Monday Morning Movie Review: The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

One of the flicks on my mental “to view” list for some time now was today’s feature, The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971; that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you). It’s been wickedly hard to track down online, although I’ve seen its sequel, Dr. Phibes Rises Again (same affiliate link as above) available on a number of platforms. For whatever reason, I never cared enough to find the DVD (ibid.)—or to even consider looking for it!

So when the sequel popped up on YouTube a couple of weeks ago, I decided to hunt down the original. Surely YouTube would have it as one of their free (with ads) flicks, yes?

Well, no. But someone—or two someones—had uploaded it to YouTube. I can’t vouch for how legit it is that they’ve done so, but they’ve head the film uploaded for seven years, so I imagine American International Pictures or the copyright holders of the various Great American Songbook tunes in the film don’t care or don’t know about the upload (hopefully I’m not outing them with this review). Regardless, two gentlemen in New Castle, Pennsylvania, have a little horror show called New Castle After Dark (website) in which they dress in the kind of tuxedos nerds wear to the prom. They also smoke lots of cigarettes and drink dark beer while they make some general comments about the flick.

It’s a charming setup, and I appreciated that they didn’t cut into the film too frequently. From what I recall, they do an intro, then host a segment midway through the film, and finally close with some concluding remarks. It’s just the right about of interstitial commentary, and I think it’s super cool that they’re trying to capture the spirit (no pun intended) of late-night horror hosts.

Here’s the flick with their commentary if you want to check it out yourself:

The premise for Dr. Phibes is insanely fun and campy: the titular doctor, who holds dual doctorates in music and theology, seeks revenge on the surgeons who he believes botched his wife’s surgery some years earlier. He methodically murders each doctor according to the Ten Plagues of Egypt from Exodus.

Phibes himself is a gruesome character. While his wife was going into surgery, he attempted to rush back to England from Switzerland. In the process he crashed his car, sustaining injuries that made it impossible for him to talk. To do so, he used his knowledge of music and acoustics to create a voice box (through which he comically drinks some champagne at one point). He also has a full, automaton band that plays jazz and pop standards from the 1920s (the setting of the film) and, anachronistically, the 1930s and 1940s.

Vincent Price portrays the devilishly ingenious doctor, so imagine Price’s stentorian voice filtered through an old landline telephone wire. It’s so goofy and awesome.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: The Last Man on Earth (1964)

I started writing this review Sunday evening and decided to spend time with Dr. Wife, who is now done with residency and living here in our South Carolina house permanently! This morning was full of errands, including taking Nugget to the vet for her annual visit and taking care of things around the house. Ergo, I’m finally getting around to finishing up this review. —TPP

Also, this post includes some Amazon Affiliate links (the book and movie titles). I receive a portion of any purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you. —TPP

On Saturday I wrote about Richard Matheson’s novella I Am Legend, which I enjoyed reading over the past week. What prompted me to purchase the book was re-watching its 1964 film adaptation, The Last Man on Earth. The film stars Vincent Price is the role of Robert Neville, the titular last man on Earth not to succumb to a terrible plague that turns people into vampires.

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TBT^4,294,967,296: End the Income Tax

Once again it’s tax season in the United States.  I won’t bore you—again—with the details of our bizarre, nightmarish tax situation, but to suffice it to say that, at the time of writing, yours portly and his dear Dr. Wife are about $5500 poorer and Uncle Sam is probably paying for a federal inmates gender reassignment surgery.  Next year will be much easier, but it’s always a pain.

I think what I resent most is that the federal government is now party to every economic exchange I make outside of purchasing a brownie from a sidewalk bake sale.  Any money I earn gets reported.  Indeed, I probably report more than I really need to, because I do take seriously Jesus’ instruction to “render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s.”  I just wish Caesar was spending my money in the national interest, not in the niche interests of some special interest group or immigrant group that got here fifteen seconds ago.

But it is—for another year, at least—done.  Now I’m free to enjoy Spring Break and to wait, watchful and eel-like, for next year.

With that, here is 10 April 2025’s “TBT^65,536: End the Income Tax“:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Wuthering Heights (2026)

Dr. Wife and I went to see Emerald Fennell’s adaptation/reinterpretation of Wuthering Heights (2026) the other weekend after a long day of lugging our stuff to our new home.  The director’s name—which sounds like a extremely colorful spice—should give some insight into what the film was like.  I’ve never read Emily Brontë novel—yes, literature girls, you can sacrifice me to Emily Dickinson—but Dr. Wife had, so she filled me in some of the details.

The original novel is the bleak tale of a doomed romance denied by the strictures of propriety, social class, and cash.  The movie is an excessively plodding first act that culminates in twenty minutes of sexual depravity followed by a tragic death.

The film is gaining notoriety because it’s smut.  My wife kept calling it “Wuthering Glutes,” and we had fun making jokes involving the word “wuthering” and other anatomical features.  The popular consensus is correct:  it is basically an excuse for a swarthy heartthrob to assert his will over Margot Robbie while women swoon lustily.

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Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

Dr. Wife and I went to see the smutty literary adaptation of Wuthering Heights (2026) this weekend, not because Dr. Wife is into that kind of thing, but because there’s been so much buzz around the film, she wanted to be part of the cultural moment.  I was going to review that film today, but that’ll have to go on the backburner due to time constraints.

The quick version:  like all modern movies, it’s thirty minutes too long; the script is flabby and ponderous; and the middle act is basically just chick lit p-word smut.  It setup several ideas that never had payoffs.  It did have amazing sets and costumes, and the sense of bleak tragedy from the novel (which, to be clear, I haven’t read) was, according to my wife, there, even if the film took great liberties with the source material.

But I digress.  A piano student of mine brought in a little Mario doll he’s had since he was a baby.  He asked me at the end of his lesson to film a quick movie review of the 2023 hit The Super Mario Bros. Movie; I obliged:

That being the case, I figured I’d reblog this review of the film from 2023.

With that, here 22 May 2023’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)“:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty Praises “24”

Just a heads-up:  this review contains a lot of Amazon Affiliate links.  I receive a portion of any purchases made through these links, at no additional cost to you. —TPP

Good ol’ Ponty sent over an unexpected treat:  this excellent review of the early 2000s hit television series 24—at least, it’s his review of the first three seasons, along with his initial impressions of the fourth.

I remember when this show debuted.  It was the perfect show for the War on Terror, back when that conflict still enjoyed some popular support among the American people.  It was quintessentially Bush-era American:  a brave lone warrior, coupled with a good counter-terrorism team, found the terrorists, while also resorting to (and often being the victim of) “enhanced interrogation techniques.”  It was a time when we wanted terrorists, both on-screen and in real life, to get roughed up indiscriminately, “human rights” be damned!

24 delivered.  I hadn’t thought of the show much since those halcyon—and, it turns out, dying—days of cable television until Ponty sent along this review.  So come bask with us in those pre-Great Recession days, when it seemed like maybe we could actually install functioning, Western-style democracies in the Middle East.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of the television series 24:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: 28 Days Later (2002)

The next film in the 28 [Unit of Time] series, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple hits theaters this weekend, and yours portly is hoping that Dr. Wife and I can squeeze in a matinee showing this Saturday.  It also seems that Shudder has a couple of the earlier films on its service, including 28 Days Later (2002), which I stayed up late last night to finish watching.

I wasn’t sure I had seen this flick before, but several of the key scenes did click with me (like the father getting a single drop of infected blood in his eye, causing him to go made with the Rage virus).  I have seen it, but I’d forgotten most of the major plot points and the ending.  With the new film releasing this weekend, it was a good opportunity to refresh my memory (Shudder also has 28 Weeks Later [2007], which I watched recently as well).  I’d forgotten what a great film it is.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Gremlins (1984)

Over the glorious Christmas Break Dr. Wife and I sat down to watch one of my favorite childhood flicks, Gremlins (1984; that’s an Amazon Affiliate link to a Blu-Ray of the film, along with Gremlins 2 and The Goonies; I received a portion of any purchase made through that link, at no additional cost to you).  She had never seen it before, and as it is a Christmas movie (at least, it takes place at Christmas), I thought we should give it a watch.  I also knew that she would love Gizmo, the plucky Mogwai (she did).

I remember a similar scenario many years ago with my older brother’s first wife:  we all sat down and watched Gremlins, which she had never seen before, and it was a delightful experience.  Dr. Wife was feeling under-the-weather when we did our viewing together, but she thoroughly enjoyed it.  I did as well, even though I did not enjoy wrapping Christmas presents (poorly) while we watched—ha!

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Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: Nefarious (2023)

Last year, when Dr. Wife was still Dr. Girlfriend, we sat down and watched an incredible movie exploring demonic possession and spiritual warfare.

That film was 2023’s Nefarious (that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you).  It’s one of the best films I’ve seen in years, and it’s an overtly Christian film (without making it feel like it’s overtly Christian).  It’s an excellent example of how Christians can make compelling art that espouses our beliefs culturally.

With that, here is 2 December 2024’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: Nefarious (2023)“:

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Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)

Back in 2022 a couple of my regular contributors and I each took turns reviewing the 1951 film adaptation of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol (for links to all three reviews, click here).  The film has since became almost annual viewing for yours portly, a tradition I hope to continue with Dr. Wife.

With all the busyness of the wedding and last week’s school play (as well as this week’s school concert), I decided to take this morning to look back at my review from three years ago.

The film is a poignant reminder to keep the joy of Christmas alive in our hearts, something that is often difficult as the trials of adulthood responsibility exact their toll.  But Christmas is the time of year to celebrate the Birth of Jesus, and to recapture—to the extent possible—the simple magic of childhood.

With that, here is 19 December 2022’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)“:

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