I’m finishing out January with one more Shudder-based movie review, then I’m going to knock out the growing list of film review requests. Audre’s been patiently waiting for a review of Bicentennial Man (1999), which is over two hours long (probably why I keep putting it off—ha!); my Aunt Marilyn has requested The Electrical Life of Louis Wain (2021), which stars Benedict Cumberbatch; and my neighbor Bernard Fife has recommended White Lightning (1973), which he hopes will be part of a “Hick Flick” series of reviews.
I promise to get to all of these films, and as February is the month of love, it seems like as good a time as any to show my readers some love. If you’ve got any recommendations to make, get them in now, while I’m awash in this generous mood. Fortunately for you, dear readers, I also experience a crushing, crippling sense of obligation, so chances are if you ask nicely, I’ll review it. Just leave a comment or e-mail me.
But it’s still January for one more day, so I get to pick the movie. This weekend, I stumbled upon the 2020 Spanish-language film The Last Matinee (or Al morir la matinée). The film is a joint production of Uruguay and Argentina, and takes place in Montevideo in 1993.
That alone made it unique, as most Spanish-language horror films seem to take place in Mexico or Spain (Spain, like Italy, apparently has a thriving horror film industry). What further drew me to the film is that it takes place in a failing movie theater in the heart of the city, and the events unfold during a screening of a cheesy slasher film.
The setting really is a huge part of the story, which involves a fairly small cast of well-drawn characters. The theater is old, yes, but you can tell it is a special place: leather chairs, brass rails, green marbled wall tiles, etc. It looks like a once-grand movie palace, now reduced to showing late-night B movies and hustling bums off the premises.
The film opens with a black-clad figure entering the theatre as a screening lets out, complete with a little kid spilling a bunch of candy on the stairs. This shark will prey upon the tiny audience: three teenagers; a couple on an awkward date; a young boy who snuck in; and a girl that one of the teenagers compares to Brook Shields.
Other characters include the heroine, Ana, come to relieve her overworked and unhealthy father in the projectionist booth; the ticket taker; and the obnoxious security guard, Mauricio. Ana’s father is a portly older man who smokes like a salmon, and who reluctantly leaves Ana to work the projector after she reassures him she knows how to do it after watching him for years.
Ana sets about studying for her engineering classes, only to have the annoying Mauricio interrupt her with mindless chatter. She kicks him out of the booth, locking the door behind her—a move that will save her life.
The film takes a long time to get to the killing, but that’s a good thing: the script takes its time to introduce each of the characters, so their deaths are far more impactful to the viewer. The teenagers, consisting of a girl and two boys, egg one of the boys, Goni, into talking to the Brook Shields girl. The woman on the awkward date turns out to be pretty forward with the nervous man who has brought her to the movie, even though she is generally disinterested in him and the film. The little boy is absolutely terrified by the cheesy movie, to the point that he wets himself.
These touches really establish the characters well, and when the killings begin, it almost feels like a different movie. I actually enjoyed the establishing scenes with the characters more than the desperate scramble to survive the night, which is what these slashers inevitably must become.
That said, the deaths are pretty wild. Mauricio is taken out early, after seeing the fortunate ticket taker off for the evening. The next death was rough, though: Goni, having worked up the courage to talk to the lonely girl, ends up kissing her. The two seem genuinely interested in one another, having formed a real connection—but then are connected permanently with a sharp piece of rebar through their heads. That was a gruesome one to witness, and even more tragic because they’re just two youngsters falling in love.
After this scene, the killer dispatches the cinema patrons one by one. Ultimately, Ana becomes aware that something is horribly wrong, and does her best to get the remaining survivors to safety.
The killer is particularly frightening. In a creepy scene in the projection booth, it is revealed that the killer collects his victims’ eyeballs—and then he eats one. He has them floating in a big jar like they’re pickled eggs. It is disgusting, and even as desensitized as I am to this kind of schlocky gore, it got to me.
Humorously enough, what caused me more anxiety than the killer’s next appearance was my concern that the projector would stall, causing the film to burn. Ana’s father sets this up early in the film, when he explains to Ana what to do if the celluloid burns—glue the reels together while people jeer, then get the film going again. I have worked live events for so long, I know that this is the kind of thing that I dread happening.
Sure enough, what the script sets up, it pays off: the film does stall and burn, and Ana mistakes the audience members’ screams as their impatient jeering. Fortunately, Ana knows how to fix it, though it becomes a moot point (obviously). Still, the entire time, I was thinking, “That’s my worst nightmare.” Probably worse than being chased around a theater by a crazed, eyeball-eating killer!
But I digress. The Last Matinee is a great twist on the slasher genre. I’m not big into slasher films, but this was a creative take on the genre. The setting is memorable, and it gave me a bit more sense for what the capital of Uruguay was like in the early 1990s.
Just be sure to keep one eye open the next time you’re making out in the movie theater. It might save your life.
Cheers for the recommendation. I’ll check it out. If you want to check out another Spanish horror, look for Julia’s Eyes (Los Ojos de Julia). I watched that many years ago and from recollection, it was a good movie. Also, check out Intacto, one of my favourite movies of all time. Not horror, thriller, but beautifully unique.
Bicentennial man?! Crikey, Tyler, you’re going to need a lot of booze. I like Robin Williams but that film is dross. If you can get through to the end sober, I’ll be impressed. Personally, I’d have made Audre rewatch that film! 🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wait a second, big boy … do a little research on artificial intelligence and the robots they’re making in Japan and elsewhere and Bicentennial Man takes on a whole new facet. At what point in development might robots become self-aware; sentient?
Port – you’re gunna have to be the referee in this fight, my friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are better movies in AI and bioengineering than Bicentennial Man, which at best is dross and at worst is horrific. Robocop, for instance, where Murphy’s memories overturn the destructive repair of his body.
We’ll agree to disagree on this, Audre, but you’re wrong and you know it! 🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Not wrong and you know it.
(wink)
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll render my judgment next week. Stay tuned!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Man, _Robocop_ is definitely a classic. Another one to add to the list.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved RoboCop (the original). But don’t tell my English cousin.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’d love to spend a weekend watching _Robocop_ and listening to heavy metal with Alys. I wonder how long she’d last?
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can live life on the edge if you want to, but I wouldn’t get her Welsh up, if I were you.
LikeLike
I’ve heard the stories of Tyrannical Ma. I figure the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Gulp!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I remember it being one of Robin Williams’s more saccharine films, but I liked it as a fourteen-year old. We’ll see how I like it twenty-three years later!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What my readers request, I must endure. I last saw _Bicentennial Man_ when it came out, so I was fourteen. I remember enjoying it at the time, but also remembering it as a LONG movie.
Of course, my decision—dross or cinematic masterpiece (or something in between)—will be rendered next week. That will be the final word on the matter.
Alternatively, I may just threaten to chop a copy of the DVD in two, giving you one half and Audre the other. When Audre throws herself on the DVD case, wailing that I should give it to you, rather than strike it in twain, I will know to whom to give the disc.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, and thanks for the recommendation re: _Julia’s Eyes_. I’ll see if I can find it, as well as _Intacto_.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you like romcoms, the Almodovar films are good as well. I spent a good while, many moons ago, watching nothing but foreign films and there were some good products from Spain and Italy. I like the twisted nature of Asian films though. Ichi the Killer is twisted but fun. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
“… but then are connected permanently with a sharp piece of rebar through their heads.” Hilarious!!!
You should be writing movie reviews for newspapers – I have a friend who made quite a nice living from that – especially the ‘mandatory’ “10 Best Horror Movies” at Halloween. You should look into it.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I would love to do that. Would you mind asking your friend how s/he got into it? I don’t know the first thing about getting onto a newspaper, and they’re all conglomerating and consolidating and cutting back these days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll send him a personal message on FB. I’ll let you know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re a pretty smart guy, but you ain’t no Solomon!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, but I am Portlomon.
LikeLike
Here’s an old expression for ya – sell your papers walkin’, buddy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just left a private message for Ed on FB. As soon as I hear anything, I’ll let you know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Audre! I appreciate it.
LikeLike
Okay you lot. Mike: Audre is older and wiser than you and I am on her side, always, about everything.
Tyler, my ears bleed if I listen to nearly any kind of music that is less than fifty years old and I am nothing like Tyrannical Ma thank you very much. Now, my boy, get on with the day job.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Audre is my big little sister and she always has my love and support. Just not on that film! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brothers and sisters are supposed to squabble occasionally, aren’t they??? You know you have my heart.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Cain killed Abel, after all. Will _Bicentennial Man_ be a pleasing sacrifice to the Lord? ; D
Y’all are a hoot. It’s been a fun morning in the comments section. Now, to Alys’s advice/command, I need to get to work!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you’ll find that our friendship – (forever …) 39 and I – surmounts all divides.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The comments on my review are going to be fun.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I feel tyrannized. ; D
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s my girl!!! Laughing out loud!
LikeLiked by 1 person
She’s a feisty one, isn’t she?
LikeLiked by 1 person
She is indeed. Just the kind of person you want your side. She has been a never-ending blessing to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Audre is my guide in many things. She is my Philip.
LikeLiked by 1 person
(tears and humility)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you’ll find the difference in comments will be based on a woman’s cogent and intelligent assessment of the film and, you know … a man’s. LOLOLOLOLOL !!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Port – I just heard from my friend Edward X. Young (Ed). I gave him your email address so he can tell you how he became a reviewer on the Keene Sentinel in New Hampshire.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Audre. I’ll be looking out for his e-mail. I appreciate it!
LikeLike