TBT: Hump Day Hoax

Last year, my little town made national headlines when our mayor claimed that a mysterious, sticky yellow substance on her vehicle was evidence of a “hate crime.”  The investigation—which involved a Darlington County Sheriff’s deputy looking at the car—revealed it was pollen.

At the time, I thought that the mayor was pandering for headlines (even though what I wrote at the time was more generous).  But the likelier answer is she’s just stupid—sweet, to be sure, but stupid.

Also, it’s sad that many black Americans exist in a world so haunted by race-hustlers that they see hooded Klansmen committing acts of racially-motivated pollination around every corner.  That’s surely the vast minority of black Americans, but that such blinkered conspiratorial thinking is so prevalent is disconcerting (and that’s coming from someone with a conspiratorial cast of mind).

I decided to revive this piece for TBT because filing opens tomorrow for an open Town Council seat in Lamar.  One of our local councilmen resigned, so the town is holding an open election on 12 May 2020.  The filing fee is just $31.

Lamar Town Council Special Election

I’m still a newcomer to town, but for $31, my thinking is, “Why not run?”  I see a great deal of potential for my adoptive home town.  I also believe everyday citizens—not just well-heeled businessmen and attorneys—should run for public office.

We’ll see.  Regardless, here’s 2019’s “Hump Day Hoax“:

It’s that point in the semester where everything is coming to a head all at once, so today’s post is about 12-14 hours late to the party.  Indeed, it was only about fifteen minutes before writing this post that I stumbled upon an article with a local flavor.

It seems the mayor of my adopted hometown, Lamar, South Carolina, believes that a racial hate crime was committed against her.  Her vehicle was covered in a sticky yellow substance that resembled spray paint, she claimed.

After a brief investigation—it probably involved running a finger across the hood of the car—the Darlington County sheriff’s deputy determined the mystery substance was—GASP!—pollen.

You can read the full story here: http://www.gopusa.com/hate-crime-against-darnell-mcpherson-s-c-mayor-turns-out-to-be-pollen/

I’ve met Lamar’s mayor—my mayor—before, and Mayor McPherson is a pleasant and welcoming lady.  I met her when I went to town hall to setup garbage and sewage service at my home.

Lamar is a very small town—the population, according to the 2010 census, was slightly less than 1000—and it still functions on a timetable that is even slower than the rest of the South.  In true, old-school Southern tradition, local government offices shut down on Wednesday (as do some local businesses, if I’m not mistaken), and many folks get their mail at the Post Office, rather than a mailbox (my mail wasn’t delivered for about two weeks, until a neighbor told me I had to move the box across the street, otherwise our rural route carrier wasn’t going to stop).

Needless to say, it runs on a small staff, so Mayor McPherson was in there with the town’s two administrative assistants, processing water bills and the like.  I appreciated her dedication and friendliness, and she encouraged me to get involved in the community.

As such, it’s disappointing to see this kind of hysteria from her.  From the tone of the article, she sounds like she sincerely believes some misdeed was done against her—although I’m probably being overly generous.  The Jussie Smollett hoax was clearly too ludicrous to be true; maybe the Case of the Hooded Pollinator is the same situation.

Sick Hump Day

Last night during my local concert band’s fall concert, I started feeling excessively full.  Chalking it up to the Wendy’s “4 for $4” meal I’d wolfed down beforehand, I didn’t think much of it, but it was not a very pleasant sensation.  I could feel the rockets getting ready to fly during our finale, the good bits from Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture.

I made it home and made the mad dash for the bathroom.  Without getting too bogged down in the gory details, I had succumbed to a nasty stomach virus that is circulating in my family at the moment.

So today has seen me fighting nausea, painful cramps in my legs, hands, and joints (I think due to dehydration), and the effects of a largely sleepless night.  I managed to get to the grocery store in town and load up on Powerade, ginger ale, chicken noodle soup, and bananas—the ancient home remedy of my people.

Here’s hoping tomorrow sees me on the mend.  I’m still unable to keep down most solids, although I had a banana at lunch.

Back to our regular schedule tomorrow.  Your prayers are appreciated.

Hump Day Hodgepodge: Testing Reflections

It’s a busy week here in the world of yours portly.  The end of the first quarter is approaching rapidly, so every spare moment has been dedicated to chipping away at a mountain of history quizzes and tests.  Needless to say, it’s slow going.

As such, school is on my mind—as it is pretty much every waking moment of August through May.  Fellow teachers will understand that teaching is a profession that consumes your mental energy constantly.

Today the school is undertaking the pre-administration of the PSAT, the l’il brother of the SAT, which I proctored this weekend.  Pre-administration is the process whereby students bubble in all of the sensitive personal information on an elaborate Scantron so they can receive their scores—and send them to the gaping maw of the academic-industrial complex.

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