Lazy Sunday CCV: Myersvision, Part VII

As much as I love to beat a dead horse—or, in this case, a dead Bigfoot—this Lazy Sunday retrospective of the Myersvision series will be the last for awhile.  It’s a testament to Audre Myers‘s impressive output that I’ve spent seven Sundays looking back at her contributions to the blog.

Of course, there will be more Lazy Sundays featuring her work if she revs up the ol’ Commodore 64 and sends me some more juicy submissions.  Lazy Sunday typically comes in threes, and I have one additional post for the eighth installment of this retrospective.  That means Audre just needs to submit two more pieces, and we’ll hit eight!

Of course, there were only Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.  Perhaps Audre’s writing is the Eighth:

  • Myersvision: A Very Good Discussion” – This title is quintessentially Audrean in nature.  The discussion in question is in a YouTube video shared in the post, but the real meat of the post are Audre’s theories about Bigfoot, based on what are likely hundreds of hours of research.
  • Myersvision: A Possible Language” – Apparently, Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) have a language, “Samari.”  Bigfoot enthusiasts picked that name because the alleged Sasquatchian language sounds like a bad overdub of an old samurai or kung-fu film.  That lack of seriousness and overabundance of hokiness tells you everything you need to know about Bigfoot enthusiasts (Audre being the exception here).
  • Myersvision: Consider if You Will…” – A video of what appears to be a bipedal ape creature rampaging through a snow-covered parking lot.  Gasp!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

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Lazy Sunday CCIV: Myersvision, Part VI

When it comes to Lazy Sunday, I really put emphasis on the “Lazy” part of that title.  When I find something good, I milk it dry, which is probably what will happen to Bigfoot if we ever get the big lug into captivity.  Imagine drinking “Squatch Juice”—the sweet, slightly gamey, milk of the female Bigfoot (Bigfemme?), packed full of anti-oxidants and invisibility serum.

Uh, ahem… I digress.  Right now I’m only milking Bigfoot metaphorically in the form of Audre Myers‘s excellent Bigfoot-related posts.  March inadvertently became “Bigfoot March Madness” at The Portly Politico, to the point that even Audre expressed concern that she was doing irreparable damage to this site’s reputation, to which I responded (again, metaphorically), “What reputation?”

And so I digress yet again.  Here are three editions of Myersvision from 8, 15, and 22 March 2023, all about our favorite, elusive, hairy cryptid:

  • Myersvision: The Books” – Audre offers up a short bibliography of Bigfoot books, including some by Jeff Meldrum, a Full Professor of Anatomy and Anthropology at Idaho State University.
  • Myersvision: Other Sources” – Here Audre offers up some other Bigfoot sources, including an interview with Jane Goodall (who herself falsified some of the wild findings she made concerning apes).
  • Myersvision: Structures” – Bigfoot is a builder (perhaps he should sign up for my Minecraft Camp).  There are apparently eerily similar structures that are attributed to Bigfoot, which suggests a certain degree of intelligence in our mystery pal.

That’s it for this latest retrospective into Myersvision.  There’s more milk to come!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Myersvision: Hoarders

What’s the opposite of Bigfoot, a hairy loner that lives in the woods and avoids people (but loves grainy, out-of-focus trail cams)?  Probably not pathological hoarders, but maybe that’s close:  they can’t get away from their meddling relations and the government, which imperiously demands their children not live in homes covered in old Chinese newspapers and rat feces. The gall!

Unlike our elusive, hirsute woodland friend, these folks have the opportunity to bask in the limelight—of shame.  If reality television serves any useful social function (debatable), it’s that it occasionally shames mentally-scarred weirdos, making the rest of feel better about ourselves in the process.

At least, I always suspected that was the point of shows with hoarders and morbidly obese people (I wonder how big—no pun intended—of an overlap there is between those disorders?) was for us to shake our heads and thank God we aren’t as screwed up as those people.  As Audre Myers gently implies here, we’re all screwed up (true), and but for the Grace of God, we’d be holding onto broken baseball bats and takeout flyers.

I also can’t criticize Hoarding Americans too much, as my natural inclinations towards packrattery and a weird holdover Depression/Recession Era mentality make me loathe to waste anything—or to let too much go.  I’m especially that way with books, so when I successfully donated a massive cardboard box of old books to the local library, I took it as a good sign that I am not a hoarder, just a slob.  Shew!

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  We all need grace and compassion—even the hoarders.

With that, here is Audre’s review of the A&E series Hoarders:

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Lazy Sunday CCIII: Myersvision, Part V

After four retrospective installments of Myersvision, we’re finally getting into Audre Myers‘s pet (no pun intended) project:  Bigfoot.  Audre would never dream of keeping a Bigfoot as a pet—she has too much respect for the creatures—but she loves to scrutinize the myriad sources about him.

Brace yourself for more Bigfoot in the Lazy Sundays to come.  We’re through Audre’s looking glass here:

  • Myersvision: Iceman (1984)” – The non-cryptozoology piece this weekend, here is Audre’s review of 1984’s Iceman.  This film is a forgotten gem—or, perhaps, ice crystal.
  • Myersvision: My Very Large Friend” – No, Audre didn’t write this piece about yours portly.  It’s about Bigfoot, and about some of the sightings of the “big lug,” as I call him, around the world.
  • Myersvision: Project Bigfoot” – Audre breaks down a video containing multiple parts, giving her quick analysis and hot takes of each section.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Lazy Sunday CCII: Myersvision, Part IV

The retrospective of our favorite senior correspondent Audre Myers continues with three more editions of her Myersvision posts.  Surprisingly, none of these posts have anything to do with Bigfoot, although one of them is, perhaps, the most controversial hot take Audrey’s ever committed to digital paper:

  • Myersvision: Million Pound Menu” – Audre’s review of Million Pound Menu, a show in which small-time investors preview hopeful restauranteurs looking for a few quid.  The “Pound” referred to is the English pound sterling, not the weight, so there’s no excessive eating in this show (d’oh!).
  • Myersvision: Shaun of the Dead (2004)” – Audre’s review of 2004’s Shaun of the Dead is perhaps the most Boomery of Boomer hot takes to what is, objectively, one of the best films ever made.  Well, at least, it’s pretty good, but Audre disagrees.  As I did at the time, I’m chalking her distaste for the film up to a difference in generations and genders, although Ponty was a bit more vigorous in his disagreement.
  • Myersvision: Theme Music” – All about great television theme songs, with plenty of clips.

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Myersvision: Consider if You Will…

Audre Myers just can’t resist the alluring song of the Bigfoot, and keeps coming back to drink at the well of grainy video footage and armchair cryptozoological speculation.  As she quaffs away, we benefit from her insights in the form of thoughtful analyses of our big hairy friend.

What I still can’t get over is the lack of compellingclear footage of Bigfoot.  There’s always some post hoc rationalization for why the video doesn’t work (one of the more infamous examples I recall is the gentleman who had a branch in front of his trail cam, and the labored explanation that the infrared light emitted from it washed out the image).  Some of these videos of alleged sightings are so blurry, it seems that the power of suggestion is at play more than clear examination.  We want to see a Bigfoot, so we see one.  Clever YouTubers will draw a conical outline around the fuzzy form and proclaim, “Ah ha!  See!  It must be Bigfoot because it has a head shaped like a cone!”  Maybe it’s just Dan Aykroyd reprising his role in Coneheads (1993).  Now you’ll start seeing him when you watch this blurry footage.

This video, however, seems different.  Whatever the creature is, it is massive.

I’ll let Audre explain it from here:

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Lazy Sunday CCI: Myersvision, Part III

I decided to keep the good times rolling with posts from our senior correspondentAudre Myers, who contributes her Myersvision pieces approximately every Wednesday.  This weekend’s selections are from that glorious Christmas season, which is reflected in the two films she reviewed:

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Lazy Sunday CC: Myersvision, Part II

Lazy Sunday turns 200!  It’s hard to believe that I’ve been phoning it in for 200 Sundays now, but here we are.

In celebration of this milestone, I’ve decided to highlight some more features from our senior correspondent, Audre Myers, who contributes her Myersvision pieces roughly every Wednesday (or whenever the muses move her).  Here are three more of her excellent pieces:

Here’s to many more editions of Myersvision to come!

Happy Sunday!

—TPP

Other Lazy Sunday Installments:

Myersvision: A Possible Language

Audre Myers has done real yeowoman’s work in the realm of “sane, evidence-based Bigfoot belief.”  There are a lot of cranks out there, as Audre would be the first to admit, but she brings much-needed rationality to the study of Bigfoot, all while retaining her childlike sense of wonder.

Recordings of Bigfoot abound, but beyond mere yelps and screeches, the creatures apparently possess language.  This ability makes sense, as I intuit at some gut level that, if Bigfoot does exist, he is not merely a woodland ape, but something containing intelligence.  It might not be human intelligence, but it is intelligence nonetheless.

Audre breaks down their language—called “Samari”—in this cogent post.  Perhaps in addition to finding the Bigfoot, we might also find his Rosetta Stone, unlocking the language of another intelligent species.

With that, here is Audre on the language of the Bigfoot:

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