Tag: guest contributor

Guest Post: Treasure Island

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Tom over at Free Speech Backlash recently put out a call for writers, to which I responded.  However, as so often is the case in life, I’ve not contributed a single word since our initial exchange, but he obligingly sent a piece to me.  And, boy, what a piece it is!

Everyone loves penguins—or so I thought.  Tom makes a pretty compelling case for why they’re actually quite frustrating creatures.  More interestingly, however, this piece—about rehoming thousands of angry penguins—points out how mass media hysteria and environmental lunacy misses the penguins for the icebergs (in this case, bleeding hearts over obnoxious animals win out over concerns about oily water getting into a nuclear power plant).

It also gives a humorous look at humanity’s hubris, especially in the sciences.  There are few things that induce such delicious Schadenfreude in yours portly like witnessing an expensive boondoggle with official scientific backing going fins up.

With that, here is Tom with “Treasure Island”:

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Ponty Pans: Ghost of Yotei

The Portly Politico5 Comments

Ponty has done real yeoman’s work this week, helping to cover some key posts for yours portly.  He delivers once again with this review of sequel.  He loved the original; as for the sequel, well… read on!

Sequels are an interesting thing in video games, something about which I’ll opine on some other time.  It’s fun going back to the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), for example, back before any “knew” what a video game sequel should be.  Just look at the second installments in the Super Mario Bros. and Legend of Zelda franchises for prime examples of how wildly different sequels can be from their originals.

Now, the expectation feels something a bit like what we see in the film industry:  take the original concept, but make it bigger.  Unfortunately, widespread wokeification over the past decade has twisted that into “take the original concept, but make it woker.”  To be fair, Ponty does not point to wokeness as the downfall of this game; rather, he offers up a very detailed and well-supported analysis as to why this sequel fails to live up to the grandeur and beauty of its predecessor.

One other note:  several of the links in this post are Amazon Affiliate links; I receive a portion of any proceeds made through those links, at no additional cost to you.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of Ghost of Yotei:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Guest Review: Final Destination (2000)

The Portly Politico2 Comments

Spooky Season IV is out today!

Ponty delivers up some great posts this week, giving yours portly a bit of a break during a particularly busy season.  He worked overtime (complete with overtime pay—zero times 1.5 is still zero!) to get this fun review to me in time to run in the vaunted Monday Morning Movie Review slot.

I remember seeing today’s film around the time it came out, when I was in high school (or possibly a few years later, in college; the early 2000s are a distant, warm blur to me now), and it made me really think about death, the way one does when at a funeral.  I still think about this flick every time I board a flight, especially in those first few moments after takeoff.  I breathe a tiny sigh of relief once the plane has finished its ascent.

I’ll let Ponty explain the rest.  With that, here is Ponty’s review of Final Destination (2000):

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Ponty Praises: The Descent (2005)

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Ponty is back with another great movie review, this week featuring the claustrophobic thriller of 2005’s The Descent.  The film explores the tension of being trapped in the dark with something sinister and lethal—a core human fear.

When I was a kid, we took a big trip to the mountains to visit my great-grandmother in the mountains of western Virginia.  On that trip we visited Mammoth Cave, a large cave system in Kentucky, and I believe Bat Cave in North Carolina as well (I could very well be conflating multiple trips into one in my mind).  At one point on a guided tour of the caves, deep underground (we took an elevator to descend into the chamber), the tour guide turned off the lights in the cavern.  The darkness was so total, so complete, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.  I think I instinctively moved closer to my family so I at least had some sense of security.

That experience very much captures, albeit in a very safe, tame, and controlled manner, what this flick feels like to watch.  We take it for granted that, even in the dead of night, there’s usually some source of light:  the moon, a cellphone, an alarm clock, the soft green of a charger indicating it’s doing its job.  Total blackness—complete darkness—is something truly unsettling.

Ponder that as you enjoy Ponty’s review of The Descent (2005):

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Ponty Ponders Attack of the Meth Gator (2024)

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Good ol’ Ponty is back with another B-movie review.  2023 was apparently the year of exploitation films about drug-addicted animals, with Cocaine Bear (2023) as the prime example of this bizarre subgenre.  I wonder if any desperate indie filmmakers made Fentanyl Fox or Oxy Otter or the like.

Well, somebody made Attack of the Meth Gator (2024), which demonstrates well the B-movie tendency to jump on the latest fad and churn as many bucks out of it as possible.  The Asylum made the film, which should come as no surprise—they’re the same folks behind the terrible-but-popular Sharknado franchise.

Apparently, the film is based on a joke Tweet (long since deleted) from a police department in Tennessee, warning residents not to flush their drugs, lest gators become hyper-aggressive “meth gators.”  Such a thing might not be possible, but even the remotest possibility is too terrifying and silly to contemplate for long.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of this timeless classic:

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Ponty Praises: Typoman

The Portly Politico4 Comments

Good old Ponty is back with a video game review, and one with a particular relevance to blogging:  Typoman.

Anyone who writes daily will tell you that you will have typos.  If you’re not taking time to proofread, revise, and edit your writing (which I rarely do for these posts), you’re guaranteed to have them, no matter how fluidly and clearly you wrote.  Some lone word, some misapplied apostrophe, some stray letter, is going to sneak its way in.

Also, a game about spelling words is perfect for a blog, one that possesses pretenses of featuring literary non-fiction on rare occasions.  Words that must be spelled in a dangerous video game environment are even better.

But let me wrap up, lest I commit a dreaded typo.  Ponty delivers a great review of what sounds like an amazing game.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of Typoman (let me know if he—or I!—have committed any crimes against spelling and grammar):

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Reblogged Guest Post: Reflections on Lent

The Portly Politico13 Comments

Regular contributor Ponty abstained from commenting on blogs and social media during the Lent season.  He really stuck with it, too—I didn’t hear a word from here, save for some very good news on on occasion.

The sacrifice of something you enjoy for Lent is an exercise in refocusing your attention on God.  By giving up even a small pleasure (or vice), it helps us to reflect on what that “small” thing actually costs.  Could it be that small indulgence is a stumbling block to our faith?  Could it be keeping us from achieving more valuable and enduring things?

Ponty explores these and other themes in this beautiful post about his Lenten journey.  Ponty originally published this piece at FreeSpeechBacklash.com, a site in the broader Portly Politico Multiverse (or maybe The Portly Politico is just a site in the broader FSB Cinematic Universe—who knows?).  Graciously, Free Speech Backlash isn’t picky about its writers republishing on other sites, so I’m taking the opportunity to do so here.  I think the piece is well worth your time.

With that, here is Ponty with his “Reflections on Lent“:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty Praises: Dirty Dancing (1987)

The Portly Politico14 Comments

The Ponty film reviews continue this week, closing out a year of excellent film reviews.  We’ve laughed.  We’ve cried.  We’ve danced.

Today’s review from Ponty features a film that’ll have you doing all three.  It’s definitely one of the “modern” classics, even though the flick is nearly forty-years old at this point.  It features so many iconic scenes, it makes you wonder why Jennifer Grey ever got that nose job.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 1987’s Dirty Dancing:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ponty Praises: The Christmas Candle (2013)

The Portly Politico23 Comments

Good old Ponty is always bailing me out when I need it most.  Actually, I now have ample time to loaf about and enjoy the fun of Christmas Break, but that’s precisely the time I don’t want to be dreaming up films to review.

Cue Pontifex Maximus with a chestnut roasting over an open fire.  That chestnut is a faith-based film based on a story by Max Lucado that is, apparently, good.  Finally, Christians are making some good art!

It sounds like a lovely film, and a good antidote to the endless array of cookie-cutter Hallmark films out there.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of 2013’s The Christmas Candle:

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Ponty Praises: Tremors (1990)

The Portly Politico25 Comments

Ponty has been promising me a review of a monster film for a little over a week now, and I wasn’t sure what to expect.  But I should have guessed it would be this absolute gem of a film.

Tremors (1990) came out when I was five.  No, I did not see it at that tender age; I think I first saw it when I was about ten-years old at a friend’s house.  Every Nineties kid had that friend whose parents didn’t care what their kids did, or even actively encouraged them to be edgy.  I had one such heathen friend, and we watched Tremors one day when I was over there playing.

Man, what a flick!  The Wild West setting, the salt-of-the-earth characters, and the dread-of-the-earth worms!  I had never seen anything like it.  I still remember the scene where one of the creatures busts into Reba McIntyre’s basement, and she and her on-screen husband unloaded dozens of rounds into the beast.

It was also scary, but not in the way horror films typically are.  It was scary because these were just normal people living in the desert and trying to get by, and suddenly they have to band together to defeat this creature that, while fantastical, could actually exist.  There was a plausibility to it—at least to a ten-year old—that made it scary in a visceral way.

I think Ponty captures the film’s charm better than I can.  I’ll turn it over to him.

With that, here is Ponty’s glowing review of a timeless classic:

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