Tag: writing

Open Mic Adventures CLXVI: “Softly and Tenderly”

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

I was working on an alto saxophone arrangement of the hymn “Softly and Tenderly” by Will L. Thompson last week, as I am planning on playing it for Chapel this week at school. I’ve always liked the hymn, and I recently attempted it on sax for a Sunday night singing at my old church. While playing it, I realized I was unclear one some of the notes in the melody, so there was a chunk where I was kind of adlibbing my way through.

That being the case, I thought it would be worthwhile to have a version for alto sax as sheet music. This arrangement is really more of a transcription; that is, I attempted to put on paper what I play when I am noodling the hymn on sax. I tried to replicate the various ornamentations that I add on when I play.

Once I had the transcription I wanted, I didn’t grab my alto sax right away. Instead, I grabbed my bass! I played bass with our new church’s praise band for the first time this past Sunday, and I needed to practice some of the pieces for service. Since I had the bass out anyway, I decided to play the alto sax arrangement on the bass!

The result is the feature of today’s post. The typical key for “Softly and Tenderly” is concert Ab major. That puts it in the key of F major for an alto saxophone (for transposing reasons I won’t explain here, because while I think it’s cool, it’s also kind of tedious and boring). So, by playing on the bass (which I think of a concert-pitch instrument, but which technically transposes everything down one octave), I was shifting the key to concert F major (meaning if I played it with a pianist, the pianist would have to play in F major, not Ab major).

See? Kind of tedious. The bass rendition, however, is not:

Read More »
zaira

Pit Bulls and Genetics

The Portly Politico2 Comments

There’s been a lot of debate around pit bulls for years, and the sides are pretty predictable: some people argue they are only violent because of bad upbringing and abuse; others argue that the breed is genetically predisposed to aggressive and unpredictable behavior. I fall firmly in the latter camp.

Are there are exceptions to the “killer pit bull” stereotype? Sure. Nugget, who is truly the meekest, sweetest dog to ever live, is apparently 75% pit bull genetically; the only indication is her blocky head. Whatever pit is in her is completely subsumed under the other 25% of her genetic heritage (we highly suspect she has some rat terrier and/or Australian Cattle Dog in her). But no one would look at Nugget and say, “that’s a pit bull.”

We all know what a pit bull is, even if their advocates will try to argue that it’s “not really a breed” (funny how they’ll argue the breed isn’t inherently violent, then in the next breath argue the breed doesn’t exist; you can see why this dog is a favorite of single white liberal ladies in their thirties). It reminds me of that Supreme Court justice who, when asked to define pornography, said (to paraphrase), “I know it when I see it.”

Here is a pit bull. It’s a beautiful dog, don’t get me wrong. I also wouldn’t let it anywhere near my hypothetical children.

“Portly, didn’t you have a bull terrier?” Yes, and that’s a challenging and neurotic breed. I loved Murphy, but she wasn’t a saint; she infamously scratched one of my nephews one horrible Christmas (she was super stressed out, but it was still totally unacceptable; my nephew was fine, but understandably shaken up). I did a lot of work with her to test her boundaries and to ensure she wouldn’t go too far or get too rough. Additionally, the bull terrier, while sharing some common stock with the American pit bull, was bred to be super friendly towards humans. Other than that one unfortunate incident, Murphy loved people.

I still would never let her around a two-year old.

I’ve long suspected that a lot of the rhetoric around pit bulls isn’t really about dogs—it’s about race. I don’t believe that one’s race automatically defines a person, but there are clear differences between human races other than skin tone. For example, some Asians are lactose intolerant, while most Europeans aren’t; people of African descent are more likely to suffer from sickle cell anemia. These things don’t mean one group of people is inherently better or worse than another (“all hail the dairy drinkers!”), just that genetics are real and play some role in who we are.

Anyone who has ever had children, or witnessed young children develop, knows this intuitively, even if they’d never say it out loud. My niece is my mother; the older of my two nephews is my father. It’s absolutely wild how they’ve inherited personalities and traits and talents across generations. Obviously, my niece and nephews are their own people, with their own unique quirks and abilities, but it’s striking how much they have ingrained behaviors and mannerisms, not just from their parents, but from their grandparents. The dynamic between my niece and the older nephew is like watching my parents interact.

Again, let me stress what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that biology is 100% destiny. But I’m also rejecting the “blank slate”—we have all sorts of things imprinted upon us genetically from the moment of conception. That’s a really beautiful thing.

Similarly, dogs are influenced by their genetics. This shouldn’t be controversial—we literally breed dogs into breeds. What makes a breed a “breed” are the distinct characteristics between them. Some dogs are bred for companionship; some for hunting; some for receiving; some for pointing.

Some are bred as brutal killing machines. And we’re kidding ourselves if think we are safe just because we’re nice to the brutal killing machine.

But, again, for a certain segment of the population, I suspect their fear is that if we draw that conclusion about dogs, we might draw that conclusion about humans. Never mind that humans are ensouled; that we’re made in the Image of God; that God Gave us intelligence and self-control. Sure, some people might have more or less intelligence or restraint than others, but they can make a conscious effort to overcome or mitigate at least some of their biology.

What prompted this lengthy reflection was this post from Substack author Georgi Boorman. I can’t say I disagree with her overall thesis.

Here is my response:

Read More »

Lazy Sunday CDI: Koi Dance on Other Blogs

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Koi Dance is out now on all streaming platforms and at https://tjcookmusic.bandcamp.com. It’s 90% off (!) with promo code koipond. That promo code is also good for everything on the site, so my full discography is under $10.

A couple of my blogger buddies very kind wrote little blurbs about Koi Dance, so I thought I’d share them today:

Legendary blogger Roman of Opium Tales has also graciously agreed to review the album, so stay tuned!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

SubscribeStar Saturday: Professional Development

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Today’s post is a SubscribeStar Saturday exclusive.  To read the full post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.  For a full rundown of everything your subscription gets, click here.

Koi Dance is out now on all streaming platforms and at https://tjcookmusic.bandcamp.com. It’s 90% off (!) with promo code koipond. That means it’s $1 for twelve tracks of great music (and that promo code is also good for everything on the site).

The school year is back in swing, and while I’m now on extra-super-secret-double-part-time (a little-known codicil in the modern working world’s constitution), I still have to complete some mandatory trainings each year. These trainings are rarely interesting, but nor are they particularly onerous; they’re just the boxes one has to check to appease that dread fiend Liability.

For example, each year my colleagues and I go through mandated OSHA bloodborne pathogens training. It’s a simple presentation reviewing procedures for dealing with a child (or anyone) bleeding all over a classroom. Believe it or not, that kind of thing does happen, although not for the grisly reasons readers’ minds might be conjuring up. It’s usually something benign: an unexpected nosebleed (yours portly had his share of those in high school) or a skinned knee. One time a pianist had a stubborn hangnail that got caught while playing and he bled all over the baby grand piano (it was pretty metal).

We also go through active shooter training, which is a grim reminder of the godless dystopia we currently inhabit. It’s useful to be reminded that the world is fallen and that there are truly wicked people out there. It’s also a reminder that law enforcement often view everything from the absolute worst-case scenario (“that big window is a death trap!”), which I suppose makes sense, given that they interact with the fallout of worst-case scenarios everyday.

This year I just had to attend a handful of these mandatory trainings, included the two mentioned above. However, due to a miscommunication from my admin, I attended an additional training that, were I still a classroom teacher, might have offered some marginal utility. Even in my new role as Chaplain, it had some relevant insights.

However, as with many such “professional development opportunities,” it presented something of a microcosm with everything that is wrong with the teaching profession.

To read the rest of this post, subscribe to my SubscribeStar page for $1 a month or more.

Phone it in Friday CXLI: YouTube Roundup CCI: Loaches and Water Treatment

The Portly Politico2 Comments

Koi Dance is out now on all streaming platforms and at https://tjcookmusic.bandcamp.com. It’s 90% off (!) with promo code koipond. That means it’s $1 for twelve tracks of great music (and that promo code is also good for everything on the site).

The intense summer heat has kept the fish deeper underwater, where they can escape the sun and enjoy cooler temperatures. Even the rosy red minnows, who usually swarm any food we toss into the pond, have been more taciturn of late. It had me a bit worried, but water testing indicates that everything looks good. I imagine we’ll see more activity once temperatures began to back off… in late November—ha!

That said, we’ve had a few fun sightings. One of our intrepid loaches has been making himself known, and it’s always fun seeing those weird, goofy-looking critters near the surface.

Loaches typically live at the bottom of the pond, and like to burrow into the dirty substrate. They eat food that’s fallen to the bottom and generally feed on detritus and what not. But they will surface in response to barometric changes, and we have at least one that loves to explore (I’m pretty sure he’s the same one I saw wriggling around in the filter basket one morning; my attempts to relocate him were marginally successful). It’s always super fun seeing them in the ivy, which our big yellow koi, Sunny, also seems to enjoy.

So it is that I have loach-related videos for you today, as well as one kind of boring update about the unsexy side of pond management.

Read More »

TBT: First Day of School 202[6]

The Portly Politico2 Comments

Yesterday was the first day of classes for the 2026-2027 academic year. It is the first “first day of school” I have not attended in fifteen-ish years.

Instead, today is my first day of the school year. I’m now the part-time Chaplain for my school, and I only go in (usually) once a week, on Thursdays, for the morning Chapel service. The new headmaster will be covering today’s Chapel, so I won’t give my first devotional until next week.

It’s a little surreal being “back-to-school” in this new role—and without truly being “back” all the time. But I love it so far.

I had to attend a few of the back-to-school trainings and professional developments, and while my school is incredibly mild with that stuff compared to public schools, it was a confirmation that leaving full-time classroom teaching was the right move. Admin was scrambling to finalize the master schedule (in part because there is a new schedule this year), and one colleague had a substantial, last-minute change to his teaching load (fortunately, I was able to give him all of my materials for the course, so he should be good to go). Everyone is magically expected to be ready for this week, and it’s a testament to the kind of miracles teachers pull off that most of them probably were!

Avoiding that kind of chaos is pretty sweet. I’ve had a small dose of it, as the time for Chapel kept shifting around as the admin continued to make tweaks to the new schedule, but I’ve found that being proactive and trying to nail down details with them in writing and in advance goes a long way in the CYA department. Also, I don’t really have to work anymore, so I have ultimate outcome-independence. Being able to say, “no, I don’t think I will” is pretty liberating, albeit counterintuitive to an innate people-pleaser.

Well, here’s to doing the fun part of education with almost none of the baggage. Woooooooooot!

With that, here is 18 August 2025’s “First Day of School 2025“:

Read More »
gym equipment

Exercise

The Portly Politico9 Comments

Yours portly has had a lifelong aversion to exercise. Not physical exertion, per se—I grew up moving furniture around my parents’ Victorian house and still lug sound equipment hither and yon—but the idea of physical exertion for its own sake. Why sweat when you don’t have to?

Well, because it’s not “physical exertion for its own sake”; exercise serves a greater purpose in that it improves one’s health. The physical benefits of exercise are, of course, well-documented: weight loss and/or management; greater strength; increased stamina; better cardiovascular health; etc. The mental benefits are pretty profound, too: better sleep; better mood; better ways to sweat out the bottled-up rage of decades.

Still, even with all the alleged benefits, I’ve rarely been one to go out of my way to seek additional physical exertion just because—gasp!—it might be good for me. Exercise is hard. It’s sweaty and unpleasant. Especially when I was working full-time, I dealt with enough sweaty unpleasantness that, in my precious spare time, I preferred to stay glued to my computer desk chair than move around unnecessarily.

Naturally, that’s partially why yours portly is, well, portly (not to mention my unhealthy relationship with food—I’m a sensualist when it comes to eating mish-mashed leftovers). Living life as a larger-than-life bon vivant has its advantages, but it also carries some hefty baggage.

So I’ve been taking some small steps towards improving my overall physical (and mental) health. Dr. Wife and I take a long walk most nights after dinner. I’ve been doing that for a few months now. I enjoy walking, but as my older brother once told me (to paraphrase), “walking is good, but it takes a tremendous amount of time [to see any real caloric burn].” If Dr. Wife isn’t with me I’ll sometimes get in some brief interval running, but I’m not consistent with that at all.

What’s a portly bon vivant to do?

“Eat less, fatso”—hey, I heard that! But, yes, I’m doing that (imperfectly).

“Find exercise that works for you, tubsy”—ah, yes. A good solution. Well, walking works for me, but, as my older brother has noted, it’s fairly inefficient. Running is unpleasant (again, most exercise, for someone like me, is).

Dr. Wife, as usual, presented the solution in the way only an upper-middle class American white girl can: ride the Peloton.

Read More »

New Music Tuesday XX: “Chorale for Single Reeds”

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Sunday morning I jotted down another chorale—I’ve been on a chorale kick lately—and decided to experiment with 9/4 time. I really just wanted to see how composing for longer measures might affect the final product. I did find that my “grammar” changed a bit while composing in this unorthodox time signature, with more subdivisions of three popping up.

I exported the WAV from Noteflight and imported it into Audacity. There I applied a “Large Room” reverb filter; a “Wide Synth Pad” chorus effect; and a “Lush High-Ends” master effect.

Read More »

Lazy Sunday CD: 🐟Koi Dance🐟 Posts

The Portly PoliticoLeave a comment

Koi Dance is out now on all streaming platforms and at https://tjcookmusic.bandcamp.com. It’s 90% off (!) with promo code koipond. That means it’s $1 for twelve tracks of great music (that promo code is also good for everything on the site).

As such, I’m featuring some posts related to Koi Dance (and the title track, “Koi Dance”):

Happy Sunday!

—TPP