Monday Morning Movie Review: Gremlins (1984)

Over the glorious Christmas Break Dr. Wife and I sat down to watch one of my favorite childhood flicks, Gremlins (1984; that’s an Amazon Affiliate link to a Blu-Ray of the film, along with Gremlins 2 and The Goonies; I received a portion of any purchase made through that link, at no additional cost to you).  She had never seen it before, and as it is a Christmas movie (at least, it takes place at Christmas), I thought we should give it a watch.  I also knew that she would love Gizmo, the plucky Mogwai (she did).

I remember a similar scenario many years ago with my older brother’s first wife:  we all sat down and watched Gremlins, which she had never seen before, and it was a delightful experience.  Dr. Wife was feeling under-the-weather when we did our viewing together, but she thoroughly enjoyed it.  I did as well, even though I did not enjoy wrapping Christmas presents (poorly) while we watched—ha!

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Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

With Christmas just a few days, I’m continuing to look back to Christmas movie reviews of yesteryear.  Today, I’m reflecting on what might be the quintessential Christmas movie, 1946’s It’s a Wonderful Life (that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of every purchase made through that link, at no additional cost to you).

I have a vivid early memory of watching the movie on Christmas night at my late paternal grandparents’ house, and staying up very late to finish it.  My Papa was sitting in his recliner, and my cousins and I were on the floor.  It’s wild to consider that a black-and-white film could hold the attention of a roomful of rambunctious younguns, but that speaks to the quality and the magic of this film.

With that, here is 29 December 2022’s “Delayed Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)“:

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Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: Nefarious (2023)

Last year, when Dr. Wife was still Dr. Girlfriend, we sat down and watched an incredible movie exploring demonic possession and spiritual warfare.

That film was 2023’s Nefarious (that’s an Amazon Affiliate link; I receive a portion of any purchases made through that link, at no additional cost to you).  It’s one of the best films I’ve seen in years, and it’s an overtly Christian film (without making it feel like it’s overtly Christian).  It’s an excellent example of how Christians can make compelling art that espouses our beliefs culturally.

With that, here is 2 December 2024’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: Nefarious (2023)“:

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Memorable Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)

Back in 2022 a couple of my regular contributors and I each took turns reviewing the 1951 film adaptation of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol (for links to all three reviews, click here).  The film has since became almost annual viewing for yours portly, a tradition I hope to continue with Dr. Wife.

With all the busyness of the wedding and last week’s school play (as well as this week’s school concert), I decided to take this morning to look back at my review from three years ago.

The film is a poignant reminder to keep the joy of Christmas alive in our hearts, something that is often difficult as the trials of adulthood responsibility exact their toll.  But Christmas is the time of year to celebrate the Birth of Jesus, and to recapture—to the extent possible—the simple magic of childhood.

With that, here is 19 December 2022’s “Monday Morning Movie Review: A Very Portly Christmas: A Christmas Carol (1951)“:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty Praises: The Usual Suspects (1995)

Good old Ponty sent along this awesome review before I headed out on my honeymoon, which saves me the creative effort of crafting a thoughtful review of some crappy movie after being unplugged for the past week.

Instead, you get this great review of an awesome movie.  Anytime Italo Calvino is referenced in a movie review, you know it’s going to be good.

I’m sure I’ve seen The Usual Suspects—or I thought I was sure until I read Ponty’s review.  Now… I’m not so sure.  Based on his review, I’ll have to head his advice to see it posthaste.  Perhaps Dr. Wife and I can enjoy it over Christmas.  I’m still planning on showing her Gremlins (1984).

Just a note—several of the links in this review are Amazon Affiliate links.  I receive a portion of any purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.  I’ve marked these links with an asterisk (*).

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 1995’s The Usual Suspects:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: The Blob (1988)

Yours portly has had very little time for watching flicks lately, but I managed to squeeze in the 1988 remake of The Blob.  It and the 1958 original are both films I’ve known about my entire life, but I have never seen either of the flicks.  I think an episode of Muppet Babies featured clips of the titular creature from the 1988 film, so I had a good image of the pink, oozing goo from my early childhood, but otherwise all I knew about either films was that they involved a gelatinous, amorphous entity absorbing people lethally.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Guest Review: Final Destination (2000)

Spooky Season IV is out today!

Ponty delivers up some great posts this week, giving yours portly a bit of a break during a particularly busy season.  He worked overtime (complete with overtime pay—zero times 1.5 is still zero!) to get this fun review to me in time to run in the vaunted Monday Morning Movie Review slot.

I remember seeing today’s film around the time it came out, when I was in high school (or possibly a few years later, in college; the early 2000s are a distant, warm blur to me now), and it made me really think about death, the way one does when at a funeral.  I still think about this flick every time I board a flight, especially in those first few moments after takeoff.  I breathe a tiny sigh of relief once the plane has finished its ascent.

I’ll let Ponty explain the rest.  With that, here is Ponty’s review of Final Destination (2000):

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Hitchcock Films

Yours portly has been working on several higher-level, real-life projects lately (besides planning a wedding in about six weeks), so today’s post is going to be a very quick reflection on the films of Alfred Hitchcock.

Shudder has featured several of the director’s films lately, and it’s been a pleasure to revisit them.  In particular, I’ve watched Psycho (1960), Vertigo (1958) and Rear Window (1954).  The Birds (1963), which I saw in the theater two years ago, is also on the streaming platform, but I’ve yet to re-watch it.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Spree (2020)

Yours portly is playing catch-up on the blog after a grueling Homecoming Week at work.  Apologies for delayed and/or missing posts lately.  —TPP

I’m not a huge fan of “found footage” films, most of which are just knock-offs of The Blair Witch Project (1999).  Of course, I see the appeal for studios:  these flicks are cheap to make, and offer (at least in theory) a more visceral experience.  There are exceptions (such as today’s film), but found footage flicks typically devolve into lots of shaky camera work and improbably perfectly placed cameras that always seem to capture the exact video and audio that they need to tell the story.

Naturally, that’s because it’s all directed and staged, but it reveals the lie inherent in these films.  Far from being “found,” the footage is actually quite curated—but in a sloppy manner to create the illusion of us just picking up someone’s perfectly edited (in-camera!) VHS tape.

Anyone who has ever had the misfortune of reviewing security camera footage will know that they rarely capture anything worthwhile.  The footage is too grainy to identify anyone positively; audio is lacking or non-existent; footage gets overwritten with new footage quickly.  The frustration for law-abiding citizens, of course, is that security cameras never seem to get the right angle to catch criminals, but always keeps an eye on the rest of us.  CCTV might help keep down crime, but it really just ends up monitoring the rest of us.  It’s the definition of anarcho-tyranny.

But I digress.  I recently watched a good found footage film, 2020’s Spree.  It’s a horrific dark comedy, mostly because it shows the extreme toll of living in a terminally-online world, in which shallow and hallow people gauge their self-worth in terms of likes, impressions, and reactions.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

When I was very, very young, I saw Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983), probably recorded to a VHS during one of the rare free Disney Channel weekends, and it terrified me.  The images from the film, particularly the scene where the demonic circus’s parade searches for two young boys through the streets of Green Town, have always stuck with me.

Based on the novel of the same name by Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes blends fantasy and horror elements with an ostensibly child-friendly story into a spooky tale of friendship, fear, courage, and resisting sin.

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