreign policy hawks around him. It will also hopefully result in the United States playing a more muted role in the Middle East, leaving Israel to tend to its backyard without us stepping in, golem-like, every time an Arab sneezes in the direction of Tel Aviv. That whole exploding pagers things suggests the Israelis have the tech and ingenuity to handle things on their own.

Regardless, I’m feeling the Spirit of ’76. God Bless America!

With that, here is 3 July 2025’s “TBT^18,446,744,073,709,551,616: Happy Birthday America!“:

Read More »