Ponty Praises: Tremors (1990)

Ponty has been promising me a review of a monster film for a little over a week now, and I wasn’t sure what to expect.  But I should have guessed it would be this absolute gem of a film.

Tremors (1990) came out when I was five.  No, I did not see it at that tender age; I think I first saw it when I was about ten-years old at a friend’s house.  Every Nineties kid had that friend whose parents didn’t care what their kids did, or even actively encouraged them to be edgy.  I had one such heathen friend, and we watched Tremors one day when I was over there playing.

Man, what a flick!  The Wild West setting, the salt-of-the-earth characters, and the dread-of-the-earth worms!  I had never seen anything like it.  I still remember the scene where one of the creatures busts into Reba McIntyre’s basement, and she and her on-screen husband unloaded dozens of rounds into the beast.

It was also scary, but not in the way horror films typically are.  It was scary because these were just normal people living in the desert and trying to get by, and suddenly they have to band together to defeat this creature that, while fantastical, could actually exist.  There was a plausibility to it—at least to a ten-year old—that made it scary in a visceral way.

I think Ponty captures the film’s charm better than I can.  I’ll turn it over to him.

With that, here is Ponty’s glowing review of a timeless classic:

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Ghostbusters II (1989)

Last week I wrote about one of my favorite films, Ghostbusters (1984).  It’s the kind of flick that would never get made today, because the entire premise—a group of former academics-turned-paranormal-exterminators saving New York City—is too outrageous and original for any Hollywood studio to touch.  Thank goodness for the creative ferment of the 1980s!

Regardless, Ghostbusters has always had a special place in my heart (read last week’s review for a detailed retelling of my quest to obtain the film on DVD in 2010), and while it is controversial to write it, I have always enjoyed its sequel, the oft-delayed Ghostbusters II (1989).

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Ponty Praises: Silent Hill 2 (2001)

As much as yours portly loves Halloween and horror movies, I’ve always been too easily spooked to hang with the real test of horror fandom:  survival horror video games.  They’re games I love to watch other people play, but I’m too chicken to dive deeply into them myself.  Not since the old Alone in the Dark games, which were scary even with (and, perhaps, because of) their blocky, polyhedral graphics, have I braved the hair-and-blood-pressure-raising of this fascinating genre (other than a bit of Alan Wake at my younger brother’s urging; a great game worth raising one’s hackles over).

So it is that I have—shamefully! disgracefully!—missed out on the exquisite Silent Hill franchise.  Fortunately, my braver brother-from-another-mother across the pond, good old Ponty, has delivered up the vicarious experience that yours portly craves—and fears.

One other note—this review is riddled with Amazon affiliate links.  If you make a purchase through any of these links, I receive a portion of the proceeds, at no additional cost to you.  I’m required by the Amazon apparatchiks to include that little disclaimer.

With that, here is Ponty’s review of the early 2000s classic Silent Hill 2:

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SubscribeStar Saturday: The Defenestration of Walz

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Yours portly is late to the party with this one, but, hey, is it ever truly too late to celebrate a full-scale immolation?

Or, as the title indicates, a defenestration, which is just a fancy way of saying, “throwing someone out of a window.”  That is very much how the vice presidential debate between Senator J.D. Vance and Governor Tim Walz felt a few weeks ago.  On the one side stood a mighty hillbilly culture warrior, ready to stand astride the debate stage like a Colossus.  On the other was a mealy-mouthed Elmer Fudd, who looked Elmer BeFuddled the entire time.

I am a high school history (and music!) teacher; while we do know a lot of stuff, that doesn’t mean we know how to apply it.  There is knowing a thing, and there is knowing it.  One of the biggest wakeup calls is going from the theoretical and abstract realm of the classroom and entering the real world; it becomes apparent pretty quickly that all that theory and knowledge amount to precious little if they can’t be equipped or adapted to handle Reality.

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TBT^256: On Ghost Stories

‘Tis the season, my friends—the spooky season!  And it’s a time for reading some good ghost stories.

I have been reading William Peter Blatty’s The Exorcist—talk about a spooky read (the link to the book is an Amazon Affiliate link; if you make a purchase through that link, I receive a portion of the proceeds, at no additional cost to you)!  By the time this post goes live, I should also be diving into some classic Victorian ghost stories.

I don’t have much to add to this year’s commentary about my favorite short story genre.  The world provides plenty of spooks of its own, so it seems appropriate to enjoy some escapism with stories of haunts of a more metaphysical nature.

Of course, most of our problems are, ultimately, spiritual in nature, so perhaps diving into some ghost stories might be preparation.  Or they’re just fun to read—you decide!

With that, here is 19 October 2023’s “TBT^16: On Ghost Stories“:

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Rooting Out Heresy: The Cathars

Years ago I picked up a book with the titillating title The History of Witchcraft and Demonology by Montague Summers, an alleged Catholic priest who professed a belief in the reality of witches, vampires, and werewolves, among other supernatural critters that go bump in the night.  On the point of witches, at least, they are all too real.

I’ve never quite managed to finish the book—it’s a slog, given the scholarly writing style of the early twentieth century—but the first few chapters take a deep dive into Gnosticism and related religious movements, like Manichaeism.  As I recall, Summers traces much of European witchcraft to various Gnostic heresies.

For the unfamiliar, Gnosticism essentially argues that everything in this world is wicked, and that God is, in fact, evil.  The argument is that all physical matter is the creation of an evil god, the demiurge, and that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was, in fact, good, as he sought to bring enlightenment and understanding to humanity.  Only the spiritual is good, and the rejection of material existence is, therefore, good.  Obtaining to that spiritual good is the result of gaining knowledge, which is why the serpent’s act in Genesis is not a moment of man’s fall, but of his awakening.  Gnostic faiths are also inherently dualistic, which can be particularly enticing to Christians, who often fall into a dualistic worldview of the earthly against the spiritual.

At least, that’s one quick version of Gnosticism.  The details vary, but the broad strokes are the same.  Regardless, we can easily see that Gnosticism and its offspring are inherently anti-Christian in nature.  They reject God’s Holiness, and elevate Satan to the role of a “good” god.  Like all forms of heresy—and sin!—Satan inverts and perverts the Truth.

And what is witchcraft, then, but an attempt to manipulate the spiritual world to do the bidding of humans in this world?  The Bible makes it very clear that witchcraft is not good.  We all know Exodus 22:18, a verse that has graced the opening title cards of many a bad horror film:  “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.”  1 Samuel 28:3-25 tells the story of King Saul consulting the Witch at Endor, seeking to speak with the ghost of the prophet Samuel.  For this violation of God’s Law—and its implicit lack of trust in God’s Providence—Saul lost his throne for himself and his heirs.

I’m not advocating we go around staking overweight YouTube lesbians who claim to be witches (although I love Brian Neimeier‘s non-violent and cheeky “Witch Test“), but we need to be mindful of how easy it is to fall into heresy.  Christianity is a difficult faith at times, even though in some ways, it is the easiest:  Christ Offers us the free Gift of His Grace; Salvation is available to us, if only we will receive it.  But there are certainly difficult passages, and reconciling the God of the Old Testament with the Christ of the New Testament has presented a perennial struggle for some Christians.

Of course, even that dichotomy is false—and potential form of heresy!  The God of the Old Testament is the God of the New—and the God of today and forever!  God Does Not Change.

Nevertheless, some groups have failed to make the reconciliation; coupled with the Gnostic influences from Persia (via Manichaeism), the Middle Ages saw the rise of a fascinating, complex heresy, one that was rooted out—brutally but, I would argue, necessarily—by the Catholic Church:  the Cathars.

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Monday Morning Movie Review: Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

This blog is not one to shy from controversy, so yours portly is going to come out and say it:  2024’s Joker: Folie à Deux is an excellent film.

Yes, yes—critics and audiences have panned it.  That is an indication that it’s not just the smarmy critics panning a flick that audiences love, but that it’s actually an unenjoyable slog.  Indeed, much of the criticism I’ve read or watched of the film describes it as bleak and hopeless.

Having seen Joker 2 (as I will call it for the rest of the review so I don’t have to type out that ridiculous title), I can say it’s good because it’s bleak and hopeless.  Indeed, that is the entire point.

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Ponty’s Top 3 Halloween Picks 2024

Pickup my newest release: Spooky Season III!  Use promo code spooky to take an additional 20% off all purchases on Bandcamp!  Code expires at 11:59 PM UTC on Thursday, 31 October 2024.

Last Wednesday I posted “My Neighbor’s Halloween Movie Recommendations” to a great deal of fanfare.  It was a solid list, leaning a bit more heavily towards the classics.  Naturally, I knew our English correspondent, Pontiac Dream 39, would have some thoughts on the list.

As is often the case, I was right.  Ponty offered up his top three picks in the comments section.  Always on the lookout for easy—uh, I mean, quality—content, I asked the good bloke from across the pond to consider putting together a more extensive “explainer” of his choices.

Happily, he obliged.  Few writers put together a movie review better than good old Ponty, especially when he either loves or hates a film.  In this case, his love for these three flicks—and they are all, assuredly, classics—shines through, as does his acumen for writing a crackerjack film review.

With that, here are Ponty’s Top 3 Halloween Picks for 2024 (I’m hoping if I add “for 2024,” it means he’ll do more next year!):

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Monday Morning Movie Review: The Exorcist III (1990)

Sequels can be a dicey proposition.  The mentality with most sequels is “the same, but bigger”—build upon what made the original film successful and lovable, but with more of it.  That formula seems to work in terms of generating cash, but tends to leave audiences leaving with the sensation that what they saw was “good, but not as good as the original.”

The Exorcist III (1990), which ignores the events of the (so I have heard) disastrous Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977), is certainly “not as good as the original,” but it is still very good.  It’s a film that takes a few viewings to drink everything in, but it’s worth the effort.  Indeed, I’d argue it is an underappreciated masterpiece.

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SubscribeStar Saturday: Our Digital Future: SATurday II

Pickup my newest release: Spooky Season III!  Use promo code spooky to take an additional 20% off all purchases on Bandcamp!  Code expires at 11:59 PM UTC on Thursday, 31 October 2024.

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Yours portly is ready to deliver the content his readers, paid and otherwise, crave:  commentary on the new digital SAT administration.

That’s right, friends, yours portly is spending this beautiful Saturday morning in a room with kids taking the SAT.  I’m specifically in the extended testing room, which is a long administration but means more money.  The idea of being paid to sit here and write self-indulgent blog posts while three kids gawk on standardized test questions fills me with the kind of glee that only union workers and government bureaucrats feel:  the glee of getting one over on the rest of society by suckling at the bloated teat of an inefficient system.

But as I wipe the corrosive milkfat from my chubby cheeks, I must take a moment to do the unthinkable:  I must extol the virtues of this new digital administration.

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