Monday Morning Movie Review: Superbowl Halftime Show

After a long day in the parks we got back to our rooms last night and settled in for sub sandwiches and television.  I had forgotten that the Super Bowl was airing last night, but my older brother did not, and he had the game on in our room.  While I rested and unpacked, the game entered halftime, featuring the infamous Puerto Rican rapper Bad Bunny, began to unfold.

By the end of the show—or by the point I stopped watching to get dinner in the other rooms—I was convinced that we needed to grant Puerto Rico its independence (while probably maintaining some naval bases there or the like).  It was the least American halftime show I’ve ever seen.

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Carrie (1976)

Last week I found time to watch a few flicks, among them 1976’s Carrie, the coming-of-telekinesis story of Carrie, who is bullied relentlessly both at school and home.  Her mother’s Pharisaical view of redemption (essentially, there is none) makes Carrie’s life sheltered; meanwhile, Carrie’s classmates bully her in part because of her mother’s insanity.

Family lore has made this film legendary.  According to legend, my parents went to see this film on their honeymoon in 1977.  I don’t know exactly when it occurred, but my dad—who was raised Pentecostal (Church of God – Cleveland, Tennessee) was so beside himself, he walked out.  My mom (raised Southern Baptist, and, therefore, a bit less bee-hived in her hairdos) was a fan of Stephen King—then an emerging author in many respects—and it apparently was a shock to her that my dad reacted as he did.

Having just seen the film, I can see why my dad got so uncomfortable.  It literally opens with a quasi-pornographic shot of Carrie showering herself after gym class—and then receiving a visit from Aunt Flo.  There’s also the iconic “prayer closet” with a Jesus sporting menacing, glowing eyes.  The anti-Christian messaging is pretty strong.

That said, the film is not, I would argue, primarily a screed against religion, although that is a part of it.  Carrie’s mom is a nut, but anyone with even a passing familiarity with Christ’s Teachings would realize that her religion is not Christianity.  It’s some kind of perversion of something resembling Christianity into a legalistic tangle of extreme ascetism coupled with brutality.

Instead, Carrie is very much a coming-of-age story, in which the sheltered Carrie attempts to spread her wings and become her own woman, but instead is met only with resistance at every time.  Having developed no healthy relationships—and faced only mockery and scorn from her mother, her schoolmates, and even the principal—she lashes out in the film’s fiery conclusion.

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: 28 Days Later (2002)

The next film in the 28 [Unit of Time] series, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple hits theaters this weekend, and yours portly is hoping that Dr. Wife and I can squeeze in a matinee showing this Saturday.  It also seems that Shudder has a couple of the earlier films on its service, including 28 Days Later (2002), which I stayed up late last night to finish watching.

I wasn’t sure I had seen this flick before, but several of the key scenes did click with me (like the father getting a single drop of infected blood in his eye, causing him to go made with the Rage virus).  I have seen it, but I’d forgotten most of the major plot points and the ending.  With the new film releasing this weekend, it was a good opportunity to refresh my memory (Shudder also has 28 Weeks Later [2007], which I watched recently as well).  I’d forgotten what a great film it is.

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Gremlins (1984)

Over the glorious Christmas Break Dr. Wife and I sat down to watch one of my favorite childhood flicks, Gremlins (1984; that’s an Amazon Affiliate link to a Blu-Ray of the film, along with Gremlins 2 and The Goonies; I received a portion of any purchase made through that link, at no additional cost to you).  She had never seen it before, and as it is a Christmas movie (at least, it takes place at Christmas), I thought we should give it a watch.  I also knew that she would love Gizmo, the plucky Mogwai (she did).

I remember a similar scenario many years ago with my older brother’s first wife:  we all sat down and watched Gremlins, which she had never seen before, and it was a delightful experience.  Dr. Wife was feeling under-the-weather when we did our viewing together, but she thoroughly enjoyed it.  I did as well, even though I did not enjoy wrapping Christmas presents (poorly) while we watched—ha!

Read More »

Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

With Christmas just a few days, I’m continuing to look back to Christmas movie reviews of yesteryear.  Today, I’m reflecting on what might be the quintessential Christmas movie, 1946’s It’s a Wonderful Life (that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of every purchase made through that link, at no additional cost to you).

I have a vivid early memory of watching the movie on Christmas night at my late paternal grandparents’ house, and staying up very late to finish it.  My Papa was sitting in his recliner, and my cousins and I were on the floor.  It’s wild to consider that a black-and-white film could hold the attention of a roomful of rambunctious younguns, but that speaks to the quality and the magic of this film.

With that, here is 29 December 2022’s “Delayed Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)“:

Read More »

Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: Nefarious (2023)

Last year, when Dr. Wife was still Dr. Girlfriend, we sat down and watched an incredible movie exploring demonic possession and spiritual warfare.

That film was 2023’s Nefarious (that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you).  It’s one of the best films I’ve seen in years, and it’s an overtly Christian film (without making it feel like it’s overtly Christian).  It’s an excellent example of how Christians can make compelling art that espouses our beliefs culturally.

With that, here is 2 December 2024’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: Nefarious (2023)“:

Read More »

Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)

Back in 2022 a couple of my regular contributors and I each took turns reviewing the 1951 film adaptation of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol (for links to all three reviews, click here).  The film has since became almost annual viewing for yours portly, a tradition I hope to continue with Dr. Wife.

With all the busyness of the wedding and last week’s school play (as well as this week’s school concert), I decided to take this morning to look back at my review from three years ago.

The film is a poignant reminder to keep the joy of Christmas alive in our hearts, something that is often difficult as the trials of adulthood responsibility exact their toll.  But Christmas is the time of year to celebrate the Birth of Jesus, and to recapture—to the extent possible—the simple magic of childhood.

With that, here is 19 December 2022’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)“:

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty Praises: The Usual Suspects (1995)

Good old Ponty sent along this awesome review before I headed out on my honeymoon, which saves me the creative effort of crafting a thoughtful review of some crappy movie after being unplugged for the past week.

Instead, you get this great review of an awesome movie.  Anytime Italo Calvino is referenced in a movie review, you know it’s going to be good.

I’m sure I’ve seen The Usual Suspects—or I thought I was sure until I read Ponty’s review.  Now… I’m not so sure.  Based on his review, I’ll have to head his advice to see it posthaste.  Perhaps Dr. Wife and I can enjoy it over Christmas.  I’m still planning on showing her Gremlins (1984).

Just a note—several of the links in this review are Amazon Affiliate links.  I receive a portion of any purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.  I’ve marked these links with an asterisk (*).

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 1995’s The Usual Suspects:

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: The Blob (1988)

Yours portly has had very little time for watching flicks lately, but I managed to squeeze in the 1988 remake of The Blob.  It and the 1958 original are both films I’ve known about my entire life, but I have never seen either of the flicks.  I think an episode of Muppet Babies featured clips of the titular creature from the 1988 film, so I had a good image of the pink, oozing goo from my early childhood, but otherwise all I knew about either films was that they involved a gelatinous, amorphous entity absorbing people lethally.

Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Guest Review: Final Destination (2000)

Spooky Season IV is out today!

Ponty delivers up some great posts this week, giving yours portly a bit of a break during a particularly busy season.  He worked overtime (complete with overtime pay—zero times 1.5 is still zero!) to get this fun review to me in time to run in the vaunted Monday Morning Movie Review slot.

I remember seeing today’s film around the time it came out, when I was in high school (or possibly a few years later, in college; the early 2000s are a distant, warm blur to me now), and it made me really think about death, the way one does when at a funeral.  I still think about this flick every time I board a flight, especially in those first few moments after takeoff.  I breathe a tiny sigh of relief once the plane has finished its ascent.

I’ll let Ponty explain the rest.  With that, here is Ponty’s review of Final Destination (2000):

Read More »